I am aware that the film was shot on a shoestring budget, the actors are not experienced and the it was intended as a direct-to-video movie. Taking all these things into consideration, and going in with low expectations, the film was still terrible. One does not need experienced actors or a big budget in order to make a good film. Look at Gus Van Sants "Elephant," Kevin Smiths "Clerks." Okay i'm being trite, you can think of dozens of extremely low-budget films that were well-done, taking things into consideration. I'm in no way expecting Juney Smith to be Kevin Smith or Hal Hartley, but I was also not expecting him or anyone else to make this movie. I didn't think it was even possible. People have intentionally tried to make bad movies and they have not been as bad as this. If you hand a six-year old or a Troma film producer a camera, he or she will turn out something better than this.
I got to see this at the "premiere" at a small theater in NYC that probably rents out theaters for screenings such as this. Part of the film was shot at Gleasons Gym in Brooklyn, NY, where my sister happens to train. She was an extra in the film, so they invited her to see the film. Being a filmmaker myself, and taking budget constraints into consideration, I went in with an open mind.
The film is about a group of high school friends who live on the mean streets of, well some urban ghetto. One of them is an aspiring boxer, he has the usual slew of hoodish friends who bring him down. They come up with some plan to rob a potato chip factory. I'll give points for originality there. So they rob the place, almost get caught, have a chip-eating montage, and the main character is shot to death. It ends at his funeral, and then with a big title card, telling us to avoid a life of crime. If you were bothered by this spoiler, had any intentions on seeing this film, or are even reading this review because you were unfortunate enough to have stumbled upon this movie, than you deserve the film to be spoiled for you.
I got a chance to speak with the director afterward. I had to work really hard to avoid him asking any questions that would require me to lie while trying to keep a straight face while answering. I think I asked him what stock he used (it was obviously 16mm, shot poorly). Had I not have been promised refreshments afterward, I would have walked out. It turns out that all they had were cheese cubes (which had that i've been sitting out all day" dried/oily look) and those water crackers that come in five different variants per box. I felt like two hours of my life were wasted. I could not even take this film as a learning experience, as I already knew that this was not the way to make a movie. At no point did I see something that I have considered or ever considered putting in a movie. Therefore, i couldn't even say, "Well, I would NEVER do that!" I am quite confident in saying that anyone with half a brain cell would have known not to do anything that Juney Smith has done in this film. It is that bad.
The ONLY reason you should ever see this film, is if you need proof of the existence of Satan. This film will not only prove this but also make you believe that he rules the world. Or at least whatever production company it was that made this film.
In closing, the following are things you could do with your time instead of watching this film...
-have your tires rotated. -Find one of those video dealers who specialize in episodes of any show, and get episodes of "Still the Beaver." -Make invitations for a celebrity dress-up day at your work or school. -Make Kool-aid ice pops by filling ice-cube trays with kool-aid, covering with a sheet of wrap and putting a toothpick in each cube hole. -Have a "Problem Child" Marathon. -Sing "Amazing Grace" to any sitcom theme song tune of your choosing. -Chew broken glass.
Use your imagination. If ever you are given the opportunity to see this film, please don't. If you want to, you can spend your two hours writing me a thank-you letter. Although you will never really know if I was right or not, when you die and are at the gates of St. Peter, and he asks you if you have seen "Kickin' it High," you can say an honest "no," and not suffer eternal damnation.
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