The War of the Worlds (2005)

User Rating:

2.8/10   

Director:

Timothy Hines

Writers:

H.G. Wells (novel)
Timothy Hines (screenplay) ...

Genre:

Sci-Fi | Action | Drama | Horror | Thriller

Tagline:

We can't stop them

Plot:

Martians launch a deadly attack on Earth.

Plot Keywords:

English | 1900s | England | Poison Gas | Victorian Era

Cast

Anthony Piana	...	The Writer
Jack Clay	...	Ogilvy
James Lathrop	...	The Artilleryman
Darlene Sellers	...	Mrs. Elphinstone
John Kaufmann	...	The Curate
Jamie Lynn Sease	...	Miss Elphinstone
Susan Goforth	...	The Writer's Wife
W. Bernard Bauman	...	Henderson

Also Known As:

Classic War of the Worlds (International: English title) (recut version)
H.G. Wells' 'The War of the Worlds' (USA) (complete title)
The Great Boer War (USA) (fake working title)

MPAA:

Rated R for sci-fi violence/gore, language and brief nudity.

Runtime:

179 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Certification:

USA:Unrated (unrated)

Filming Locations:

Seattle, Washington, USA

Company:

Pendragon Pictures

Trivia:

Timothy Hines and Pendragon Pictures settled their claim with Dark Horse Comics concerning Pendragon's accusation that Dark Horse plagiarized the designs in their film for a graphic novel comic book.

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: The Union Jack flag on the Thunderchild is shown blowing towards the wind as the ship speeds towards the Martian war machine instead of being blown back.

Movie Connections:

Version of War of the Worlds (2005) (V)

This may indeed be the worst movie ever created

Normally when I write a review for a movie online, it is for one of three reasons. Either, I have found something exceptionally lacking in a film that otherwise would have been excellent, I feel that the public's perception of a film before viewing it is inaccurate for a number of reasons, or I believe that the purpose or message of a film needs to be clarified or explained with the help of other reviewers. While all of these reasons may appear to be somewhat negative, I find that writing a review that lavishes nothing but praise and statements such as, "This is one of the best films of all time!", does nothing to enlighten a potential viewer on its merits and downsides, nor does it often give reasoning as to why a movie is so good, which should be the point of the review in the first place. With that being said, War of the Worlds is nothing more than a hurried, incompetent attempt at a money grab; piggy-backing its loathsome carcass on the multi-million dollar advertising campaign of the film of the same name directed by Steven Spielberg. Many people will buy this DVD in anticipation of the summer blockbuster and many more poor souls will buy it looking for more material on the same subject. This movie is not even "so bad" that it becomes funny or endearing, rather the audience will be so unbelievably disappointed as to reach the point of anger. Now with most of the insults out of the way, allow me to give some arguments as a warning to those more fortunate than I.

Judging from the cover and the lack of any publicity for this film (I found it as SAM's Club for 8 bucks), I assumed that the cast would be no-names and that the special effects would be nothing too spectacular. Check. This is not a big deal for me, as I find a large budget and an over-reliance on big name stars and SE can diminish an otherwise decent movie. I also did not expect to be blown away by great dialog or a moving score. Check again. What I did hope for was an actual serious attempt at a classic theme and a few alien/battle scenes.

Now, as per IMDb's policy any spoilers must be announced in advance, no matter how small, so here is fair warning. The movie opens with a lot of inane small-talk, followed by a trip to an observatory to look at a red dot. Seriously, it is a pictures of a red dot in a tube. It is very hard to describe every little issue in depth, but by the end of the first ten minutes, the combination of shaky camera-work, spliced scenes, and a LOT of walking begin to frustrate the viewer. However, the costuming is surprisingly not bad and the hope that the pods will reveal something mysterious keeps you going. The next 30 minutes basically go as follows: one of the main characters walks to one of the pods, he looks at the pods and talks to another main character about looking at the pod and it may be hot. They both walk back to town. These walks aren't two seconds or added so that dialog may be exchanged. They are twenty seconds or more and are there simply to add filler to an already bloated three hour movie. In a particularly grueling scene, the main character is shown looking at a pod, then he is shown pacing and panting, then he looks at the pod, then he takes a one minute walk through a field to town, then comes in to town and walks into a building, then he has a cup of coffee and says "Thank you Mary" to a random maid that serves him coffee, then he puts down the coffee and walks out the building, then he walks a minutes through the field and back to the pod. I apologize for the extreme run-on sentence, but it is perhaps the best way to summarize this entire film. Characters speak way too long about mundane things, they walk a lot, they send other people to walk, the camera fluctuates between high speed and slow speed, but for no dramatic effect, simply the camera man is a sophomore at Tech somewhere. The editing is mind-bogglingly bad. People actions make little sense. For instance, when the professor goes to a farmer's house and says that he needs the farmer to give him a ride to town, the farmer stutters and paces around. When the professor says that there is a pod and that men might be trapped inside, the farmer locks him in a shed only to see the professor grab a pitchfork and open the weak shed a second later. Nothing of any consequence of course comes from this entire scene, as the professor runs into the main character a moment later so they can begin their afternoon walk. The entire film feels as if someone at one point had a good idea about making a film, but absolutely no idea how to put that in motion. I have seen better high school video productions. Finally, the special effects are laughable and do nothing to advance the story. I get the feeling that the director really wanted this film to become somewhat of a cult classic of campy garbage. However, it is so awful in technical aspects, and in sheer common sense that it only makes people mad. Avoid this film at all costs.