Edit
Hard Candy (2005) Poster

(2005)

Quotes

Jeff Kohlver: Fuck off.

Hayley Stark: Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.

Jeff Kohlver: Look. I'm not the monster you think I am. But, okay, I crossed a line. Just call the cops. I'll turn myself in.

Hayley Stark: [as if narrating a headline] Cute Pedophile Pleads Guilty.

[speaking as a defense attorney]

Hayley Stark: "Aww, it's not his fault. He's sick. He has an addiction."

Jeff Kohlver: I'll do jail. Isn't, isn't that what should happen?

Hayley Stark: Yeah. You might. You might get jail time. I dunno: therapy, drugs, group discussions, notifying people when you move into a new house. How bad is that, really?

Jeff Kohlver: It'll ruin my career, ruin my life.

Hayley Stark: Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?

Jeff Kohlver: Is this some kind of teenage joke?

Hayley Stark: Teenage? Yeah. Joke? No.

Jeff Kohlver: Who the hell are you?

Hayley Stark: I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

Hayley Stark: Torture? Is this torture to you? Because wow, I guess you've never read anything about Amnesty International or Human Rights Watch, because this... this is nothing.

Hayley Stark: Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.

Jeff Kohlver: Ah, so you and your mom are both wacked?

Hayley Stark: I dunno. There's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that...

Jeff Kohlver: You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.

Hayley Stark: Oh? Oh, and how's that?

Jeff Kohlver: If you cut me in any way, you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.

Hayley Stark: Oh, and you speak from experience, I guess.

Jeff Kohlver: I've just lived. Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.

Hayley Stark: Tell me what you're haunted by.

Jeff Kohlver: Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? On your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you, you will. Don't do that to yourself.

Hayley Stark: Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side, saying, "Stop, don't do that to yourself." Would you have listened? "Stop. Don't do that to yourself."

Jeff Kohlver: You were coming on to me!

Hayley Stark: Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.

Jeff Kohlver: Who?

Hayley Stark: Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does.

[pause]

Hayley Stark: I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!' You take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!

Hayley Stark: [accepting cookie delivery] Uncle Jeff loves his Girl Scouts.

Hayley Stark: Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?

Jeff Kohlver: I'd say, "Help... a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police."

Hayley Stark: This is what they make those federal laws for, Jeff. This is officially sick.

Jeff Kohlver: What the fuck are you doing?

Hayley Stark: That's kind of been my question, Jeff. What the FUCK are you doing? Living in a house filled with pictures of half naked teenage girls. Oh, none of whom you've ever done it with.

Jeff Kohlver: HELP! HELP! HELP!

[Hayley sprays a liquid in Jeff's mouth to silence him]

Hayley Stark: [moving Jeff closer to her] There's really no point in me taking any risks, Jeff. Technically I could let you scream your fucking brains out and no one is gonna hear you. Yeah, I waited till today because Mr Coflin is at work and the Krascos, they're vacationing in Santa Barbara. Still, I can't have some pedestrian just happening by as you're screaming so SHUT UP or next time, it's gonna be bleach, okay?

Jeff Kohlver: You've been stalking me?

Hayley Stark: Ok, ok, let's get something straight. YOU have been stalking me. I went into different chat rooms with different nicknames and you would get to know each one. And as soon as you found out they were any but older than me you would just drop them like that. You took your time sniffing out someone my age.

Jeff Kohlver: I didn't talk to the others because they were boring. You and I connected.

Hayley Stark: [nodding sarcastically] Right.

Jeff Kohlver: Oh, come on, you think I faked all that?

Hayley Stark: You know, actually, it's kinda funny. Because every time I would mention some obscure singer or band, you knew so much about them. But not right away, it was like a few minutes later. Maybe enough time to look them up on the web? Jeff, you used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as they do on Amazon.com. Busted! Oh and by the way, I fucking hate Goldfrapp.

Hayley Stark: I guess they, uh, weren't brass.

Jeff Kohlver: Those letters are mine.

Hayley Stark: Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.

Hayley Stark: I'm reading this books about Jean Seberg.

[looks at Jeff, who shakes his head]

Hayley Stark: She's this actress who slept with all the wrong people and ended up killing herself.

Jeff Kohlver: [while tied down to a chair] Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile.

Jeff Kohlver: [talking at the same time as Hayley answers him back] Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!

Hayley Stark: Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.

Jeff Kohlver: And when will that be?

Hayley Stark: I'm not sure yet.

Hayley Stark: [holding up a picture] Why is this girl so special? Huh? Why does she get to keep her clothes on?

Jeff Kohlver: [Jeff shakes his head weakly as he awakes from a drug induced stupor] Why, uhh, why do I get, tied up first if, if this is how we're gonna play?

Hayley Stark: Jeff, play time is over... Now its time to wake up.

Hayley Stark: This is officially sick.

Hayley Stark: You know, maybe it's this whole camera thing! Cameras, computers... they let you hide, don't they? So safe...

[sighs]

Hayley Stark: I heard how your voice changed when the camera came between us.

Jeff Kohlver: My voice changed because I felt sick, because you drugged me.

Hayley Stark: I shouldn't have teased you. I shouldn't have made you think there was a way out of this.

Hayley Stark: Seriously. It turns out that castration is like the easiest surgical procedure around, and thousands of farm boys across the country guild their own livestock. So I figured, if they can do it, then I can pull it off, if you know what I mean.

Jeff Kohlver: I'm not fucking livestock.

Hayley Stark: You keep telling yourself that, stud.

Hayley Stark: [finishing castration] I wonder why they teach Girl Scouts things like camping and selling cookies. You know? 'Cause this is what's really useful. I don't know how they'd design a merit badge though. That'd be interesting.

Hayley Stark: I fucking hate Goldfrapp.

Hayley Stark: You really just don't look like kind of guy who needs to meet girls over the internet.

Jeff Kohlver: Well, I think it's better to meet people online first, sometimes. You get to know what they're like inside. When you work as a photographer you find out real quick peoples faces lie.

Hayley Stark: Does my face lie?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jeff Kohlver: Which do you wanna fuck first, me or the knife?

[as Hayley raises gun]

Jeff Kohlver: Oh you know how to use that huh?

Hayley Stark: [cocks the gun] Honors student, remember? Nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it.

Jeff Kohlver: What? You're gonna shoot me? Shoot me! SHOOT ME! You're not gonna shoot me!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jeff Kohlver: Well you look older than you are and you certainly act older than you are.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jeff Kohlver: I never touched you. I was trying to hold you off me, while I called the cops.

Hayley Stark: Oh.

[Picks up the photo of the missing girl, Donna Mauer, and holds it for him to see]

Hayley Stark: And would you have shown them this? Why do you have a picture of Donna Mauer in your safe? And, and, well, have you seen her? Because no one else has!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jeff Kohlver: Why don't you just kill me?

Hayley Stark: Is that what you think I want?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hayley Stark: You used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as they use on Amazon.com. Busted!

[first lines]

Hayley Stark: Mmm. This is soo good. I want more.

Jeff Kohlver: Don't get greedy.

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page