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A Tuna Christmas (TV Movie 1996) Poster

(1996 TV Movie)

Quotes

[Arles is reading the news over the radio]

Arles Struvie: In international news today, Christmas violence flares, leaving thousands dead in Mag... Mada... Madg... Hell, I can't even pronounce the name of the place.

Thurston Wheelis: Must be way off.

Arles Struvie: Well folks, they must be foreigners, so never mind!

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Vera Carp: [to her unseen maid] Lupe, darling, do you know where are el freezer bags, por favor?

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Bertha Bumiller: Charlene, Stanley get down here this instant or I'm going to put on the Andy Williams Chrismas albumn.

Jodie Bumiller: Mama... you said you wouldn't play that record this year.

Bertha Bumiller: Honey, your father promised not to miss another Christmas... Hitler promised to stop at CZECHOSLOVAKIA!

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Didi Snavely: [Yelling out the door at the Sherif] Hey... HEY, If you so much as lay one finger on my files you'll be scratchin' your ass with a STUMP for the rest of your life!

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DiDi Snavely: Remember our motto at Didi's used weapons, if we can't kill it, it's immortal.

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Pearl Burras: I haven't had a gun in my house since I accidentally killed my second husband.

Didi Snavely: 's that the sleepwalker...

Pearl Burras: Well, he should have told somebody!

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Pearl Burras: I haven't had a gun in my house since I accidentally killed my second husband.

Didi Snavely: 's that the sleepwalker...

Pearl Burras: Well, he should have told me that!

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Elmer Watkins: This is Elmer Watkins from Klan 249 inviting you all to our annual Christmas Party and Skeet Shoot. Our theme this year is the Whitest Christmas Ever.

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Didi Snavely: This is Didi Snavely for Didi's used weapons. Heaven forbid during this joyous season that you should be the victim of a holiday robbery. But wouldn't you rather shoot somebody than watch'em run off with your new toaster oven? I know I would. Didi's Used Weapons has weapons for the car, the home, and the workplace. At Didi's Used Weapons you'll have a Holly Jolly Christmas, and the criminal will have a Silent Night!

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Bertha Bumiller: Stanley, damnit, don't cuss on Christmas!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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