Frostbite (Video 2005) 2.6
A group of misfit slackers battle a group of egotistical snobs for snowboarding rights to a ski mountain. Director:Jonathan B. Schwartz |
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Frostbite (Video 2005) 2.6
A group of misfit slackers battle a group of egotistical snobs for snowboarding rights to a ski mountain. Director:Jonathan B. Schwartz |
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Peter Jason | ... |
Colonel Jaffe
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| Traci Lords | ... |
Naomi Bucks
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| Adam Grimes | ... |
Billy Wagstaff
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| Phil Morris | ... |
J.P. Millhouse
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| Carmen Nicole | ... |
Casey Richards
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| Baelyn Neff | ... |
Winter Jaffe
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Oliver Macready | ... |
Brandt Von Hoffman
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| Ron Zimmerman | ... |
Blind Danny Temples
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| Christian Oliver | ... |
Hans Gruber
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Gus Farewell | ... |
Sven Darden
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| Rick Overton | ... |
Bartender
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Maggie Rowe | ... |
Receptionist (Suzy)
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Matt Baker | ... |
Balls
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Kareem Matthews | ... |
Shaft
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| Troy Bellinghausen | ... |
Grabs
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Slacker Billy Wagstaff leaves his Venice Beach home and travels to Pine Mountain after being accepted into a snowboarding academy. Upon arriving, Billy and his childhood friend, Casey, find themselves in the middle of a local feud between the egotistical mountain owner, Colonel Jaffe, and the misfit locals led by activist J.P. Millhouse and coffee show owner Naomi Bucks. Billy sets his signs on snowboarding, but when he's booted from the academy he teams up with the so-called "poorees" to get even with Colonel Jaffe's group of "richies." Written by Matt Patay
After a while I realized it was just my IQ slowly dropping. Frostbite is one of those pathetic movies where no one, and I mean no one, is even trying. I rooted for the dorky hero to die inside that trashcan (how did he even manage to fit in there, anyway?), Traci Lords, the queen of B movies, was horribly unfunny and ripped me and my friends off by not showing her boobs a single time.
The "characters", though I use that term loosely, are people so exaggerated and one-dimensional they might as well have used cardboard cutouts. The "jokes" (I use this term loosely as well) are simply hilarious. A guy's fart causes an earthquake. Roflcopter! Our "hero" gets a butt acupuncture by Traci Lords. Oh God, I can't breathe! The blind guy uses the F word repeatedly! This is too much!!!
Say what you want about the acting but I thought Adam Grimes did a pretty good job at playing a mentally challenged snowboarder. Apart from that the sole source of entertainment value here is boobs. I think I counted three, maybe four pairs throughout the entire film, scattered over maybe five minutes of screen time. That's five minutes worth watching out of 83 minutes of unfunny trash. Don't watch this. Watch Barb Wire with Pamela Anderson - at least there was plenty of nudity and action in that trashy flick!(r#26)