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Hard Candy (2005) Poster

(2005)

Quotes

Jeff Kohlver: Look. I'm not the monster you think I am. But, okay, I crossed a line. Just call the cops. I'll turn myself in.

Hayley Stark: [as if narrating a headline] Cute Pedophile Pleads Guilty.

[speaking as a defense attorney]

Hayley Stark: "Aww, it's not his fault. He's sick. He has an addiction."

Jeff Kohlver: I'll do jail. Isn't, isn't that what should happen?

Hayley Stark: Yeah. You might. You might get jail time. I dunno: therapy, drugs, group discussions, notifying people when you move into a new house. How bad is that, really?

Jeff Kohlver: It'll ruin my career, ruin my life.

Hayley Stark: Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?

Jeff Kohlver: Fuck off.

Hayley Stark: Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.

Hayley Stark: Torture? Is this torture to you? Because wow, I guess you've never read anything about Amnesty International or Human Rights Watch, because this... this is nothing.

Jeff Kohlver: You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.

Hayley Stark: Oh? Oh, and how's that?

Jeff Kohlver: If you cut me in any way, you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.

Hayley Stark: Oh, and you speak from experience, I guess.

Jeff Kohlver: I've just lived. Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.

Hayley Stark: Tell me what you're haunted by.

Jeff Kohlver: Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? On your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you, you will. Don't do that to yourself.

Hayley Stark: Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side, saying, "Stop, don't do that to yourself." Would you have listened? "Stop. Don't do that to yourself."

Jeff Kohlver: Is this some kind of teenage joke?

Hayley Stark: Teenage? Yeah. Joke? No.

Hayley Stark: Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.

Jeff Kohlver: Ah, so you and your mom are both wacked?

Hayley Stark: I dunno. There's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that...

Hayley Stark: Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?

Jeff Kohlver: I'd say, "Help... a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police."

Hayley Stark: I'm reading this books about Jean Seberg.

[looks at Jeff, who shakes his head]

Hayley Stark: She's this actress who slept with all the wrong people and ended up killing herself.

Jeff Kohlver: [while tied down to a chair] Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile.

Jeff Kohlver: [talking at the same time as Hayley answers him back] Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!

Hayley Stark: Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.

Jeff Kohlver: And when will that be?

Hayley Stark: I'm not sure yet.

Jeff Kohlver: Who the hell are you?

Hayley Stark: I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

Jeff Kohlver: You were coming on to me!

Hayley Stark: Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.

Jeff Kohlver: Who?

Hayley Stark: Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does.

[pause]

Hayley Stark: I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!' You take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!

Jeff Kohlver: [Jeff shakes his head weakly as he awakes from a drug induced stupor] Why, uhh, why do I get, tied up first if, if this is how we're gonna play?

Hayley Stark: Jeff, play time is over... Now its time to wake up.

Hayley Stark: This is officially sick.

Hayley Stark: You know, maybe it's this whole camera thing! Cameras, computers... they let you hide, don't they? So safe...

[sighs]

Hayley Stark: I heard how your voice changed when the camera came between us.

Jeff Kohlver: My voice changed because I felt sick, because you drugged me.

Jeff Kohlver: What the fuck are you doing?

Hayley Stark: That's kind of been my question, Jeff. What the FUCK are you doing? Living in a house filled with pictures of half naked teenage girls. Oh, none of whom you've ever done it with.

Jeff Kohlver: HELP! HELP! HELP!

[Hayley sprays a liquid in Jeff's mouth to silence him]

Hayley Stark: [moving Jeff closer to her] There's really no point in me taking any risks, Jeff. Technically I could let you scream your fucking brains out and no one is gonna hear you. Yeah, I waited till today because Mr Coflin is at work and the Krascos, they're vacationing in Santa Barbara. Still, I can't have some pedestrian just happening by as you're screaming so SHUT UP or next time, it's gonna be bleach, okay?

Hayley Stark: I shouldn't have teased you. I shouldn't have made you think there was a way out of this.

Hayley Stark: You really just don't look like kind of guy who needs to meet girls over the internet.

Jeff Kohlver: Well, I think it's better to meet people online first, sometimes. You get to know what they're like inside. When you work as a photographer you find out real quick peoples faces lie.

Hayley Stark: Does my face lie?

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Hayley Stark: I guess they, uh, weren't brass.

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Jeff Kohlver: Those letters are mine.

Hayley Stark: Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.

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Jeff Kohlver: Which do you wanna fuck first, me or the knife?

[as Hayley raises gun]

Jeff Kohlver: Oh you know how to use that huh?

Hayley Stark: [cocks the gun] Honors student, remember? Nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it.

Jeff Kohlver: What? You're gonna shoot me? Shoot me! SHOOT ME! You're not gonna shoot me!

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Jeff Kohlver: Well you look older than you are and you certainly act older than you are.

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Hayley Stark: I fucking hate Goldfrapp.

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[first lines]

Hayley Stark: Mmm. This is soo good. I want more.

Jeff Kohlver: Don't get greedy.

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Hayley Stark: This is what they make those federal laws for, Jeff. This is officially sick.

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Hayley Stark: [holding up a picture] Why is this girl so special? Huh? Why does she get to keep her clothes on?

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Jeff Kohlver: I never touched you. I was trying to hold you off me, while I called the cops.

Hayley Stark: Oh.

[Picks up the photo of the missing girl, Donna Mauer, and holds it for him to see]

Hayley Stark: And would you have shown them this? Why do you have a picture of Donna Mauer in your safe? And, and, well, have you seen her? Because no one else has!

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Jeff Kohlver: Why don't you just kill me?

Hayley Stark: Is that what you think I want?

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Hayley Stark: You used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as they use on Amazon.com. Busted!

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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