Bloodsuckers (TV Movie 2005) Poster

(2005 TV Movie)

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8/10
B horror SiFi hybrid that I got pleasure & satisfaction from. FUN.
stormruston4 September 2006
This is no Blade and Star wars cross, but being a movie thats whole budget would have been less then Darth Vader's wardrobe cost its pretty darn good.

This is a B movie and I knew that when I bought it, it surpassed my expectations and gave me 90 or so minutes of amusement.

The acting ranged from passable at worse to good. Micheal Ironsides was so over the top it was like watching live theater! Natassia Malthe is nice eye candy and had a great wardrobe( skin tight and sexy).

The special effects were not that great, but they did not ever remove you from the movie by being super bad. Completely acceptable for a B movie.(well the hand puppet was a stretch but otherwise...) The gore was great, there was lots of it and it was a blast to watch.

Someone mentioned a cross between Buffy and firefly( a good review) I agree only think with more edge and darker.

This one is a winner for B movie buffs.
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4/10
Sock Puppets, Yes. Good Sci-Fi Channel Movie, Yes.
cedarrapidsboy5 November 2007
#1 Vampires vs. Humans

#2 Military-reject roughneck squad as first responders to dangerous, unknown Vampire incursions.

#3 Sexy female Vampire on the side of the "good guys".

#4 Plenty of gore and action.

There are four (4) major plot devices that may help you decide if you want to watch this movie. If you want all four, then the next plot device may not deter you...

#5 In outer space.

That last one almost got me too, but I'm glad I watched. In a pile of terrible direct-to-video horror that is the Sci-Fi channel Halloween marathon... this movie is a breath of fresh air. It will stand-up against any of the other Sci-Fi channel offerings, and even against the other Vampire movie Natassia starred in (who keeps giving Uwe Boll money?).
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5/10
Watchable B-Trash-Movie
Claudio Carvalho21 July 2007
In 2210, mankind has explored the space and found a vampiric menace, declaring war against different breeds of vampires some of them inclusive human flesh cannibals. The V-SAN (aka Vampire Sanitation) spaceship leaded by Captain Churchill (Joe Lando) receives a distress call from an Earth base and his team formed by the vampire Quintana (Natassia Malthe), the rookie officer Damian (Dominic Zamprogna) and the rebels Rosa (Leanne Adachi) and Roman (Aaron Pearl) seek survivors and vampires and they rescue the scientist Fiona (A.J. Cook), but Capt. Churchill is captured by the vampires. After their next assignment, the provisional captain Damian and his group disclose that a traitor has disengaged the defense system of the bases and they chase their prime suspect.

I like B-movies, but "Bloodsuckers" has very contradictory characters and situations. The story has some potential but the internal fights and argues and contradictions of the V-SAN team have irritated me. The so-called vampires are actually cannibals and have nothing to do with the traditional vampires that suck blood and fear garlic, crosses, holy water and sunlight. The worm vampire is hilarious and one of the funniest moments of this flick. Natassia Malthe recalls Catherine Zeta-Jones and is also extremely gorgeous. This movie seems to be a forgettable television pilot of a series. My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "A Guerra dos Vampiros" ("The War of the Vampires")
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6/10
Entertaining!
Scott Paist28 July 2006
First off, the movie I watched was "Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe", which apparently is an alternate title for "Bloodsuckers" (and a much better one IMO). Second, anyone who chooses to watch this movie and expects anything better than B-movie special effects and acting is a fool. Third, you must turn off your brain to truly enjoy these kinds of movies.

Now that I have that out of the way, I really enjoyed this movie. Spaceships, alien vampires, and half-human/half-vampire psychics are what great B-movies are made of. The gore is relatively high, but even though that got it its 'R' rating, there was no language or nudity. I have to admit, after watching Quintana in all of her minimal leather outfits, the "tantric vampire sex" scene was disappointing. I can't help but feel that the director was playing with us. Regardless, the story holds together, the special effects were above average, and there were even some good actors (specifically the guy who played the captain and the environmentalist girl).

This movie is perfect for the "let's all watch a bad movie" night.
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8/10
Low budget, but still very good
Mike (m_holzel)14 November 2006
Well normally i don't write the reviews. how ever i don't agree with the dude that wrote the last review, i mean he really burned this movie to the ground. And i just think thats wrong.

When you view this movie you will notice (if you pay attention) some current topics one of them being that humankind abuses the planet, and now we are going in to space, Yay us. But back to the movie. It is true that it is a B movie, but I'm still of the opinion that its a F-ing good B movie. i mean the acting does grow better later on in the movie, there is some pretty good music, and the storyline isn't bad either.

This is a movie that you should watch, it has action, humor, romance, betrayal it has it all.

Ow and a funny little fact for those of you that used to watch Andromeda. The ship they use is based on the Maru, same layout, same cockpit.
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8/10
Blade meets Alien
jimbob92108 March 2009
In no way is this your typical B-Movie. I turned it on thinking "Oh great, vampires in space. This should be good for a laugh!". Actually though I thought that the plot was great and, although predictable, was engaging throughout. You just can't change the channel. The producers really made the most out of their budget. It was only 1.7 million, but it looks at least three times that. Natassia Malthe is smokin' hot and the acting from both her and Dominic Zamprogna is excellent. The film has some pretty interesting concepts (vampiric mind sex anyone?) and the use of the many different vampire species pulls the plot along nicely. The vampires themselves were admittedly a bit shaky and didn't really look the part, with the notable exception of Natassia.

So overall, I would rate this movie an 8/10. Its fun and engaging, and can easily go toe-to-toe with most blockbuster vampire/sci-fi movies.
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3/10
Stop the conveyor belt of bad movies!
siderite16 May 2006
I give this movie a 3 as it is worse than the cult movies that deserve a proper 2. It does not make sense to you? Well, it doesn't have to. This is another vampire movie with a stupid plot, no, let me rephrase, incredibly idiotic plot, where space cowboys (complete with cowboy hats) battle a space race of moron vampires.

Does it get any uglier than this? The only good thing in this movie was Natassia Malthe, with her stunning Norwegian beauty. God, I wish Michael Ironside and the DeLuise brothers would stop accepting dumb roles in dumb movies! I mean, at least SeaQuest was nice! I know Mr. Ironside from a lot of movies, he has acted in 164 movies at this date!! It's true that he was rarely in a major role, but still!
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1/10
Michael Ironside Fire Your Agent!
mikedminor15 August 2005
If it were not for the "Oh So Gourgous," Natassia Malthe, this B- movie would not have been worth one sector of my Tivo disk space! In what low rent, back lot warehouse was the supposed space port filmed in? "Continuity People!" It's a basic principle in real movie making! By night an alleged space port and by day (night and day on a space station?) a warehouse!??!? People Please! The only thing I will commend this movie for, is the wardrobe dept. for continuously, keeping Natassia in those tight shape revealing outfits! Even the women who saw this bomb had to appreciate the outfits that she obviously spent some time getting into, each day of filming! The Sci-fi channel would have been better off showing SpaceBalls! At least there would have been some real humor in watching something so unbelievable.

P.S. Michael Ironside, please Fire Your Agent ASAP! You are so much better of an actor, to be even associated with this level of movie making.
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4/10
Less than stellar straight to video material that delivers what you expect.
Skutter-220 January 2007
Bloodsuckers has the potential to be a somewhat decent movie, the concept of military types tracking down and battling vampires in space is one with some potential in the cheesier realm of things. Even the idea of the universe being full of various different breeds of vampire, all with different attributes, many of which the characters have yet to find out about, is kind of cool as well. As to how most of the life in the galaxy outside of earth is vampire, I'm not sure how the makers meant for that to work, given the nature of vampires. Who the hell they are meant to be feeding on if almost everyone is a vampire I don't know. As it is the movie comes across a low budget mix of Firefly/Serenity and vampires movies with a dash of Aliens.

The action parts of the movie are pretty average and derivative (Particularly of Serenity) but passable- they are reasonably well executed and there is enough gore for a vampire flick, including some of the comical blood-spurting variety. There is a lot of character stuff, most of which is tedious, coming from conflicts between characters who mostly seem like whiny, immature arseholes- primarily cowboy dude and Asian woman. There are a few character scenes that actually kind of work and the actors don't play it too badly but it mostly slows things down. A nice try at fleshing the characters out but people don't watch a movie called Bloodsuckers for character development and drama. The acting is actually okay. Michael Ironside hams it up and is as fun to watch as ever and at least of a couple of the women are hot. The space SFX aren't too bad for what is clearly a low budget work. The story is again pretty average and derivative but as I said the world created has a little bit of potential. The way things are set up Bloodsuckers really does seem like the pilot for a TV series- character dynamics introduced, the world introduced but not explored, etc.

The film does have a some highlights and head scratching moments- the kind of stuff that actually makes these dodgy productions watchable. -The scene where our heroes interrogate a talking sock puppet chestburster type creature. Hilarious. - The "sex scene." WTF indeed. -The credit "And Michael Ironside as Muco." The most annoying aspect of it all though is the really awful and usually inappropriate pop music they have playing very loud over half the scenes of the movie. It is painful to listen to and only detracts from what is only average at best.

Basically an okay watch is you're up for something cheesy, even if it is just for the "chestburster" scene.
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7/10
Even in space your blood isn't safe
Vomitron_G2 June 2010
Damn, this actually was a lot more fun than I expected it to be! Seriously, if you don't like this, then you're either way too serious or you should just stick to watching Gus Van Sant movies and never visit the modest-budget horror-genre again. "Bloodsuckers" is very tongue-in-cheek. Humanity has moved to outer space, and found out that it's inhabited by lots of vampires. Even different sorts and races of vampires (for example: there are Voorhees and Leatherfaces, so that might give you a hint as to not take it all too seriously). There's a lot of bloodshed and mild gore in this flick (which surprised me, because it seems like this film was made for TV). It's basically some sort of cross between Josh Whedon's "Serenity" and John Carpenter's "Vampires", but yes, of course with a little tighter budget. Michael Ironside is in it too. Though he only has a small roll as a vampire-leader, he really is quite enjoyable, as always. And Natassia Malthe is HOT as hell as the Goth-babe/Half-vampire Quintana! Just beware a little bit of my rather high 7/10 rating. This isn't a prime example of excellent indie-film-making (even if made for TV) and it's not as good as the two aforementioned movies. But when you're going into this one with the right mindset, then you just might have a whole heap of fun with it.
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3/10
Bloodsuckers, a tragedy
wtstar5 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Whoo-boy, that was definitely one of the worst flicks I've seen all summer. Granted, it was on Sci Fi, and I don't watch much Sci Fi, but man, talk about a razor thin plot and two dimensional characters to the max.

The characters were stereotypical and overdone, the plot and setting were unbelievable, the vampires were less intimidating, more funny-looking, the gore was unnecessary, the special effects were down-right horrible, and the ending? Well, the only thing unpredictable about the ending was when suddenly the tomboy becomes a lesbian and starts to do it with the female vampire, which, by the way, isn't really all that hot considering it occurs for about three seconds, in which you're closer to "What the hell?" then "Man, that's hot." If this ever appears in reruns, God forbid, DON'T WATCH IT.
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1/10
And to think, I was actually looking forward to this.
Jack31 July 2005
This is just flat out unwatchable. If there's a story in here somewhere, it's so deeply buried beneath the horrid characters and jarring camera work that's it's indiscernible. There's a group of vampire hunters who go around doing their thing, and the vampires they kill have little aliens inside of them. They pop their heads out and talk like Speedy Gonzales. If you can imagine a blood and gore covered alien sock puppet screaming in horror as a cowboy dude zaps it with a cattle prod, well, that's what you get here. These folks are loud, obnoxious, violent, and just extremely annoying. Then there are some anti-human humans, who stand around in their CGI spaceship being so incredibly pompous that it's impossible to take. These folks make Hillary Clinton seem like a right-wing extremist in comparison. They're friends with some vampires, or something...who cares.

Then there's the camera work. Remember how everybody hated the thousand-cuts-a-minute crap from the recent Rolleball remake? The folks who made this movie LOVE that stuff. There's enough of it in here for three really crappy nu-metal videos on MTV.

Nuff said. This thing smells. In comparison, Dracula 3000 is a masterwork.
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6/10
Very good for being a "B-movie"
drakenat-124 January 2007
I was actually surprised, it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. OK, it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but it was still worth watching.

The acting is OK for the most part of the film and there's enough eye candy (Natassia Malthe in leather) for the guys. The special effects could have been better, but are still good enough for me.

The plot was about what you can expect for a movie with a title like this, the only thing that really disturbed me was the cowboy-hats. I mean, sure, they're "space cowboys", but why on earth do they have to wear cowboy hats? A little more depth in the characters wouldn't have hurt either.

If you're out for a mind blowing experience then you should probably view another movie, but if you're into SCI-FI movies and don't mind if the whole vampire-myth gets a little bit trashed this film ought to keep you company, should you get bored some night.
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10/10
That flick rocked!
Stoffer Chadwick31 July 2005
Okay, so I know that SCI FI channel is super low budget, so I gotta take that into account when I write a comment....right? That would be the right thing to do, to respect the work the film-makers obviously did on a film of this scope for zero dough, right? I mean, does anyone on this board REALLY have the expertise to accurately comment on a film when they (myself included) have never directed a film, written a film or even produced a film? I've got blinders on to all the haters out there who are munching pizza and littering their bitter viewpoints with grammatical errors. Truth is, their viewpoints don't even make sense. Anyhow, enough of that crap. I thought this film was amazingly entertaining for the $$$. Some of the CGI was a little rough, but that stuff is expensive, yo. Ask Lucas. The acting was WAY better than your typical SCI- FI flick and quite frankly, better that most studio films. In fact, it really felt like a set up for a series. I'd watch BS as a series for sure. I thought the action sequences were really good and the production design was way above average. Also the editing and music were cool. Obviously the people who made it cared about it. I'm looking forward to the DVD and the full version. I give it an "A" for effort. Imagine what they could have done with another couple a million?!
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4/10
A Silly and Pintless Vampires in Space Movie
gavin69422 October 2007
Man has been to the farthest reaches of the earth and now he is traveling to new worlds. But with new worlds come ancient evils... the vampires of space. And not just a handful but entire tribes. In this film (which I saw as "Bloodsuckers" but I guess also goes as "Vampires Wars") we see what happens when the imperialist earthlings meet the imperialist vampires.

I will make this review very short because it's undeserving of a good review. The best I can say for this film is it has a good cast of b-list and upcoming stars. Natassia Malthe was Quintana, and was far more attractive here than in "Bloodrayne 2". Michael Ironside is Muco, and is always a fan favorite (as I say, he's the poor man's Jack Nicholson). And we even get Carrie-Ann Fleming as "Damian's wife", who horror fans will now recognize as the eponymous Jenifer from Dario Argento's "Jenifer". So this movie, as bad as it is, isn't without some names attached... but the same can be said of Uwe Boll's work.

The concept of the military tracking and killing vampires in space isn't necessarily a bad idea, but it easily falls into the realm of "cheese" and this film falls hard. The acting, especially from the vampires, is over the top and I just didn't find the explanations of their existence very convincing. Worst of all, the vampire tribes have the names "Voorhess" and "Leatherfaces". I understand this was supposed to be a clever reference for the horror fans, but it wasn't clever at all. It just sounded dumb and out of place (unlike the much more subtle references in James Gunn's "Slither", such as naming stores after lesser-known horror directors).

That's all I want to say. If you can stand lots of cheese (on this day I couldn't and I'm from Wisconsin) and want to see average actors with poor costumes fight vampires in space (although "space" looks a lot like any other forest on earth) check this one out, if you can find it. I don't personally recommend this when you can watch other cheesy vampires films (Jon Carpenter's "Vampires") or other cheesy space movies. Or maybe even some good ones. But, hey, do your thing.
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5/10
A future cult classic
Mister-Rational31 July 2005
First off; this movie is a bit out there even in direct-to-video terms, but in this case, that isn't such a bad thing! The story revolves around a group of space vampire-hunters that go from planet to planet trying to exterminate the bloodsucker menace. Along the way; the crew must solve the mystery of why the defense systems of the human colonies on various planets are being shut down, allowing the vampires to massacre it's residents. As well as stop the Vampires from starting all out war with humans. Though the idea of the movie is a bit cheesy and there is literally no plot twists; Bloodsuckers has an unexpected charm that lures you in and keeps you watching. The only real problems I had with the movie was the worm-sock puppet and the constant bickering. However, Bloodsuckers made up for that by actually showing reasons why the crew start to trust each other, instead of the main character does something cool and they forget all their past discrepancies (A feet that most movies always do). Also, I enjoyed the idea of many different species of vampires, instead of just one (Yes, even the vampire worm IDEA was creative; not the actual worm itself.) In conclusion, Bloodsuckers is a strange, entertaining film. In my personal opinion, I would like to see Sci-fi channel make a series from this movie. (Hey, it can't be worst than tremors!)
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10/10
Ought to be a regular series
manodogs22 October 2006
This certainly isn't Goodfellas, but it's damn fine fare for what it is: a made-for-TV movie about vampires in space and the slayers who hunt them. But it isn't cheesy and doesn't try to be campy. It's a straightforward sci-fi/horror flick with rich and engaging characters (pared down to archetypes for the time allotted, of course), a fully-developed setting (again, pared for time, but the rich background is obvious in the vampiric languages that are apparently more than gobbledigook and the information given on planets and positions, etc.), a very rapid pace that keeps the story moving without turning into a music video, and pitch-perfect cinematography and direction.

It is not flashy or showy, but it's certainly not "sock puppets and CGI." In fact, there is almost none of either. The SFX are actually dependent on make-up, sets, lighting, and acting. Not that there is much SFX to speak of. The focus is on the characters and plot development and both shine. Unlike the aforementioned Buffy and its blatant, cheeseball camp.

Obviously set up for series development, I'm shocked and saddened they didn't pursue it. This would make a killer series.
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9/10
Bloodsuckers, a new great show
kaisai31 July 2005
As far as story line goes, "Bloodsuckers" is an unusual one. Opening many opportunities for other actors like Joe Lando, Michael Ironside, to try a different kind of role to play. Even Joe Lando said "it was a different kind of experience playing a vampire." The crew that they have is good and will get better. Especially the actress that plays Quintana, Natassia Malthe. Lets just say this is a very unusual ally to have with the crew, but Quintana brings more to the story line besides her beauty. Her knowledge of the different Vampire clans is an ability that comes in quite handy if you saw the show. The crew has a job to pretty much clean up the mess that Earth started, by going to unknown worlds, only to find out they are mostly inhabited by vampires. I think the SiFi channel has hit with "Bloodsuckers" and I hope it stays around for awhile.
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5/10
Has a lot wrong with it, but I actually found it reasonably entertaining...
TheLittleSongbird4 June 2012
Okay, Bloodsuckers is not a good or great movie, or at least to me. If anything I found it decent and reasonably entertaining, especially compared to other low-budget movies I've seen recently. Bloodsuckers does actually have some note-worthy performances, Joe Lando, who was the best and only good thing about Meteor Apocalypse, is decent, Michael Ironside while underused does a nice job as the villain and Natassia Malthe, complete with a wardrobe that completely flatters her figure, is incredibly sexy and not too bad acting-wise either. The story is also an improvement, true it is predictable and not exactly original(apart from the interesting angle of vampire mind sex) but unlike most other low-budget movies I've recently seen it's actually engaging too, and I say the same thing about the action scenes and the gore. Where Bloodsuckers does fall down is with the rest of the cast aren't as good, either bland or irritating(Leanne Adachi manages to be both those things), the script is of rather cheesy quality, the human characters are stereotypical and not all of them are easy to identify with and the cheap effects for the vampires(who themselves as a whole lacked charisma and menace mostly). Overall, reasonably entertaining but one with many flaws. 5/10 Bethany Cox
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5/10
Goofy, Gory Low Budget Sci-Fi Fun
MetalGeek16 August 2010
I got this movie on a 4-film "Vampire Collector's Set" DVD under the title "Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe," though the opening credits of the actual film identify it as "Bloodsuckers," which quite frankly is a cooler (and less wordy) title. The movie itself was pretty much what I expected: a low budget B-film. Fortunately, I love stuff like this and "Vampire Wars"/"Bloodsuckers" turned out to be a surprisingly cool mish-mash of the horror, sci-fi and action genres, bolted together from parts of the "Blade" series, a little bit of "Firefly," and some "Aliens" as well.

The good news: it's the 23rd century and mankind has at last discovered humanoid life on other planets. The bad news: all of the humanoid life on those other planets is vampiric in nature and wants to eat us, prompting the creation of the "V-SAN" corporation (for "Vampire SANitation"), which sends out teams of bad-asses (think the Colonial Marines from "Aliens") from planet to planet weeding out vampire nests wherever they threaten humanity's interests. Damien Underwood is a newbie on a V-SAN crew who inherits the captain's chair after his commander becomes Vampire Chow early in the movie. He struggles to gain respect in his new role, despite his lack of command experience and the fact that most of his crew (including a redneck in a cowboy hat who predates Woody Harrelson's look in "Zombieland" by a few years, and a butch lesbo who recalls Cpl. Vazquez of "Aliens") blames him for the captain's demise. Fortunately, Underwood does have the support of one crew member -- Quintana, an amazingly hot vampire/human hybrid who reads minds, looks great in an "Underworld" style leather cat suit, and who can kick massive amounts of alien-vampire ass. This fearsome foursome travels to a space station in response to a distress signal, only to find the human population destroyed when they arrive. Turns out they've been lured there by a group of humans who have taken the vampires' side in the war, claiming that Earthlings are the real predatory creatures in the universe. Genre legend Michael Ironside makes a brief cameo, hamming it up in a quick-paycheck role as some sort of vampire overlord in cahoots with the turncoat humans, and eventually lots of big guns go off, and we get severed limbs and gore galore.

True "vampire" movie fans will probably hate this movie as this so-called "vamps" act more like zombies (i.e. they eat the flesh of their victims rather than drink their blood). They also tend to dress like biker-gang rejects from a "Mad Max" movie. It is interesting that there appear to be numerous types of vampire races in the Universe (one in-joke refers to two different races as "the Voorhees" and "the Leatherfaces") depending on what planet the V-SANS agents visit, causing me to wonder if this film was intended as the first in a series (or perhaps a TV series pilot -- I did notice that even though the film is quite violent and bloody, language is toned down and though I really hoped to see Quintana strip off that leather bodysuit, no such luck).

As with most of the movies on these "4 Film Collections" that I've seen, "Bloodsuckers/Vampire Wars" is worth viewing if you've got a taste for goofy, low-budget fare; those who prefer their horror on the more serious side can safely skip it.
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10/10
B-movie gem!
Nenko Genov17 September 2009
I must confess I was expecting something terrible. Honestly, do you believe that a movie called "Bloodsuckers" aka "Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe" can actually be good? And in general I'm not into vampires, but the sci-fi element here made me give it a try. I intended to fast forward it and just go through the scenes with the special effects. But after a couple of minutes I found myself actually enjoying it! It's a B-movie, no doubt about it, but it's quite above the average and I think it's worth watching if you have the chance (and if you're into such genres). The good things about it: - First of all, it has a script. It's not brilliant, but it's good enough, and it has a couple of one-liners, some really good character relationship moments, homage to classic horrors (like Leatherface and Voorhees vampires), and a fun ending. - Neat atmosphere. Feels like half-budget "Firefly" meets "Blade". - The cast is quite good and they're doing great with what they have - it's not heavy drama with great character depth, but they manage to give certain individuality to their characters. Having Michael Ironside as the villain was a surprise and a treat. - The CGI is low budget, but decent. The costumes and the sets as well. I think the art department did their best with what they had. - The soundtrack is quite good, there are nice rock tracks in it and the songs fit to the scenes. - This movie looks good! Good camera-work, which I think is rare these days in B-movies, they all tend to shake and zoom, trying to give some "reality" feel to it.

If you'd watch every once in a while something different than Oscar winners and summer blockbusters, and if you like sci-fi flicks, I encourage you to see this one.

I'm giving it 10/10 cause I think it deserves more than 4-something, which is it's current IMDb Rating. Otherwise, I think it's 6/10.
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6/10
Not the best, but certainly not the worst I've ever seen...
eyelyo19 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, I have to admit I was a little hesitant about watching a movie about alien vampires, but the overall outcome certainly exceeded my expectations. The acting was adequate in this level of cinema, and at a number of moments was rather funny. The CG wasn't distracting by any means and in fact helped to create a more convincing atmosphere. I could have probably done without the 'tantric vampire sex' scene, however amusing it was, and the end was not at all impressive. The concept was interesting, though, and I was surprised by the imagination put into some of these character backgrounds. All in all, worth at least one viewing by a horror buff, but not something I'd recommend for anyone but a hardcore b-film vampire enthusiast.
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4/10
Sucks more than just blood…
Coventry2 April 2007
Although it really isn't such a terribly movie (especially considering it was made directly for TV-distribution), it'll be very difficult to point out one aspect in "Bloodsuckers" that is actually original or refreshing. Vampires in space isn't exactly a new formula, and even after so many movies dealing with these monsters in this particular setting, still no one seems to realize it's an incredibly stupid premise that can't possibly result in a halfway decent horror movie. "Bloodsuckers" even goes one step further and shamelessly imitates every imaginable motion picture that either revolves on vampires and intergalactic warfare. The plot and characters are mainly stolen directly from John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars" and James Cameron's "Aliens", as a crew of futuristic vampire hunters are crusading through space and regularly holding to eliminate a mutated species that peculiarly named themselves after notorious horror icons, like the Voorhees and the Leatherfaces. The good guys are a bunch of pathetic stereotypes, constantly dealing with clichéd issues and endlessly arguing about dreadfully unimportant matters. Captain Damian is the unpopular rookie, who'll really have to prove his leadership capabilities now after being more or less responsible for the death of the previous (and far more loved) Captain Churchill. The other annoying characters include a typical cowboy-style and trigger happy macho pilot, a tough female warrior with more balls than any of the males on board (she's of Asian descent, like the girl in "Aliens" was Latino) and the army's most valuable secret weapon: a Blade-girl! Quintana is a beautiful and deadly vampire who chose the side of humans. She can spot enemies when they're still light-years away and she can also do wickedly sexy things with someone's wet dreams. They eventually all learn to work as a team when forced to face the ultimate vampire-meanie: Michael Ironside (in yet another downgrading role). "Bloodsuckers" is an irredeemably stupid film, but it manages to entertain as long as it features gory killings, infantile dialogs and OTT make-up effects. It only gets intolerably boring when the frustrated soldiers blame the captain for the umpteenth time and bla bla bla. This film is a non-stop series of lame clichés and uncreative ideas, but at least it's watchable.
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