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Frostbite (2005)

R  |  Video  |   |  Comedy  |  15 February 2005 (USA)
2.9
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Ratings: 2.9/10 from 1,495 users  
Reviews: 22 user | 8 critic

A group of misfit slackers battle a group of egotistical snobs for snowboarding rights to a ski mountain.

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(as Jonathan Schwartz)
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Title: Frostbite (Video 2005)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Colonel Jaffe
...
Naomi Bucks
...
Billy Wagstaff
...
J.P. Millhouse
...
Casey Richards (as Carmen Nicole)
...
Winter Jaffe
Oliver Macready ...
Brandt Von Hoffman
...
Blind Danny Temples
...
Hans Gruber
Gus Farewell ...
Sven Darden
...
Bartender
Maggie Rowe ...
Receptionist (Suzy)
Matt Baker ...
Balls
Kareem Matthews ...
Shaft
...
Grabs
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Storyline

Slacker Billy Wagstaff leaves his Venice Beach home and travels to Pine Mountain after being accepted into a snowboarding academy. Upon arriving, Billy and his childhood friend, Casey, find themselves in the middle of a local feud between the egotistical mountain owner, Colonel Jaffe, and the misfit locals led by activist J.P. Millhouse and coffee show owner Naomi Bucks. Billy sets his signs on snowboarding, but when he's booted from the academy he teams up with the so-called "poorees" to get even with Colonel Jaffe's group of "richies." Written by Matt Patay

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Snowboarding has never been this HOT!

Genres:

Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for sexual content including nudity and dialogue, language, crude humor and some drug use | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

15 February 2005 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Loucuras na Neve  »

Box Office

Budget:

$2,400,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Color:

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Interior scenes and hot tub scene were shot at ValCom Studios in Valencia, CA where the _"NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service" (2003)_ TV series is shot. See more »

Quotes

Billy Wagstaff: [bumps into a man on the street] Oh!
Blind Danny Temples: Fucking asshole!
Billy Wagstaff: Look, I'm sorry you hit the ground, but maybe you should have been watching were you're going.
Blind Danny Temples: "Watch where I'm going." Well, I would love to watch where I'm going. The only problem with that is... I'M FUCKING BLIND! I'M BLIND!
Billy Wagstaff: Oh, sweet jesus, I didn't know.
Blind Danny Temples: Hey, you must be blind to. I'm yelling at another blind guy. That's horrible! You wanna touch faces and see what we look like?
Billy Wagstaff: The thing is I'm not... blind.
Blind Danny Temples: Well... joke's on me. I that...
See more »

Crazy Credits

After the credits, an additional scene is shown, featuring a character called Jack Schitt walking into the bar. See more »

Connections

References The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Like an R-rated "Ernest" film, minus ANY funny jokes....
17 March 2005 | by See all my reviews

About 20 minutes into this lame excuse for a movie, I realized it reminded me of one of those annoying people at work who're always telling really lame jokes or doing extremely unfunny things, because they think it's funny and are trying to entertain everyone.

This film is billed as starring Traci Lords, she's not that bad of an actress, but her lines aren't funny and SHE'S NOT THE STAR

The acting is some of the most god-awful I've ever seen, except for Lords, the girl who plays Casey, and maybe the Colonel-who seems oddly out of place. I can't imagine why a retired military Colonel would want to start a SNOWBOARDING ACADEMY. Do those even exist?

The budget would've been better spent coaxing these women into doing a full length porn feature.

"Freddy Got Fingered" currently has a 3.5 score, "Frostbite" has a 2.7. I'm baffled these two movies are within a 1.0 to each other, FGF is "The Godfather" compared to this garbage.

1/10 stars


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