Harry Potter: [for Quidditch tryouts] Okay, so this morning I'm going to be putting you all though a few drills, just to set things straight.
[everyone is talking]
Harry Potter: Quiet, please.
[everybody's still taking]
Ginny Weasley: [shouts] Shut It!
[everyone is silent]
Harry Potter: Thanks.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: [to Harry, Ron, & Hermione] Why is it, when something happens, it is always you three?
Ron Weasley: Believe me, Professor. I've been asking myself the same question for six years.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Potter, take Weasley with you. He looks far too happy over there.
Rubeus Hagrid: Seriously misunderstood creatures, spiders are. It's the eyes, I reckon, they unnerve some folk.
Harry Potter: Not to mention the pincers...
[clicks his tongue while miming pincers biting]
[Romilda Vane and Harry are staring at each other across the library]
Hermione Granger: [snaps her fingers] Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One.
Harry Potter: But I am the Chosen One.
[Hermione smacks him on the head with the newspaper]
Harry Potter: Sorry... kidding!
Ron Weasley: How much are these?
Ron Weasley: How much for me?
Ron Weasley: I'm your brother!
Ron Weasley: [about Ginny and Dean] What do you think he sees in her?
Harry Potter: She's smart... funny... attractive...
Ron Weasley: Attractive?
Harry Potter: Well you know... she has nice... skin.
Ron Weasley: So you think he is going out with her because she has nice skin?
Harry Potter: Well, I dunno, I'm just saying it could be a contributing factor.
Ron Weasley: Hermione's got nice skin. You know, as far as skin goes.
Harry Potter: I-I've never thought about it before. But now that you mention it, yeah. Very nice.
Harry Potter: [long pause] ... I think I'll be going to bed now.
Hermione Granger: How does it feel, Harry? When you see Dean with Ginny?
Harry Potter: [slightly taken aback] Oh. Um...
Hermione Granger: I know. I've seen the way you look at her. You're my best friend.
[Ron bursts in with Lavender, laughing, then sobers when he sees Hermione and Harry]
Lavender Brown: Oops!... I think this room's taken.
Ron Weasley: [awkwardly] ... What's with the birds?
Hermione Granger: [stands, glares at Ron] Oppugno!
[Hermione's flock of birds fly at Ron, who flees the room. Hermione sinks next to Harry and breaks down crying]
Harry Potter: It feels like this.
[in the hospital wing, Ron stirs]
Lavender Brown: Ah! See? He senses my presence.
Lavender Brown: Don't worry, Won-Won! I'm here. I'm here.
Ron Weasley: [croaks] Her... my... nee. Hermione...
[Hermione takes Ron's hand. Lavender runs out, sobbing. Awkward silence]
Albus Dumbledore: Oh, to be young and to feel love's keen sting.
Horace Slughorn: [talking to Harry about his fish] It was a student who gave me Francis. One Spring afternoon I discovered a bowl on my desk, just a few inches of clear water in it. Floating on the surface was a flower petal. As I washed, it sank. Just when it reached the bottom, it transformed into a wee fish. It was beautiful magic, wondrous to the behold. The flower petal had come from a lily, your mother. The day I came downstairs, the day the bowl was empty, was the day your mother...
Horace Slughorn: Harry! I must insist you accompany me back to the castle immediately!
Harry Potter: That would be counterproductive, sir!
Horace Slughorn: What makes you say that?
Harry Potter: No idea!
[after telling Harry to close his eyes, Ginny hides his book somewhere in the Room of Requirement, then comes back, and gives him a soft kiss on the lips]
Ginny Weasley: That can stay hidden up here too, if you like.
[a short time later, Harry is walking down the hallway, in a daze. Ron appears beside him]
Ron Weasley: So, did you and Ginny do it?
Harry Potter: [alarmed] What?
Ron Weasley: Did you hide the book?
Horace Slughorn: Exactly how did you get out of the castle, Harry?
Harry Potter: Through the front door sir.
Horace Slughorn: [shocked] Harry!
Harry Potter: [imitating Slughorn and hyper from the Felix potion] Sir!
[Harry gulps down the Felix Felicis]
Hermione Granger: How do you feel?
Harry Potter: Excellent... really excellent!
Hermione Granger: Remember, Slughorn usually eats early, takes a walk, and then returns to his office.
Harry Potter: Right. I'm going down to Hagrid's.
Hermione Granger: What? No! Harry, you've got to go speak to Slughorn! We have a plan.
Harry Potter: I know, but I've got a really good feeling about Hagrid's. I feel like it's the place to be tonight. Do you know what I mean?
Harry Potter: Trust me! I know what I'm doing, or Felix does.
[walks past two people]
Harry Potter: Hi!
Ron Weasley: It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon.
Harry Potter: Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we?
Ron Weasley: It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one.
Harry Potter: Or twenty.
Ron Weasley: I can't stop thinking about her, Harry.
Harry Potter: Honestly, you know, I reckon she was starting to annoy you.
Ron Weasley: She could never annoy me. I think I love her.
Harry Potter: Oh... brilliant.
Ron Weasley: Do you think she knows I exist?
Harry Potter: Well, I'd bloody well hope so, she's been snogging you for three months.
Ron Weasley: Snogging? Who are you talking about?
Harry Potter: Who are you talking about?
Ron Weasley: Romilda, of course. Romilda Vane.
Harry Potter: Okay, very funny.
Ron Weasley: [throws the chocolates box at Harry]
Harry Potter: What was that for?
Ron Weasley: It's no joke! I'm in love with her!
Harry Potter: Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?
Ron Weasley: No... Can you introduce me?
Ron Weasley: You heard Snape say he's made an Unbreakable Vow?
Harry Potter: Yes. What does it mean?
Ron Weasley: Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow!
Harry Potter: [sarcastic] I worked that much out for myself, funny enough.
Harry Potter: [talking to Slughorn] Be brave, Professor. Be brave like my mother... Otherwise, you disgrace her. Otherwise, she died for nothing. Otherwise, the bowl will remain empty... forever.
Draco Malfoy: [looking at Harry's broken nose] Nice face, Potter!
[Harry nods disdainfully; Luna pulls out her wand]
Luna Lovegood: Would you like me to fix it for you? Personally, I think you look a little more devil-may-care this way, but it's up to you.
Harry Potter: Um... have you ever fixed a nose before?
Luna Lovegood: No. But I've done several toes, and how different are they, really?
Harry Potter: ...Okay, yeah, sure, give it a go.
Luna Lovegood: Episkey!
[a loud crack]
Harry Potter: Augh...!
[rubs his nose gingerly; looks at Luna]
Harry Potter: Well? How do I look?
Luna Lovegood: Exceptionally ordinary.
Harry Potter: ...Brilliant.
Severus Snape: [Cormac throws up on Snape's shoes] You've just earned yourself detention for a month, McClaggen.
[Slughorn is snipping tentacular leaves through a window in the greenhouse; Harry, who is walking by, notices Slughorn and walks up behind him. Slughorn is startled]
Horace Slughorn: Aaauughh!... Merlin's beard, Harry!
Harry Potter: Oh, sorry, sir, I should've announced myself. Cleared my throat. Coughed. You probably feared I was Professor Sprout!
Horace Slughorn: Yes, I did actually!... What made you think that?
Harry Potter: Oh, well, just the general behavior, sir - the sneaking around, jumping when you saw me... Are those tentacular leaves, sir? They're very valuable, aren't they?
Horace Slughorn: Ten Galleons a leaf to the right buyer!... Not that I'm familiar with any such back alley transactions, but one does hear rumors. My own interests are purely academic, of course.
Harry Potter: Personally, these plants always kind of freak me out.
Ron Weasley: [to Hermione and Ginny] He'll be here, soon.
Hermione Granger: [smacks him on the arm with a book] Will you stop eating? Your best friend is missing!
Ron Weasley: Turn around, you lunatic!
[Hermione and Ginny looks towards the Great Hall door and sees Harry covered in blood]
Ginny Weasley: He's covered in blood again. Why is it he's always covered in blood?
Ron Weasley: Well, it looks like it's his own this time.
Harry Potter: [chasing after Snape after Snape killed Dumbledore] Snape! He trusted you!
Rubeus Hagrid: [talking about Aragog] I had him from an egg, you know? Tiny little thing he was when he hatched. No bigger than a Pekingese. A Pekingese, mind you!
Horace Slughorn: How sweet! I once had a fish... Francis. He was very dear to me. One afternoon, I came downstairs and... it vanished. Poof.
Rubeus Hagrid: That's very odd, isn't it?
Horace Slughorn: Yes, doesn't it? But that's life! I suppose, you - you go along with and suddenly... poof.
Rubeus Hagrid: Poof.
Harry Potter: Poof.
[Harry and Luna are the last two students to arrive at the school]
Professor Filius Flitwick: There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you two.
[looks at his register]
Professor Filius Flitwick: Now, names?
Harry Potter: Professor Flitwick, you've known me for five years.
Professor Filius Flitwick: [awkwardly] No exceptions... Potter.
Harry Potter: Incarcerous!
[Snape blocks the curse]
Harry Potter: Fight back!, you coward! Fight back!
[Bellatrix shoots a curse at Harry]
Severus Snape: No! He belongs to the Dark Lord!
Harry Potter: Sectumsempra!
[Snape blocks the curse again, throwing Harry onto his back]
Severus Snape: You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? Yes. I'm the Half Blood Prince.
Horace Slughorn: What about you, Miss Granger? What do your parents do in the muggle world?
Hermione Granger: Ah, my parents are dentists.
Horace Slughorn: And is that considered a dangerous profession?
Severus Snape: [Snape has just walked in on Harry and Cormac. Harry attempts to run away] Not... so fast, Potter.
Harry Potter: Sorry, sir, but I really should be getting back to the party. My date...
Severus Snape: Can surely survive another minute without you. Besides, I only wish to convey a message.
Harry Potter: Sorry I made you miss the carriages by the way, Luna.
Luna Lovegood: That's all right, it's like being with a friend.
Harry Potter: Oh, I am your friend, Luna.
Luna Lovegood: That's nice.
Horace Slughorn: I would have thought an expert potion-maker like yourself could whip up an antidote for a love potion in no time, Harry?
Harry Potter: Well, sir, I think this called for a more practiced hand.
Ron Weasley: [throws his arms around Slughorn] Hello, darling. Fancy a drink?
Horace Slughorn: Perhaps you're right.
Lavender Brown: [runs into the hospital wing, after Ron's been poisoned] Where is he? Where's my Won-Won? Has he been asking for me?
[sees Hermione sitting next to Ron's bed]
Lavender Brown: What is she doing here?
Hermione Granger: [stands] I might ask you the same question!
Lavender Brown: I happen to be his girlfriend!
Hermione Granger: Well, I happen to be his... friend.
Lavender Brown: Friend? Don't make me laugh! You haven't spoken in weeks. I guess you want to make up with him now that's he's suddenly all interesting!
Hermione Granger: He's been poisoned, you daft dimbo! And as a matter of fact, I've always found him interesting.
Albus Dumbledore: [about Hermione] Are you and her...?
Harry Potter: Oh no, no, no. I mean, she's brilliant, but we're friends.
Harry Potter: But, Sir, I thought we weren't allowed to apparate on Hogwarts' grounds.
Albus Dumbledore: Well, being me... has its privileges.
Albus Dumbledore: Ah, Harry... you need a shave, my friend.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Mr. Davis! Mr. Davis, that is the girls' lavatory.
Mrs. Cole: I must admit to some confusion receiving your letter, Professor Dumbledore. In all the years Tom's been here, he's never once had a family visitor. There have been... incidents with the other children. Nasty things.
[opens the door]
Mrs. Cole: Tom? You have a visitor.
Albus Dumbledore: How do you do, Tom?
Tom Riddle - Age 11: [without turning around] Go.
[cut to a short time later, as Dumbledore sits opposite Tom]
Tom Riddle - Age 11: You're the doctor, aren't you?
Albus Dumbledore: No, I'm a professor.
Tom Riddle - Age 11: I don't believe you. She wants me looked at. They think I'm... different.
Albus Dumbledore: Well, perhaps they're right.
Tom Riddle - Age 11: I'm not mad.
Albus Dumbledore: Hogwarts is not a place for mad people. Hogwarts is a school. A school of magic. You can do things can't you, Tom? That other children can't.
Tom Riddle - Age 11: I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who are mean to me. I can make them hurt, if I want... Who are you?
Albus Dumbledore: Well, I'm like you, Tom. I'm different.
Tom Riddle - Age 11: Prove it.
[Dumbledore turns and looks at the wardrobe, which bursts into flames. Something rattles on the inside]
Albus Dumbledore: I think there's something in the wardrobe trying to get out, Tom.
[Tom opens the wardrobe, and dumps out the contents]
Albus Dumbledore: Thievery is not tolerated at Hogwarts, Tom. At Hogwarts you will be taught not only how to use magic, but how to control it. Do you understand me?
[Dumbledore starts to leave]
Tom Riddle - Age 11: I can speak to snakes, too. They find me... whisper things.
[Dumbledore stops, looking surprised]
Tom Riddle - Age 11: Is that normal, for someone like me?
Ron Weasley: [about the Half-Blood Prince's book] He even sleeps with it.
Harry Potter: I don't sleep with it!
Narcissa Malfoy: I know I'm not to be here. The Dark Lord himself forbid me to speak of this...
Severus Snape: If the Dark Lord has forbidden it, you are not to speak...
[Snape turns to Bellatrix fooling around with his things]
Severus Snape: Put it down, Bella. We mustn't touch what isn't ours.
Severus Snape: As it so happens, I'm aware of your situation.
Bellatrix Lestrange: You? The Dark Lord told you?
Severus Snape: Your sister doubts me. Over the years I've played my part well, so well I've deceived one of the greatest wizards of all time.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [Snarling] Huh!
Severus Snape: Dumbledore *is* a great wizard. Only a fool would question it.
Narcissa Malfoy: I don't doubt you Severus.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [Walking around] You should be honored Cissy, as should Draco.
Narcissa Malfoy: ...He's just a boy.
Severus Snape: I can't change the Dark Lord's mind. But it might be possible for me to help Draco.
Narcissa Malfoy: [Getting up] Severus...
Bellatrix Lestrange: Swear to it... make the Unbreakable Vow.
[Walking over to Snape]
Bellatrix Lestrange: It's just empty words. He'll give it his best effort, when it maters most. He'll just slither back into his hole... coward.
Severus Snape: [coldly] Take-out-your-wand.
[Cut to Snape and Narcissa clasping hands, as Bellatrix circles them, holding her wand]
Bellatrix Lestrange: Will you, Severus Snape, watch over Draco Malfoy, as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?
Severus Snape: I will.
Bellatrix Lestrange: And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?
Severus Snape: I will.
Bellatrix Lestrange: And, if Draco should fail, will you yourself carry out the deed the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?
Severus Snape: I will.
[Harry is reading a newspaper]
Waitress: "Harry Potter." Who's Harry Potter?
Harry Potter: Oh, no one. Bit of a tosser, really.
Dolores Umbridge: [Spoken by mockery doll of Dolores Umbridge] I will have order! I really do hate children.
Hermione Granger: [after she sees Ron accepting an embarrassing necklace from Lavender] Excuse me, I have to go vomit.
Argus Filch: [Holding Malfoy] Professor Slughorn, sir. I've just discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to be invited to your party.
Draco Malfoy: Ok! Ok! I was gate crashing. Happy?
Albus Dumbledore: [holding up a Muggle magazine] Horace, do you mind if I take this? I do love knitting patterns.
Luna Lovegood: I've never been to this part of the castle. Well, not awake. I sleepwalk, you see. That's why I wear shoes to bed.
Albus Dumbledore: Draco, years ago I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you!
Draco Malfoy: [crying] I don't need your help! Don't you understand? I have to do this! I have to kill you... or he's gonna kill me!
Albus Dumbledore: Take my arm.
Harry Potter: I just apparated, didn't I?
Albus Dumbledore: Indeed. Quite successfully, I might add. Most people vomit their first time.
Harry Potter: [dry-heaving] I can't imagine why.
Harry Potter: Did you know, sir? Then?
Albus Dumbledore: Did I know that I just met the most dangerous dark wizard of all time? No.
Remus Lupin: Has it occurred to you Harry, that Snape was simply pretending to offer Draco help so he could find out what he was up to?
Harry Potter: That's not what it sounded like.
Nymphadora Tonks: Perhaps Harry's right, Remus. I mean, to make an Unbreakable Vow...
Remus Lupin: It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore. Dumbledore trusts Snape, therefore I do.
Cormac McLaggen: No hard feelings, eh, Weasley?
Ron Weasley: What do you mean?
Cormac McLaggen: I'll be trying out for Gryffindor Keeper too. Nothing personal.
Ron Weasley: Really? Big, strapping fellow like you? You look like you've got more of a Beater's build to me. I mean, to be Keeper, you've got to be a quick and agile sort...
[McLaggen snatches a fly buzzing around Ron's head with his fingers]
Cormac McLaggen: I like my chances. By the way, think you could introduce me to your friend Granger? Wouldn't mind getting on a first-name basis with her, if you know what I mean...
Severus Snape: Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore?
Albus Dumbledore: Whether it has or it hasn't is irrelevant; you gave me your word.
Harry Potter: What brings you here, sir?
Horace Slughorn: [good-naturedly/drunkenly] Oh, the Three Broomsticks and I go way back! Farther back than I care to admit! Ho ho ho... Why I can remember when it was just ONE Broomstick!
[Slughorn chuckles and spills his drink all over the table, splashing Hermione; she jumps away]
Horace Slughorn: Whoops! All hands on deck, there, Granger!
Horace Slughorn: [during Aragog's funeral] Farewell, Aragog. King of the arachnids. Your body will decay... but your spirit lingers on and your human friends find solace, the loss they have sustained.
Ginny Weasley: [Hermione is holding hands with an unconscious Ron in the hospital wing. Ginny gets up and walks past Harry] About time, don't you think?
Hermione Granger: [Harry looks at Hermione] Oh, shut up.
[Hermione turns back to Ron, smiling coyly]
Albus Dumbledore: Severus... please...
Severus Snape: [Pointing his wand at Dumbledore] Avada Kedavra!
[Light shoots out of his wand, killing Dumbledore]
Bellatrix Lestrange: [faded voiceover] I killed Sirius Black!
Harry Potter: I never noticed how beautiful this place is.
Horace Slughorn: Thank you for the pineapple, you're quite right, it is my favorite - but how did you know?
Tom Riddle - Age 16: Intuition.
Horace Slughorn: [in regard to returning to Hogwarts] All right, I'll do it! But I want Professor Merrythought's office, not that water closet I had before. And I want a raise, these are mad times we live in. MAD!
Neville Longbottom: [serving drinks at Slughorn's Christmas party] I didn't get into the Slug Club. It's okay, though. He's got Belby handing out towels in the loo.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [walking into the astronomy tower followed by Death Eaters] Well look what we have here. Dumbledore wandless, alone and cornered in his own castle! Well done, Draco!
Albus Dumbledore: Good evening, Bellatrix. I think introductions are in order.
Bellatrix Lestrange: Love to, Albus, but I'm afraid we're on a bit of a tight schedule.
Bellatrix Lestrange: Do it!
Fenrir Greyback: He doesn't have the stomach, like his father. Let me finish him in my own way.
Bellatrix Lestrange: No! The Dark Lord was clear, the boy's to do it.
Waiter: [Hermione hides from Cormac at the Christmas party. Waiter offers hors d'oeuvres] Dragon tartare?
Hermione Granger: No, thank you.
Harry Potter: I'm fine.
Waiter: Just as well. They give you terrible bad breath.
Hermione Granger: On second thought...
[grabs the tray and gobbles two]
Hermione Granger: Maybe they'll keep McLaggen at bay... oh, God, here he comes!
Ron Weasley: I must admit, I thought I was going to miss that last one. I hope Cormac's not taking it too hard. I think he's got a bit of a thing for you, Hermione, Cormac.
Hermione Granger: [shortly] He's vile.
Albus Dumbledore: [talking about Tom Riddle in the Great Hall] Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls.
Albus Dumbledore: But in the end, their greatest weapon... is you.
[after exposing Slughorn's disguise]
Albus Dumbledore: I must say, Horace, you make a very convincing armchair.
Horace Slughorn: Oh, thank you. It's all in the upholstry.
[pats his stomach]
Horace Slughorn: I come about the stuffing naturally.
Albus Dumbledore: [as Draco tries to muster the nerve to kill him] Draco... you are no assassin.
Severus Snape: [looking at Draco] I will escort him out.
Draco Malfoy: [glaring at Snape] Certainly - Professor.
Horace Slughorn: [showing Harry pictures] I taught the whole Black family, except Sirius, it's a shame. I got Regulus when he came around of course, but I would have liked the set.
Katie Bell: I know you're going to ask me Harry, but I don't know who cursed me. I've been trying to remember, honestly. But I just can't.
Severus Snape: Run along, Wormtail!
[He waves his wand at the door, slamming it and knocking Wormtail back]
[Harry persuades Slughorn to hand over his true memory]
Horace Slughorn: Please don't think badly of me when you see it. You have no idea what he was like... even back then.
Harry Potter: I'm not coming back Hermione. I've got to finish whatever Dumbledore started, and I don't know where that'll lead me, but I'll let you and Ron know where I am when I can.
Hermione Granger: I've always admired your courage Harry, but sometimes you can be really thick. You don't really think you're going to be able to find all those horcruxes by yourself do you? You need us Harry.
Ron Weasley: [he puts his arms around Professor Slughorn thinking he is Romilda Vane] Hello darling fancy a drink?
Horace Slughorn: Perhaps you're right Harry.
Harry Potter: [Harry knocks on the door of Professor Slughorn's room] I'm sorry, sir. I wouldn't bother you if it weren't essential.
Ron Weasley: Where's Romilda?
Horace Slughorn: What's the matter with Wenby?
Harry Potter: [Whispers] Very powerful love potion.
Horace Slughorn: Very well. Better bring him in. I'd have thought you could have whipped up a remedy for this in no time, Harry.
Harry Potter: I'd have thought that this called for a more practised hand, sir.
Ron Weasley: [Ron wraps his arms around Professor Slughorn and looks at him romantically] Hello Darling. Fancy a drink?
Horace Slughorn: Perhaps you're right.
Hermione Granger: You have to realize who you are, Harry.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [to Narcissa] Cissy, can't do this! He can't be trusted!
Ron Weasley: [about Hermione] Did you hear her talk about me and her snogging? As if...
Ginny Weasley: [she and Harry are in the Room of Requirement. Ginny takes the book from Harry so she can hide it] Close your eyes so you won't be tempted
Draco Malfoy: [stomping on Harry's nose] That was for my father.
[covers Harry with his Invisibility Cloak]
Draco Malfoy: Enjoy your trip back to London!
Draco Malfoy: Didn't mummy ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop, Potter? Petrificus totalus! Oh yeah. She was dead before you could wipe the drool off your chin.
[Stomps on Harry's nose]
Draco Malfoy: That was for my father. Enjoy your ride back to London.
[Covers Harry up with the invisibility cloak and then leaves]
Albus Dumbledore: This is beyond anything I have imagined.
Albus Dumbledore: Oh, to be young and to feel love's keen sting.