Edit
Feast (2005) Poster

(2005)

Quotes

Hero: Listen to me. A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are, I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry... and there's four of 'em. They got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. They're comin'... right now. So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windows, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it now. You! Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass, and get 'em out here. Any questions?

Bartender: Yeah. Who the hell are you?

Hero: I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass.

[a monster immediately reaches through the window and kills him]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[after trapping one of the creatures]

Bozo: We're okay.

[hears another creature growling]

Bozo: Scratch that.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Coach: Oh dear.

Honey Pie: What? What's he doing?

Bozo: They're humping!

Beer Guy: Aw man! The monsters are doing it doggy style.

Hot Wheels: Monster sex.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bartender: C'mon, I'll take you to your car.

Honey Pie: [as Coach steps up beside Honey Pie at the bar] Not tonight. I have an escort.

Bartender: That'll be eighteen bucks, pal.

Bartender: [Coach opens wallet to pay, wedding ring falls out. Honey Pie shoves him to the ground and walks off. Re: tab] Guess I'll just keep this open.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Honey Pie: [Notices Bozo and Hot Wheels have been watching her undress, wash blood off] Act like you've had some.

Bozo: Oh, I've had some, baby.

Hot Wheels: [voice cracking] I haven't.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Honey Pie: [Re: first monster trapped and killed] Jeez, it took all that? All those bullets?

Beer Guy: That's the LITTLE one? We can't fight these things! No way!

Heroine: We can still fight them. We just gotta be clever.

Coach: Maybe we don't have to fight them at all.

Bozo: Yeah, why don't we just call 'em names.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bozo: Any more ideas, Animal Planet?

Coach: I-I was just being proactive!

Bartender: Hey Dipshit, I didn't see you helpin' did I...

Bozo: Oh, go douche, Grandpa!

Beer Guy: What now?

Tuffy: We're stuck in here, that's what.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bozo: YOU!

Grandma: [Drunkenly] What?

Bozo: You know somethin'!

Grandma: Huh?

Bozo: You're old! You've seen things!

Grandma: I don't know a thing.

Bartender: Easy there...

Bozo: Back off me, whitey! I'm interrogating her.

Bozo: Old people know things, like legends and tall tales and shit.

Grandma: No... really... I don't...

Bozo: Come on! Spill it! Or I'll get rough!

Grandma: I don't know anything!

[Points to Bartender]

Grandma: Why don't you ask him? He's old!

Heroine: Relax. She doesn't know anything.

Bozo: Yeah... allegedly.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bozo: [Locked in bedroom as monster is coming through window] Okay! I'm ready to come out now!

Bartender: [Bartender fumbles outside with key; it breaks in the lock] Oh.

Bozo: [Panicking, rattling doorknob] OH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH"?

Coach: [Relatively calmly. i.e. oh, shit] Cheese and crackers.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Coach: [Both peering outside through secret hatch door in the dark basement] You know, you and I have a lot of similarities. Strong. Resolute...

Heroine: You need to be quiet.

Coach: I'm sorry. I talk when I'm nervous.

Heroine: Quiet.

Coach: It's just, it's been a while since someone's been horribly killed, and it seems like an opportune time for someone to be... well... offed.

Heroine: What did I say? Shh.

Coach: Sorry. I'm done now.

Coach: [Hoisting himself out the hatch door] Great men will tell of my bravery.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Coach: Whoa. Monster cock.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beer Guy: I think were gonna be okay, guys. Yeah, I think were gonna be alright. You know, this is just some leaky barrel, radiation, toxic dump waste, enviro-crap, freak-beast accident that crawled out of the sewer, man. That's all this is.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Coach: We got your front, bro.

Bozo: It's your back, we got your back.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page