Dark Ride (2006)
Jen: I generally feel that people are basically good. However, this one time I was following Phish tour - man, I just love those guys - so, this guy, anyway, driving this really bitching Beamer stops for me, So chitchat chitchat, he was a doctor or a banker, I don't know, a monition or something. So, he asks me where I'm going. And don't ask me how it got started, but we get on the subject of music. Now I don't know a lot of things, but in fact music is the one thing that I am extremely familiar with. I just get it, get it? So this yuppie dickhead starts telling me about music and how back in the day - and I'm like - how ADD kids are nowadays, and I'm like "Fuck!" You know,"back in the day"? Music transcends time and space. Man, it's like a whole symbolic relationship between - are you feeling me? It's like a whole symbolic relationship between life, death, malls, pets, ya know; health and nutrition. So Mr. 2.4 Kids, he tries to kiss me! He actually has his
Jen: fucking sweaty paws all over me!
Jen: so what I did was - what I did was, I just leaned over and smashed down really hard in a really sensitive place. Are you feeling me? My aim was dead on! Ding-dong. I rang the bell and won the kewpie, doll, man. I also happened to lose my ride.Took me like four hours to get another one. What was my point? Oh, yeah! You know, I generally believe that people are basically good.
Colleen: Looks like it's closed.
Samantha: Don't be such a wimp. The guy's right there.
Jim: Elizabeth, it's been a long time.
Liz: Time was the only long thing you ever gave me, Big Daddy. And it's Liz.
Jim: I bet she's either a psycho or a nympho.
Liz: What is she doing out here all by herself?
Jim: She's a homeless, psychotic nymphomaniac. Where's she gonna be, Park Avenue?
Jim: I feel obliged to pick up this hot piece of ass. Call it my civic duty.
Cathy: Call it your hard-on.
Jim: He's a rent-a-cop. I'm surprised he doesn't ride a fucking bicycle.
Jen: Cathy, it could be fun.
Cathy: That's right, Jen. It could also not be fun. See how that works?
Liz: Do you see that?
Steve: See What?
Liz: There's someone... there's someone watching us through that window.
Bill: You sure, Liz? You're pretty high.
Bill: Newspapers take more liberty with the fact than E! True Hollywood Story.
Steve: Get fucked, Cathy, and stay fucked for a while.
Cathy: I wouldn't call 3 minutes including foreplay "a while."
Jen: I think we should let the children play their children games. 'Sides, we have some adult games to get to.
Jim: Oh God, I love you.
Cathy: Don't call it revenge. Think of as... time release justice.
Bill: Well, Jim, turns out Norman Bates was wrong. Seems a boy's best friend isn't his mother; it's his older brother.