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Must Love Dogs (2005) Poster

Quotes

Jake: That's what it was like when I met Sarah. Anyway that's what I

Sarah: I made you nauseous?

Jake: In a good way - I was lovesick.

Sarah: [laughing] That was good, honey.

title cards: [in front of two dogs who played Mother Teresa] No animals were harmed during the filming of this movie.

title cards: Though we were petted within an inch of our lives.

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Jake: You know, but I think your heart grows back bigger. You know? Once you get the shit beat out of you. And, um, the universe lets your heart expand that way, and I think that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place and that's how I see it, anyway.

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Jake: It's a long story, something about the violation of expectations and a crushing loss of faith, and love, and life, and art.

Bill: So it's a girl?

Jake: Yes.

Bill: I've had a little bit of girl trouble myself lately. But it is better to have loved and lost, am I right?

Jake: She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Halley's comet. But the universe is designed to break your heart, right?

Bill: A philosopher as well as an artist, yes, it is we who suffer most.

Jake: Yes, with the possible exception of the victims of violent crime

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Dolly: I love this internet. It's part fantasy, part community, and you get to pay your bills naked.

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Bob: You sure you don't want to come in, we just opened a bottle of wine.

Sarah: Oh I think I'd rather die, but thank you.

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Vinnie: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because... I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.

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Sarah: I want to be in love. I want to wake up next to someone and see them smile, do the whole Sunday breakfast thing, go out and get the paper, stay in bed together all day.

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Carol: Where are your boob shirts?

[holds up Sarah's sweaters]

Sarah: What?

Carol: Your *boob* shirts!

Christine: Don't worry, I brought some of mine!

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Christine: [Sarah is in the bath and not picking up the phone] Sarah, it's me, Christine. Pick up. Come on, Sarah. I already talked to Dad.

Sarah: [sighs and answers the phone] Who else knows?

Christine: No one.

Sarah: Come on, Carol has to know.

Christine: Why does Carol have to know? Couldn't I once know something before she does?

Sarah: [realizing] She's there with you, isn't she?

Christine: No.

Sarah: Hello, Carol.

Carol: [small beat] Hi, Sarah. I was telling Chris it's a shame I didn't know about this before because I would have called Uncle Chet. We could have doubled.

Sarah: Oh, no. This story is going to be immortalized into family history, isn't it? Told and retold at Thanksgiving dinner, year after year...

Carol: Oh, not just Thanksgiving. I think it's a good Christmas story to.

[both Carol and Christine laugh]

Sarah: Bye guys.

Christine: [laughing] Wait. Tell the truth. One a scale of one to ten how would you rate Dad as a date? Hot, super hot?

[Sarah hangs up]

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[Jake and Sarah are trying to buy some condoms because neither of them had any; Jake returns from a store to the car]

Jake: They're out!

Sarah: How can they be out?

Jake: I have a theory about this. Everyone in the city is having sex at the exact same time... except for us. But we will press on.

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[first lines]

Rebecca: The best place to meet a guy is at the supermarket. You don't need to waste a lot of time there, either. You see a guy holding a list, you know he's married. He's in the frozen food section carrying a small basket, he's single. I like to hang out by fruits and vegetables, there's a better chance of getting a guy who's healthy.

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Marc: He has balls of steel.

Carol: We're very proud.

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Jake: She did not see my A game!

Charlie: Sounds like she didn't see your B or C game either.

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Carol: Hello! Don't worry, it's just me. I'm in the kitchen. I filled your freezer again. There's now enough meat to feed every guy who answered your ad and still...

[Walks in from the kitchen and sees Jake]

Carol: Whoa.

Sarah: Jake Anderson, my sister Carol. Jake did, in fact, answer the ad.

Jake: Do I get my meat?

[Carol tosses him the meat]

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Austin: [after getting a bloody nose in Sarah's class] Good Lord! It's a gusher!

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Marcia: Probably the best place is Home Depot... or any hardware store. You just walk up to the cutest guy and say "Do you know where I get nailed? I mean nails? Pardon me, I've been drinking all afternoon." And that way he knows: one, that you're easy, and two, that you like to drink.

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Jake: [Driving in search of condoms] So this pre-school of yours, it's what? Traditional, developmental, Montessori?

Sarah: Yeah, yeah, all that. Drugstore!

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Jake: Oh Charlie, you should've seen this girl; she's shy, she's fragile, she's self conscious, she has no idea how beautiful she is... she's a M-E-S-S-S... it's FAN-TAS-TIC!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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