Quotes
Müeller: It's my wife's favorite finger.
Share thisBarry: [Whilst holding a picture of Nelson Mandela] He's friends with Morgan Freeman!
Share thisTherman: I want you to say, "You can eat my pudding."
Share thisBarry: Vincent Van Gogh. Everyone said to him, "You can't be a great painter, you only have one ear." And you know what he said? "I can't hear you."
Share thisBarry: I know everything! I have laid eggs... *inside of your brain*!
Therman: Get them out of my head!
Barry: You are no longer in control of me! I control you,and you are under my power!
[whispering]
Barry: I know everything. And I release you!
Share thisKieran: Have you ever lived among a herd of goats, for months at a time, as one of them?
Barry: No.
Kieran: That surprises me.
Share thisBarry: So dare to dream. Dream your wildest dreams. You can climb the highest mountain. You can drown in a teacup, if you find a big enough teacup. And if somebody tells you that you can't do something, you say, 'Yes, I can. 'Cause I'm doing it right now!'
Share thisKieran: Sometimes I'll be working on a piece, and I'll think, "No, this is bullshit." So I will literally rub bull excrement on the piece as a metaphor.
Share thisBarry: OK, may I give you some advice too? Do not wear fishnets on New Year's Eve. It's too cold. When the wind blows, you gotta go with the hose.
Share thisBarry: Well, I try to look at the bright side. I guess you could say I'm an eternal optometrist.
Share thisBarry: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Unless you don't have any water or sugar. And then you just eat the lemons, and the rind will give you diarrhea.
Share thisBarry: Well, these people invited us here to make fun of us. This is a contest for the biggest idiot...
[holding up trophy]
Barry: which I nailed!
Share thisMarco - Blind Swordsman: I love to paint.
Davenport: Oh wow, are you any good?
Marco - Blind Swordsman: I don't know.
Share thisBarry: In the words of John Lennon, "you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not."
Tim: ...the only one.
Barry: The only what?
Tim: No, that's the lyric: "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
Barry: Oh, OK Tim.
Share thisJulie: Kieran, You remember Tim?
Kieran: [nods] ... the stock broker.
Tim: No, no. I work for a private equity firm that specializes in distressed assets.
Kieran: So, kind of a stock broker.
Tim: Almost nothing like a stock broker.
Share thisDarla: [seductively] I'm a naughty little schoolgirl...
Barry: You look a little old to be a schoolgirl.
Darla: I need to be punished. I cheated in class. Don't you want to be my school teacher?
Barry: I'm really not qualified I work for the IRS.
Darla: [winks] Not tonight...
Barry: No, all the time. I work...
Darla: Ok, ok! You work for the IRS and I have been very, very bad. I haven't paid my taxes and I need to be spanked, NOW!
Barry: Well, that's really not the way it works, you probably just have to pay the difference, plus interest...
Share thisTim: Any one of you would throw me under the bus for a bigger bonus, but Barry would throw himself under a car to protect a mouse... that was already dead.
Share thisBarry: He slept with Martha at my house! I was under the bed the whole time. What an idiot!
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