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Today You Die (V) More at IMDbPro »

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56 out of 68 people found the following review useful:

I've gone and watched a Seagal film again!

Author: Thomas Jolliffe (supertom-3) from Marlow, England
12 September 2005

Steven Seagal is back! Here with his third film released this year. Of course as a one time fan who has become increasingly disgruntled I can say it comes as no surprise that this is pretty lame. Firstly the film made headlines because of apparent problems in production due to Seagal. He would turn up late on set, change the script, crew etc and generally cause problems for the director, Don E Faun Leroy (his lack of talent his trouble enough!). This also happens in their second collaboration the upcoming Mercenary which promises to be just as bad as this garbage. This also marks a big turning point in Seagal's career because this film is the first of his to really dig out the stock footage. There was a little in Ticker but this film takes the biscuit. They borrow bits from, The Order (A Van Damme movie, Seagals biggest rival in DTV movies!) No Code Of Conduct, Undisputed, and also an entire action sequence from the little known Peter Weller starring vehicle Top Of The World. Interestingly the car chase stolen from Weller's epic, made almost 10 years ago and ironically probably cheaper than this garbage, is actually by far the best action scene of the film. I was shocked enough when Dolph Lundgren had a brief stint in the stock action video world, which thankfully he has escaped from. Seagal though is the leader of the DTV action market currently, with Van Damme and Snipes his main rivals. Seagal still manages to sell movies and for the life of me I don't know how. Surely the fans must be getting bored of this awfulness, longing for a return to the likes of Above The Law. The story here is totally lame. In fact the film has so many plot holes it doesn't bare thinking about. For example at the end of a film there's a little girl that Seagal apparently knows at an orphanage who he gives a necklace to. Why I don't know but we never see her at all in the rest of the movie, or hear her mentioned. Seagal has a girlfriend in this movie who at the beginning of the film is with a psychic and she becomes haunted by visions, which by the end of the film are never explained and mean nothing. The film is so ridiculously glued together by a series of meaningless pap that it becomes headache inducing.. This is by far Seagal's dumbest movie! Seagal himself is as wooden as ever, however to his credit he doesn't get dubbed in this one as far as I could tell. Seagal does however feel the need to talk like he is a gangsta rapper, making me long for the days he would don his Brooklyn/Italian-American accent, in his classic early films. He also has a painfully unfunny double act with Treach, who I assume is a rapper. It is funny how producers seem to think that the combo of Seagal, plus hip-hop star seems to work, because his team up with DMX in Exit Wounds was his most successful film since Under Siege. Clearly though if no one has heard of the rapper, it won't work. This is an action film though and so the action itself must be judged. Unfortunately the action that didn't come form the NU Image back catalogue is strictly routine. There are a few small fight scenes with some classic Seagal aikido but when 90% is performed by his stunt double, who really does have a rigorous work out in this film, it really doesn't impress much. There are also some standard gun fights which really only have some nice violent and bloody squibbage going for them. All in all this is a painfully boring experience and once again I'm left giving the same verdict: Seagal has lost it! I keep asking the years old question now, "why do people still watch his movies?" That is all very well and good as a question but the sad bastard that I am continues to watch his films in the deluded hope he may do something good once again. Chances are slim, unlike Seagal's ever expanding waistline. *1/2

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41 out of 46 people found the following review useful:

Get Ready For Some Seagal Hilarity!

Author: Comeuppance Reviews from United States Minor Outlying Islands
9 September 2005

"Today You Die" is another ridiculous action film from Seagal. The plot is: Harlan Banks (Seagal) gets a job as a getaway driver for a big casino heist. It turns sour and Harlan goes to jail. In the slammer he meets Ice Cool (Treach) who can help him escape. Meanwhile the brains behind the casino heist think Harlan has the stolen money. When Harlan escapes he dishes out some revenge to the bad guys.

There are many unintentional moments of comedy and here some of the standouts: 1. When Seagal jumps on a chandelier and kicks a goon 20 feet. 2. When Seagal does any fighting they don't show it.(The stunt doubles do all the work). 3. The glaring continuity errors. He punches a guy in a brown coat and then it switches to a black one. He also wears the same button down blue jacket as in "Submerged" (2005). He refuses to take off his jacket while in prison with Ice Cool. He is the only guy in the entire prison NOT wearing the traditional prison garb.

Besides that, Treach and Stevie have some chemistry and the movie is action-packed. See it if you still like Seagal.

For more insanity, please visit:

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24 out of 33 people found the following review useful:

Well, if compared to the latest Seagal movies this one is great

Author: Stephan Klose from Vienna, Austria
11 October 2005

Seagal, once again he wants out of something. Usually it's the Cia or the Military. This time he wants to quit being a thief. But on the first day of his new job as a driver for money a diamonds it seems that he is being set up. Well.. so he tries to split, destroying a lot of cop cars during that attempt. Well then he leaves the car with 20 Million $ somewhere and gets picked up by the police. Suddenly he finds himself in Jail. (Without a trial I mind you). In the Penetentiary he makes a fried who helps him escape. And further a bad thing for him: He kinda forgot where he stashed the money. And the guy he is now after is kinda involved in the setup but he needs the money also. And of course nobody knows if the the Guy, called Max by the way, is still alive or not. (I becomes clear later on but I don't want to spoil it for you). Well and then there is his girlfriend having visions. Why and what for.. nobody knows... Oh and there is a lot of stuntman replacement for Seagal even when it's not necessary. BUT: Compared to his last movies like Submerged, Into the sun and other, well not so really good movies this one is a real masterpiece. So I rated it with 9. But that's on a Seagal Scale... On a regular Scale it would be 3 or 4.. Oh and for the Actionfans: there is a lot of it and really bloody.. so if that's what you are looking for you are gonna get it... regards, Stephan

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16 out of 21 people found the following review useful:

It's a bird, It's a plane, No It's Seagal's stunt man

13 September 2005

It's been 3 months and you know what that means...A new Seagal movie. Seagal has really been on role making horrible film after horrible film. Each time every movie getting worse and worse, he's really amazing! I don't really know what to say about TYD, first it's a piece of crap, the story makes no sense at all, secondly he uses stunt men in all his fight scenes, and last but not least a lot of the footage is taken from other movies! It amazes how this guy continues to find work, he comes to the set late and leaves early and because of that his films are full of plot holes and stunt men. Why do we continue to buy his movies, why do we continue to have hope that maybe just maybe he will make a great movie?

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11 out of 14 people found the following review useful:


Author: mattressman_pdl from Iowa, United States
5 January 2006

Seagal is back...on video. The aikido master returns as Harlan Banks, a career thief whose attempt to go straight is marred by a group of baddies who set him up for a 20 million dollar pay day. When put along the likes of The Foreigner and Submerged, this will be a breath of fresh air. It is 90 percent Seagal's voice and he seems to at least have a little fun with it now, I mean how many chances to you get to see Seagal smile? not nearly often enough. Now there IS some stock footage but it is blended pretty well. His double seems to be doing approximately half of the work while Steven does more then we would think (his confrontation with the guy in prison was ALL Steven as was his fight with Couture, however most other scenes feature his double). Treach is an extremely likable character and seems above this, gotta respect him for trying at least. To leave you with a positive quote from the film. "You drive like a motha' ****** old lady.

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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Dire action rubbish from an over-the-hill Seagal.

Author: BA_Harrison from Hampshire, England
10 August 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I usually spend almost as much time writing my reviews as I do watching the film, but with Today You Die, I feel that doing so would be a criminal waste of my time.

So here is a five minute rant about how bad this film is.

There was a time in the mid-80s when a single look from Steven Seagal was enough to crack your ribs; a full on scowl could knock you off your feet. If he actually got a hold of you, he would snap you like a twig.

These days, although he is still capable of doing considerable damage, he no longer looks the part. He's gone to seed and just doesn't know when to call it quits. He walks like he's dumped in his pants yet somehow still manages to look constipated, and he has put on weight. His trademark long ponytail has gone, but his hair still looks stupid. How this man keeps on working in the movie industry is beyond me.

Today you Die is the usual Seagal mix of bone crunching fights, car crashes, gun battles and pyrotechnics. Seagal mumbles his way through the dull script, delivering his lines with zero enthusiasm or believability. In this third-rate action flick, he plays Harlan Banks a thief trying to go straight, who is conned into partaking in a $20,000,000 robbery. He gets caught, goes to jail, escapes, and seeks revenge. Yawn.

There are some pretty good car chases and gun fights which intersperse the boring stuff (of which there is a lot), but reading other comments on IMDb has revealed that these were actually borrowed from other better movies. Seagal is also body-doubled an awful lot in this one.

Seagal turns in one of the most dreadful performances of his career—and that's saying something, considering the lousy 'acting' in some of his recent efforts. Most hilarious is his totally embarrassing attempt at Ebonics (African American street slang). 'I da man, fo' sho'—no, actually Steven, you sound like an arse! With a ridiculous script and plot lines that go nowhere, this film is a waste of time, money and effort. And the final moment, where Harlan Banks saves a Children's home from closure is enough to make you blow chunks.

Damn, I just looked at the clock. I was enjoying trashing this steaming pile of dreck so much, I went way over my five minutes. It's time to post this comment and get to watching something decent.

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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Poor action films are the graveyards for aging martial art stars.

Author: WhatsDis from United States
27 November 2005

Poor action films are the graveyards for aging martial art stars. In such films they struggle to maintain that dangerous demeanor that made their early work successful, but they all end in failure. Seagal is too old for this type of role but he wont let matter how silly he looks. Some hope his current work will somehow bring back the magic, but there is no magic left. The late '80s and early '90s belonged to Steven Seagal and his work made me a fan. I could see him fit nicely in a slot on The Sopranos where his overweight body, jowly features and sullen attitude could have found a home. I wonder what the return is on his run of direct to video films?! Since he produces them I'm assuming the $$$ is more than satisfactory. If this is the deal we will be subjected to poorly done Seagal action films well into his late 60s and 70s.....

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8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

Old wine in the old bottle

Author: sanliizzet from Turkey
27 February 2008

I ran across this movie on a local TV channel last night. Frankly, I have never heard about this movie before. Simply, I lost track of Seagual's recent movies, for each one is worst than the previous one. Here, again we have a dull Seagal as if he was insisted by his girlfriend to make this movie and he accepted forcefully. The plot is ridiculous, acting is below zero, and there is no single aspect the movie is not falling apart. I simply don't have any idea why Seagal did this movie. Man, it is even worst than "Out for a kill"! If you watch this movie you will start feeling sorry for Seagal. He seems to be running out of ideas, enthusiasm and money. Avoid this movie and do something worthwhile.

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5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Half past Dead 2:Today you diet.

Author: argentobuff from United States
27 March 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Ah yet another Seagal movie.In no less than a few mere months arrive to populate the video store shelves.As bad as Submerged?No.But that is not saying much.Like perfume on a pig.

Seagal is professional thief who wants to quit,but goes for one last job only to be double-crossed by his boss.He lands in Prison and is befriended by a Gangster who helps him to break out and seek payback.

Its good to see Seagal finally not playing an agent,cop,or what he usually plays.We actually get a USA Location in Las Vegas it seems. Then an eastern European territory as usual. There is no wire-Fu either here.Don Fauntleroy does an okay job.

However most of the action and fight scenes with Stevie are clearly doubles.Scenes from other movies,a lack of realism and logic in even tiniest situation.Seagal and Treech make a so-so team inspiring(unintentional) laughs one minute.Sighs the rest.

Several notable faces turn up to slum it.. sleepy Kevin Tighe is a long way from his emergency days.Nick Mancuso shows up in sleepwalking mode to take a check.No more rappers.Please?

At this point the action scenes and plots are more predictable and recycled generically more than ever.Its a stale scene that Seagal needs to get out of or hang it up.He should have gotten out a while ago.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Mediocre, a step-up for Seagal.

Author: callanvass
8 January 2011

(Credit IMDb) A former thief who is trying to go straight seeks vengeance on those who framed him.

Today You Die consists of more stock footage then I'd have liked, but considering the turds he puts out on a consistent basis these days, even stock-footage I'll take, if it has some good bits and pieces. It has a decent car chase scene, and Seagal does do some fights, only a few of them are filmed in the dark. Seagal looks a bit more motivated then usual, despite wearing a big coat, to hide his heavy baggage. Treach isn't that easy to watch though, and his chemistry with Seagal wasn't that great. The ending is a bit cheesy too. But that's Seagal these days for you.

Performances. Seagal is better then he usually is in low budget crap, but that isn't saying much. He's still lazy, and I never was fully satisfied. That being said, he's better then usual. Treach is annoying, and should stick to rapping. Mari Morrow is OK in her role as Seagal's love interest. Kevin Tighe and Nick Mancusco both good villains, do alright here. Sarah Buxton is easy on the eyes and does decent as an Agent.

Bottom line. Mediocre is even pushing it, but if this type of quality means no more stuff like Kill Switch, Attack Force, etc., count me in!. Not sure if it's worth an entire recommendation, but Seagal fans might be somewhat surprised. I kind of was.


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