5.7/10
24,391
238 user 227 critic

Hatchet (2006)

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When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.

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Writer:

6 wins & 1 nomination. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Ben
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Doug Shapiro
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Jenna (as Joleigh Fioreavanti)
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Jim Permatteo
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Shannon Permatteo
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Ainsley
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John Carl Buechler ...
Jack Cracker (as John Buechler)
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Storyline

A motley crew of tourists embark on a boat ride of the haunted Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend "Victor Crowley"; a horribly disfigured man who was tragically and accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when the boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be real, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives...and all of their pieces. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Plot Keywords:

bayou | boat | swamp | tour | louisiana | See All (72) »

Taglines:

Terror Goes Old School See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, sexual content, nudity and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Official Sites:

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Release Date:

2 April 2010 (Italy)  »

Also Known As:

A balta  »

Box Office

Budget:

$1,500,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

(uncut) | (Premium movie channel) | (European Film Market)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

During the flashback scene, Thomas Crowley is seen accidentally hitting his son in the face with a hatchet. Crowley is played by Kane Hodder, and this scene (and type of weapon) is an obvious nod to Hodder's most famous role, as Jason in Friday the 13th. See more »

Goofs

It's raining in one scene but not in the next, several times throughout the movie (also pointed out by the director in the DVD commentary). See more »

Quotes

Misty: [on hearing the legend of Victor Crowley from a local] Do you believe that story she told us?
Shapiro: Absolutely not. The people around here sleep exclusively with their own family.
Misty: Eww!
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Connections

Referenced in Afterschool (2008) See more »

Soundtracks

This Is The New Shit
Written by John Lowery, Tim L.K. Skold, and Brian Warner
Performed by Marilyn Manson
Courtesy of EMI and Chrysalis Music o/b/o GTR HACK Music
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Unwatchable! I almost walked out.
30 December 2010 | by (Southern California) – See all my reviews

There is nothing about Hatchet that I can recommend. It is a completely incoherent mess and a waste of time.

Hatchet doesn't even work as a movie that's so bad it's entertaining (ala Plan 9). It's an empty suit. There's no continuity of story or character. This is just Adam Green with a camera making up stuff as he goes along. A professional script editor would have been a huge help and a good idea.

Tony Todd (from the movie Candyman) has a scene at the beginning of the movie that is a perfect example of why Adam Green has no business going near a movie set. Green clearly has no vision, and has no idea whether he wants Todd to be funny or scary. The result is that he's neither. It looks like Green was both afraid to direct Todd and just making stuff up on the spot for Todd to say. The result is a waste of talent.

None of Green's characters are sympathetic. None of the characters display any virtues that would make the audience care whether that person lives or dies. Because Green is just making up stuff as he goes, the personality and values of the characters change from minute to minute. The result is that you just don't care about any of these people, and as a result you just don't care about this movie.

When it comes to the legend of Victor Crowley, there's no process of discovery for the audience. The legend is recited, several times, each is slightly different. Each version becomes more tedious. Again, it's painfully obvious this stuff is being made up as they go along.

I went to a premiere in Hollywood, which opened and closed with Adam Green giving profanity laced speeches about why his movie was better than anything else being shown. He claimed that he alone was the savior of horror. How dare Eli Roth make a sequel to Hostel! Sequels are for unoriginal losers! (Green is of course hoping to make a Hatchet sequel) Most importantly, whenever Hatchet gets shown anywhere it means that any one of thousands of better independent movies, including independent horror movies, was not seen. If you have a choice of watching this movie or watching nothing, watch nothing.


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