Cerberus (2005) (TV)

User Rating:

3.9/10   

Director:

John Terlesky

Writers:

Raul Inglis (writer)
John Terlesky (writer)

Release Date:

2005 (USA)

Genre:

Horror | Sci-Fi

Plot:

In Bucharest, Romania, the priceless breastplate of Attila, the Hun is robbed from the National Museum...

Plot Keywords:

Romania | Cerberus | Sword | Decapitation | Helicopter

Cast

Greg Evigan	...	Marcus Cutter
Garret Sato	...	Kul Jae Sung (as Garret T. Sato)
Bogdan Uritescu	...	Max (as Bogdan Alexandru Uritescu)
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Gabi Andronache	...	Attila
C. Victor Brynner	...	Romanian Boy
Florin Busuioc	...	Lead Villager
Chuck Caudill Jr.	...	Reinholdt
Michael Cory Davis	...	Burke
Alina Dutá	...	Barmaid
Brent Florence	...	Zach Gaines
Ilie Gâlea	...	Bartender
KB Nau	...	Knipstrom
Gelu Nitu	...	Radu, Romanian Curator
Mihaela Elena Oros	...	Romanian Girl
Catalin Paraschiv	...	Dorsey
Sebastian Spence	...	Jake Addams
Emmanuelle Vaugier	...	Dr. Samantha Gaines

MPAA:

Rated R for violence.

Runtime:

USA:92 min (DVD version)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Certification:

USA:R | Australia:MA | Singapore:M18 | South Korea:15 | Greece:K-13

Filming Locations:

MediaPro Studios, Bucharest, Romania

Company:

Cinetel Films

Goofs:

Continuity: When Samantha goes after the sword near the end of the movie, Cerberus' tail is wrapped/not wrapped around her legs between shots.

Movie Connections:

References Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

But is it's bark, bark, bark worse than it's bite, bite, bite?

Bless my good lady because I cannot believe she sat through this ridiculous movie, laughing in all of the same inappropriate places I laughed and managing to enjoy a film that does not require the viewer to switch their brain on for one second.

The story is laughable drivel all about a stolen artifact that once belonged to Attila The Hun and that sees the awakening of Cerberus, the three-headed canine monster. Some good folk are after the stuff to make the dog lie down and be a good boy once again while some bad guys want to abuse the power trip they can get.

Nobody involved here looks set to topple any of our star actors from their perch but they go along with the events and act against some sloppy CGI with the ability to at least deliver the odd minor chuckle (intended) from a script that hardly sparkles.

It's dumb, it's fun, it's probably not even worth having this many words written about it but it passed the time and my other half did not lapse into a coma while it was on so I can only pass along that dubious recommendation although it's a movie only to watch if there really is nothing else on at all ever ever.

See this if you like: Pterodactyl, Mosquito, Insecticidal.