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Dark Ride (2006) Poster

(2006)

Quotes

Jen: I totally believe in seat-belts. Safety first.

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Jen: I generally feel that people are basically good. However, this one time I was following Phish tour - man, I just love those guys - so, this guy, anyway, driving this really bitching Beamer stops for me, So chitchat chitchat, he was a doctor or a banker, I don't know, a monition or something. So, he asks me where I'm going. And don't ask me how it got started, but we get on the subject of music. Now I don't know a lot of things, but in fact music is the one thing that I am extremely familiar with. I just get it, get it? So this yuppie dickhead starts telling me about music and how back in the day - and I'm like - how ADD kids are nowadays, and I'm like "Fuck!" You know,"back in the day"? Music transcends time and space. Man, it's like a whole symbolic relationship between - are you feeling me? It's like a whole symbolic relationship between life, death, malls, pets, ya know; health and nutrition. So Mr. 2.4 Kids, he tries to kiss me! He actually has his

[crying]

Jen: fucking sweaty paws all over me!

[she screams]

Jen: so what I did was - what I did was, I just leaned over and smashed down really hard in a really sensitive place. Are you feeling me? My aim was dead on! Ding-dong. I rang the bell and won the kewpie, doll, man. I also happened to lose my ride.Took me like four hours to get another one. What was my point? Oh, yeah! You know, I generally believe that people are basically good.

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[first lines]

Colleen: Looks like it's closed.

Samantha: Don't be such a wimp. The guy's right there.

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Jim: Elizabeth, it's been a long time.

Liz: Time was the only long thing you ever gave me, Big Daddy. And it's Liz.

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Steve: Jim tried to give an old guy a blowjob.

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Jim: I bet she's either a psycho or a nympho.

Liz: What is she doing out here all by herself?

Jim: She's a homeless, psychotic nymphomaniac. Where's she gonna be, Park Avenue?

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Jim: I feel obliged to pick up this hot piece of ass. Call it my civic duty.

Cathy: Call it your hard-on.

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Jim: He's a rent-a-cop. I'm surprised he doesn't ride a fucking bicycle.

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Jen: Cathy, it could be fun.

Cathy: That's right, Jen. It could also not be fun. See how that works?

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Cathy: Go ahead. The dark ride's waiting.

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Jen: Just think, I could have hitched a ride with a stalker.

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Liz: Do you see that?

Steve: See What?

Liz: There's someone... there's someone watching us through that window.

Bill: You sure, Liz? You're pretty high.

Liz: Nevermind...

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Jim: It was in all the newspapers.

Liz: Wow, Jim, then it must be true!

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Bill: Newspapers take more liberty with the fact than E! True Hollywood Story.

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Bill: God, we do love our monsters in this country.

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Steve: Get fucked, Cathy, and stay fucked for a while.

Cathy: I wouldn't call 3 minutes including foreplay "a while."

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Jen: I think we should let the children play their children games. 'Sides, we have some adult games to get to.

Jim: Oh God, I love you.

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Cathy: Don't call it revenge. Think of as... time release justice.

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Bill: Well, Jim, turns out Norman Bates was wrong. Seems a boy's best friend isn't his mother; it's his older brother.

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[last lines]

Bill: Thanks for your help, Cathy.

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Samantha: Look at that fire, Colleen. That's awesome! You're not looking! You are such a little girl, Colleen. You know that? I'm gonna start calling you Colleen Cry Baby. I knew I should've left you home, Colleen Cry Baby.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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