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|Index||20 reviews in total|
S10 Rating: * * 'Cerberus' is a pretty typical SciFi Channel presentation. An interesting premise of the infamous mythical three-headed dog protecting a sword that render the possessor invincibility. The sword was used bu Attila the Hun so that explains his conquering of the little people of his time. As usually a nefarious scheme is hatched by an equally nefarious madman who then sends some mercenaries to grab the little party favor. Of course the lead merc enjoys his taste of power and commences to do his thing while the good guys and girl deal with the dog and now the greedy merc turned madman. Oh the joys of paint-by-numbers made-for-TV cinema. The acting was ho-hum and the direction is plain. The effects were bad as you'd expect but for whatever reason I found it still watchable.
The kind of thing you would expect for a low budget straight to DVD (Or
Sci-fi channel) release. Basically the only reason anybody would watch
this movie is to see a big three headed dog chomping on people. It
doesn't deliver on that front as much one would hope, particularly in
the first half which involves some pretty dull action stuff as our
bland heroes and cookie cutter villains search for a magic sword (The
sword of Mars, which apparently belonged to Attila the Hun if you're
that interested). Things liven up a bit in the second half when the
dodgy CGI Cerberus shows up and one of the bad guys gets hold the
invulnerability granting sword.
The plot is pretty dumb as one would expect. The level of intelligence you can expect from this movie is evident from the first scene which involves a robbery of museum in eastern Europe by the bad guys involving guys jumping through skylights with machine guns and grappling to the ground. I somehow doubt the level of security in a place like that is such that it would necessitate such an elaborate armed robbery. I guess the makers just thought it would make a cool action opening- It doesn't. As mentioned this is low budget stuff and the makers don't quite have the flair to get past such limitations and most the action sequences in the movie, particularly the gun battles in the first half are of Walker: Texas Ranger quality. An ancient breastplate which is stolen from the museum is supposed to be essential in leading to the magic sword but later on in the film our heroes manage to do so easily without it. In fact, given the importance placed on the sword in terms of archaeological and mythological magic value this presumably much sought after artifact is found very easily and quickly. The other notably dumb plot aspect of this movie is the subplot involving a North Korean general with some nukes. I have no idea why this subplot was added, other than perhaps to try and increase the stakes but it adds nothing to movie and really seems out of place. You won't have to look very far to find lots of other bits of stupidity in this film but hey it's got a big 3 headed killer dog.
The characters and the actors playing them are a boring lot. The script seems like it was written by a twelve year old, complete with lame comedic banter between our hapless heroes which is so feeble and unfunny that nobody would even bother to laugh at the jokes at the end of a Scooby-do episode. There is not a lot of personality to spare between our leads. The male lead of course has a clichéd 'history' with the lead baddie who he used to serve with in the military. The female lead is the standard could pass for a supermodel scientist/archaeologist who is perfectly groomed and made up, even after hours of crawling around in dusty tunnels and who despite her supposed intelligence acts pretty stupidly.
The cheesiness it delivered upon though. There are some fun scenes of the oh so fake CGI doggy tearing people up and some of the stuff with the sword wielding and now invulnerable baddie going on a rampage (All a bit Highlander really)is fun. They even manage to include such clichés as copulating teens getting killed by the beastie in one completely unnecessary scene and, I swear to god, a scene with a mob of European villagers with burning torches and at least one pitchfork. There was potential for a better movie here with the somewhat interesting mythology and the cool monster but this was a strictly paint by numbers, heartless product.
Oh yeah, how the hell is Cerberus meant to return the sword back to Attila's tomb after it has killed anyone who took it?
Emmanuelle Vaugier, Sebastian Spence and Brent Florenece star in this surprisingly good film which blends action, adventure, horror and fantasy competently. The premise is simple, Vaugier's Dr. Samantha Gaines is a leading historian and is forced into helping a villainous collector find the sword of Attila the Hun which would grant him even more power. Gaines is forced to help the villain as he has kidnapped her brother, Zach, played by Brent Florence. Gaines is helped by Jake Adams (the handsome Sebastian Spence) and his fellow adventurers, who also delve out most of the comic relief in the film. Naturally, the heroes - and the villains - eventually come across the legendary Cerebus, the three headed dog that guards Attila the Hun's tomb. From then on in, the heroes have to deal with stopping the villain and staying alive as Cerebus is hot on their tracks. The acting is decent from the leads, the scenery is okay, however the Cerebus CGI could have been better. All in all though, a fun 90 minute adventure.
In Bucharest, Romania, the priceless breastplate of Attila, the Hun is
robbed from the National Museum of Antiquities by a gang leaded by the
despicable Marcus Cutter (Greg Evidan), and the curator Radu (Gelu
Nitu) is killed by one of the thieves. Meanwhile, in New York City, the
former assistant of Professor Radu, Dr. Samantha Gaines (Emmanuelle
Vaugier), is waiting for the valuable piece for an exhibition. The
agent Jake Adams (Sebastian Spence) visits Samantha in the museum to
tell about the heist and the death of her friend, and she tells about
the legend that the breastplate would have the inscription of the
location of the Sword of Mars, which is guarded by Cerberus and made
Attila invincible. When Samantha's brother and addicted gambler Jack
(Brent Florence) is kidnapped, she believes his debt of US$ 2,000.00
could be the reason, and travels to Romania invited by the evil
kidnapper Kul Jae Sung (Garret T. Sato), getting involved in a
supernatural adventure with Jake.
"Cerberus" is a reasonable and entertaining adventure, unfortunately "sold" to the viewers as a horror genre by the distributor. I bought this DVD expecting to see a trash movie, and actually it is an action movie with a supernatural dog and sword. The screenplay is flawed and predictable, and also too serious while it should have jokes and humor with the unbelievable situations, but this film is not so bad and does not deserve the IMDb User Rating of 3.9. I only believe that it does not reach the target audience with the scary monster and tagline inducing to horror genre on cover of the DVD. My vote is five.
Title (Brazil): "Cerberus - O Guardião do Inferno" ("Cerberus - The Guardian of Hell")
A lot of sci-fi movies have been made lately, some okay, some terrible, and overall better than the badly scripted ones of the prior three decades. This one had all the better elements of B movie sci fi. A lot of adventure, a cheesy but likable plot, cheesy but likable characters, action, character, atmosphere, and well written and played humor in the right spots. The plot is made to be so hokey that we know this is supposed to be an unbelievable situation, so you have to accept this unbelievable world much as you would a Tolkien world. The unbelievability is more in line with a Bond world, however. If you like Bond movies, you would probably relish this movie. The sword of a Hun leader (the most famous one of course), is stolen from the Roman God of war, Mars, and guarded by the Greek three headed dog, Cerebus, in a village straight out of the Bavarian-Romanian Dracula type movies. So clearly, the writers had a ball putting this together, and no one is expected to take it seriously. Just sit back and enjoy the fun. The lead characters are very extreme, much like James Bond characters, but though the roles are unbelievable, the motivations and actions of the characters ring true in their predicaments. Each of the minor characters is presented with a bit of witticism, mystique, and integrity. No one is a wimp in this movie. And the decisions of the characters are well timed in credibility, which makes this a superior B movie. There are some great humorous moments, such as the bit when the girl suggests using the method of Orpheus to combat the dog beast. And we all know what the other characters think when she suggests a lyre. One of the best scripted pieces done in science fiction. This is what some of the more celebrated and high budget movies wanted to be, but failed. Entertaining and likable.
I found the dialogue, particularly Emmanuelle Vaugier's, very hard to
follow. The whole movie was pathetic. I forced myself to watch it all,
believing that it would improve.
All the actors in this movie are very experienced (based on their filmographies), so you'd expect they would be able to make something out of a very trite and superficial script.
The special(?) effects were hardly believable - When people lost limbs, it reminded me of the Bridge scene between King Arthur and the Knight from Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
Not even the eye candy made up for it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie is about the search for the sword of Attila the Hun, which
will make it's possessor invincible. The bad guys consist of Greg
Evigan (definitely NOT reprising his role from BJ and the Bear), and
some North Korean general who left his country and is now trying to
sell nukes on the open market. Evigan does a credible job as a
semi-psycho ex-special forces soldier. The good guys are led by
Sebastian Spence (Cade Foster from First Wave). He's a very welcome
change from the usual Dean Cain or Lorenzo Lamas that the Sci-Fi
Channel gets to star in their movies. Spence is assisted by a female
scientist who's an expert in all things ancient, and a couple of other
special forces types who more or less provide comedy relief.
Overall, a pretty good movie. A bit too much comic relief from the sidekicks, and the characters don't seem to take the situation all that seriously. But, the acting is good, the locations are nice, and the CGI isn't nearly as bad as a lot of Sci-Fi Channel stuff.
It kept me interested from beginning to end and didn't make me cringe or laugh at any unintentional humor. I'd recommend it to B-movie lovers.
If nothing else I have to hand it to the creators of Cerberus who
managed to mix the religions and legends of several cultures into one
wild modern day plot.
Cerberus of Greek mythology as we know is the guardian of the Underworld or Hell as we call it. It seems as though back in the day or back in another day, Attila the Hun made a deal with old Scratch for an invincible sword which is said to be buried with him. But his resting place is both lost to history and is guarded by Cerberus lest someone else get Attila's invincible sword.
Well now a renegade North Korean general with a resemblance to Fu Manchu is played by Garret Sato wants the sword. It's all he needs to start on his road to world conquest. He hires an American mercenary in Greg Evigan to help get the magic blade, but the Evigan starts getting ideas of his own.
You need an archaeologist with a working knowledge of the Balkan legends to help find Attila's grave so that's where Dr. Emmanuelle Vaugier comes in. They kidnap her brother on the pretext of a gambling debt so she comes along. And Evigan has some US Army Special Ops folks looking for him headed by Sebastian Spence. They all meet up with that nasty three headed Cerberus in, where else, Transylvania.
It's imaginative, but in the end Cerberus is still utter claptrap. They should have left the poor beast alone with the Hercules series.
Bless my good lady because I cannot believe she sat through this
ridiculous movie, laughing in all of the same inappropriate places I
laughed and managing to enjoy a film that does not require the viewer
to switch their brain on for one second.
The story is laughable drivel all about a stolen artifact that once belonged to Attila The Hun and that sees the awakening of Cerberus, the three-headed canine monster. Some good folk are after the stuff to make the dog lie down and be a good boy once again while some bad guys want to abuse the power trip they can get.
Nobody involved here looks set to topple any of our star actors from their perch but they go along with the events and act against some sloppy CGI with the ability to at least deliver the odd minor chuckle (intended) from a script that hardly sparkles.
It's dumb, it's fun, it's probably not even worth having this many words written about it but it passed the time and my other half did not lapse into a coma while it was on so I can only pass along that dubious recommendation although it's a movie only to watch if there really is nothing else on at all ever ever.
See this if you like: Pterodactyl, Mosquito, Insecticidal.
I'm on a bad creature feature binge at the moment and although this is fractionally better than the last one I watched, Sasquatch mountain, it's still terrible. The plot is a ludicrous blend of action film, creature feature and mythology, with the mythology aspect particularly bungled. I may not have studied mythology in a while, but I'm certain that there was never any story that linked Attilla the Hun, Cerberus and a magic sword. The writing and direction are typically throwaway and the acting mostly dull. I have a soft spot for poorly animated CGI monsters, and Cerberus was as silly looking as every other Sci-Fi Channel beast. I quite liked it, but it was underused and even when it does get out for some people chomping, the gore is mostly after the event. Though at least there is some gore Also, the best action generally involves the bad guy, not the monster. The very scant gore and bad but fun creature effects are the only reason I'm giving this imbecilic snoozefest more than one star. That and the fact that I have seen worse. Still, I would only recommend this to masochists and boozed up bad movie fans.
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