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Balls of Fury (2007) Poster

(2007)

Quotes

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: I'm from the FBI.

Randy Daytona: Whoa man. I didn't mean to kill that guy. How was I supposed to know he had a bad heart?

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: Hey. I'm not here for that. I thought that was part of the act. Until the paramedics came I was laughing my ass off.

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Gary: [the building is about to self destruct] I'm gonna save the panda!

[runs offscreen]

Gary: Ahhh!

[runs back on screen]

Gary: Panda's dead!

[runs away]

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Master Wong: Welcome to the underbelly of ping-pong where fortunes are won and lost. I'm exaggerating, of course, but you get my point.

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Master Wong: It is better to die like a tiger, than to live like a pussy.

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Feng: [inviting Randy on a private tour] I won't bite... not anywhere that'll show.

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Feng: Represent.

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Feng: What part of "sudden death" didn't you understand?

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Feng: Less talkie-talkie, more ping-pong.

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Master Wong: Ping Pong... is not the macarena. It takes patience. She is like a fine, well-aged prostitute... it takes years to learn her tricks.

[chuckles]

Master Wong: She is cruel, laughs at you when you are naked, but you keep coming back for more, and more! Why? Because she is the only prostitute I can afford.

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Randy Daytona: [as The Hammer keeps making weird hand gestures] I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: I'm still trying to figure out if it's a dude or a chick.

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Master Wong: Maggie! Your temper brings dishonor to my happy mushu palace.

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Karl Wolfschtagg: Daytona, I have said some cruel things about you. To my friends here at the tournament, I tell them that the reason that you hate me so much, is because I had sex with your mother.

Randy Daytona: My mother died when I was two. I hardly knew her.

Karl Wolfschtagg: Yeah I know it's a horrible thing to say. And yet these things that I say over and over again... I do not mean them. Because in truth, you are the greatest player I have ever scene. Other than myself, practicing in front of a mirror. Which I do... everyday... in the nude. I'm sorry for you, that your papa is not here to see you. I think he would be very proud of you.

Randy Daytona: Yeah.

Karl Wolfschtagg: So proud of you, that he would probably bet the money on you again. I could use the cash! Haha. Tell your dead parents I said "What's Up?"

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Asian Guy With Gun: [when Randy first arrives at his room] Hello, can I interest you in some Altoids, or some Axe Body Spray?

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Karl Wolfschtagg: [after stepping on Randy's paddle] Whoops. Clumsy clumsy hippos.

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Feng: Stop! This is Boring! Kill them Both! We're missing Antiques Roadshow!

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Karl Wolfschtagg: You are so close to defeat that it already reeks of your cheap cologne.

Master Wong: [smirks] The joke's on you, pretty boy. It's not cologne, it's lady speed stick.

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Maggie Wong: [in Chinese] Focus on your balls not my boobs!

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Randy Daytona: Never hug a man with a million bucks worth of hardware up his crack. Whew!

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Maggie Wong: I'm trying to sacrifice my life for our love. Stop being such a dick!

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Karl Wolfschtagg: So, we meet again. The years have not been kind to you; I will not be either.

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Feng: Ping pong, or as the Chinese say: "Ping pong".

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Feng: Turning his Protege to the Dark Side...! A real Kodak Moment, don't you think?

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Feng: Ladies and Gentlemen. Athletes. I bid you Toodles.

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Randy Daytona: [sees a man standing up] Hey, a volunteer! How you doing buddy?

[takes his ping pong ball and paddle and starts bouncing the ball of the guy's face]

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [as Randy is bouncing the ball of his face] I was just going for more Cheese 'n Mac.

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [Randy keeps bouncing the ball of his face and then his stomach. The guy trys to protect himself with his plate but can't] Stop!

Randy Daytona: [finally catches the ball] Hoooooooeeeeeee! A-thank you!

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [collapses from a heart attack]

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Person in crowd: You suck!

Karl Wolfschtagg: Hey, that stings. Come on who said that?

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Feng: Sports, members, bandits alike.

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Feng: Please! These are Collectors' Items! Well, some of them are replicas. But still, they're Limited Edition Replicas!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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