3 September 2004
Having locked herself out of her flat and spent the night sleeping in her car, Dr Caroline Todd arrives to start work at East Hampton hospital, smelling "like the inside of a taxi". Anaesthesist Guy Secretan offers her a bed at his flat - where she has an embarrassing experience in the toilet - but based on the hopes she would sleep with him, which she turns down, so he spends the night on the sofa. Elsewhere down trodden house officer Martin goes on the Internet to see if his old classmates have had worse careers than himself and hospital administrator Joanna Clore has fun with a vibrating bed.
Season 1, Episode 2: Rumours10 September 2004
After spending the night at Guy's flat Caroline is aware that he will try and tell everybody that they has sex. Listening to a conversation between Guy's half-brother Dr Martin Dear and his friend Boycie she learns that Guy's middle name is Valery and considers using it to blackmail him though it proves unnecessary when his affair with liaison officer Sue White is made known. Mac,the insouciant surgeon,learns that his ex-girlfriend Holly is getting married whilst Joanna feels that radiologist Alan,with whom she is having a sort of affair,is getting too clinging.
Season 1, Episode 3: Lodgers17 September 2004
Caroline advertises for a lodger. Most of the applicants are unsuitable but she finds them preferable to Angela,the registrar,who is house-hunting. She tries to keep it from Angela but Boycie lets it slip and Angela becomes Caroline's lodger anyway. Alan feels that Joanna is falling for Lynton,the IT manager and Mac is surprised to learn that Holly,who never wanted children,is pregnant.
24 September 2004
It is Joanna's forty-eighth birthday and she is thrilled to receive a locket,which she is told is from Lyndon. However it is actually from Alan and contains his semen. Martin is also anxious to relay birthday greetings to his mother but has trouble getting through to her. Caroline and Angela find Guy's list of the most fanciable women on Green Wing and Caroline is annoyed to find Angela placed above her. She plans revenge but is thwarted when Mac and other male staff threaten to tell Guy all the unflattering things she has said about him. Martin finally gets to wish happy birthday to his mother - Joanna,who is rather anxious to keep her maternity secret.
1 October 2004
Caroline is throwing a house-warming party and is scared that nobody will turn up. Joanna dyes her hair blonde to attract Lyndon but is abducted by Alan,who takes her to the park,where they have sex. Caroline's party actually goes very well with all the staff turning up. Administrative worker Karen makes an unsuccessful play for Martin whilst a tipsy Caroline ends up kissing Mac,Martin,Guy - and Sue White.
Season 1, Episode 6: Tests8 October 2004
Whilst Caroline tries to remember what happened at her party Mac fails an interview for promotion and Martin has to sit his exams for the hundredth time. After having sex with Alan Joanna worries that she is pregnant and goes for a test but her results are confused with those of Harriet from Human Resources,who is pregnant - again. Alan is relieved when the truth is explained but Joanna dumps him anyway,causing him to steal a milk float in his anger.
15 October 2004
Caroline is torn between her affections for both Mac and Guy and,whilst she takes an afternoon off with Guy - who is getting ready for the World Guyball semi-finals - she comes to appreciate that Mac is the man for her. This is made all the more so when Martin,too nervous to look at his exam results,is told by Guy that he has passed when in fact he has failed once more,leading to animosity between Mac and Guy. Alan seeks comfort in religion,or,more especially,Cordelia,the hospital chaplain.
22 October 2004
The hospital holds a charity slave auction with Caroline,Lyndon,Alan and Guy among the slaves. Mac was due to enter but drops out - when he learns Sue is bidding for him - and announces that he is taking a consultancy job in Sheffield with Emmy,the physiotherapist as his new girlfriend. an embittered Sue buys Guy but makes pretend to be Mac,Boycie buys Alan for thirty pence and they end up in bed together whilst Joanna buys Lyndon but he dumps her after telling her he finds her disturbing. Martin buys Caroline for thirty thousand pounds but ruins their date when he believes that treating her badly will impress her.
Season 1, Episode 9: Emergency29 October 2004
As Mac prepares to leave with Emmy, a besotted Caroline aims to get him to stay by unmasking Emmy as a impostor. In fact it is a different person with the same name but Emmy is angry and dumps Mac,who at last ends up with Caroline. Martin,tired of Guy's bullying,opens his post only to find that they are half-brothers and that Joanna is their mother. Unaware of this Mac challenges Guy that he will not have sex with Joanna. As Guy is making a video of his session with Joanna as proof Martin comes to tell him the revelation,causing an irate Guy to stab him in the leg with Botox. Guy then takes an ambulance and drives off with Mac and Martin,ending up perched on the edge of a cliff.
31 March 2006
The new series kicks off with the discovery that Mac has been in a coma since the accident. Guy tries to get reinstated and ends up getting banned from seeing Mac. Sue White takes advantage of Mac in his comatose state. Caroline is distraught when Mac wakes up with no recollection of the day of the accident, or of their relationship.
7 April 2006
Caroline discovers Mac's top five characteristics for a woman, and proceeds to show him how like his ideal woman she is. It backfires rather disastrously, however. Meanwhile, Martin takes drastic measures to avoid seeing Karen and Alan Statham takes equally drastic measures to prove to Joanna that he is over her.
14 April 2006
An intoxicated Guy hands the very incriminating tape over to a priest, but it turns up in the possession of Sue White, who proceeds to use it to blackmail both Guy and Joanna. Guy convinces Mac that he had an ongoing argument with Caroline before the accident. Martin attempts to break up with Karen.
21 April 2006
Alan Statham finally gets a car! However, he is distressed when he discovers that he only gets parking priority over a skip. Guy's search for a new apartment does not go particularly well, so he is forced to consider sharing. The bad luck for Guy continues this episode, when he has to do his community service, which results in his teaching children the concept of "Guyball". Sue White discovers there is more to Martin than meets the eye, and Caroline and Mac's relationship appears to be developing well. That is, until a spanner shows up, in the shape of his former girlfriend Holly.
28 April 2006
Mac discovers that he has a son,Mackenzie,by Holly,about which she has never previously told him. When Caroline finds out she seeks comfort with Guy,after fighting off the attentions of complementary therapist Jake,and ends up kissing him,which she enjoys. Alan decides to stand for local elections with Boycie as his campaign manager whilst Martin accidentally becomes a pimp and gets threatened by a full-time one. Joanna is still after Lyndon,who is transferring his affections to Harriet.
5 May 2006
Caroline leaves a message on Mac's answer phone to say she thinks it was a mistake to end their relationship but it is intercepted and erased by Holly. Caroline goes on a date with Jake but a jealous Guy stabs him with his keys. Alan is overjoyed to have won 100% of the - miniscule - vote for the best online caption in a competition and Joanna,irritated by his attitude,sends her dwarf cousin to scare him - with terrifying consequences. Harriet dumps Lyndon out of guilt whilst Martin discovers his real father is one Donald Twat but Joanna prevents them from meeting.
12 May 2006
Sue White gets a new toy to irritate the staff with, a dummy. Statham kills Joanna's dwarf cousin with a stuffed bird. Martin wins it big on scratch cards but then doesn't know what to do with the money. Sue White snoops in Holly's locker and finds ginger hair dye and a photo which she wraps up as a shocking gift for Mac. Mac finds out news that he never expected.
19 May 2006
Having disposed of the dead dwarf Joanna and Alan escape in a stolen camper van. A suspicious Martin sneaks on board and falls asleep but when he wakes up he finds the van is perched on the same cliff edge as Guy, Mac and Martin were in the previous series. Caroline expects Mac to propose to her and says yes,even though he has said nothing. Hearing that a man is waiting for her on the railway station she expects it to be Mac but when it turns out to be Guy and he proposes she accepts.
The staff are seen at a funeral, which would appear to be Mac's but is actually that of Angela, killed in a hunting accident with a moose. Rescued by Martin from falling over the cliff Alan and Joanna go on the run, accidentally killing three people in an inadvertent crime spree before deciding to commit suicide by walking into the sea. With Joanna gone the administrative staff start to run riot but find a new 'mummy' in Harriet. Caroline overhears Mac telling Guy that he only has a matter of weeks to live and so she transfers her affections from Guy and marries Mac, despite his terminal condition. At the wedding she is last seen floating away clutching a fistful of helium balloons.
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