Clerks: The Lost Scene (2004 Video)
Alyssa Jones: [upon seeing Randal] WHY did you have to bring him along?
Dante Hicks: He insisted on coming. He said he wasn't going to miss what was probably going to be the social event of the season.
Randall Graves: [while flipping through Julie Dwyer's "death cards"] Got it. Got it. Want it. Need it. Got it.
[the keys to Dante's car and the Quick stop have accidentally ended up near Julie's crotch]
Dante Hicks: Quick. Go down there and get them.
Randall Graves: No way. I'm not reaching into that terminal vagina.
Mr. Dwyer: [upon discovering Dante trying to retrieve the keys] Even in death you can't leave my poor Julie alone! I'll fucking kill you!
Mrs. Dwyer: Oh, you sick, sick pervert.
Randall Graves: Hey, Lady! We're not the ones who laid our daughter out in a bippy top!
[upon learning that Caitlin had told everyone about Sang except him]
Dante Hicks: Damn Caitlin and her secrets.
[Caitlin and Alyssa once had a lesbian tryst]
Alyssa Jones: Oh, Dante. You have no idea.
Dante Hicks: If anyone ever asks, I wanna be laid out in a suit...
Randall Graves: If anyone ever asks me I'm tellin' them you wanna be laid out in a belly blast!
Randall Graves: You know what I can't wait to get ahold of? Those death cards they give out here. You ever see 'em?
Dante Hicks: Would you lower your voice? People are mourning here.
Randall Graves: Holy shit! There they are, come on.
Dante Hicks: Fine. Just whatever you do, don't embarass me.
Randall Graves: If you're not already embarassed by your own sad fucking existence, then I assure you, nothing I can ever do or say is going to make you blush.
Dante Hicks: When we get up there, I'm going right to the coffin.
Randall Graves: You're supposed to express regret to the family first.
Dante Hicks: Yeah, well, I don't think her parents need to see me right now.
Randall Graves: What are you talking about?
Dante Hicks: They caught Julie and I together once.
Randall Graves: Get outta here!
Dante Hicks: Lower your voice!
Randall Graves: They caught you fucking Julie?
Dante Hicks: Worse.
Randall Graves: Worse than fucking?
Dante Hicks: Something no parent wants to see their child engaged in.
Randall Graves: Butt-fucking?
Dante Hicks: Would you please shut up?