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American Crude
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Reviews & Ratings for
American Crude More at IMDbPro »

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34 out of 49 people found the following review useful:

do not watch this movie!

1/10
Author: kloda007 from Canada
20 July 2008

even a review would be a waste of time, but i'll give you the important bits: this is one of the most poorly written films i have ever seen.

the fact that so many decent actors/comedians are in it is beyond me. i can't explain how they suckered these guys into regurgitating the terrible dialog.

the story goes nowhere, takes forever, and basically sucks.

no one is like-able, there is no hero, no bad guy, just nothing.

it is a vapid, useless, and moronic film, and THE ABSOLUTE WORST attempt at making a dark comedy i have ever seen in my entire life.

from the script, to the editing, to the directing, absolutely everything is painful.

please, save yourself, do not watch this movie.

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8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

Unpleasant and Unfunny Tale about North America's Scumbags

4/10
Author: Claudio Carvalho from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
27 April 2013

The criminal Carlos (Jennifer Esposito) breaks out from prison and her pimp Felonious Spinks (Michael Clarke Duncan) drives the runaway car. Carlos seeks revenge against the criminal Henrique, who raped and introduced her to prostitution.

The smalltime crook Johnny (Ron Livingston) is married with Jane (Cynthia Watros), but he is still fancy Olivia (Amanda Detmer) that is the love of his life and will marry his best friend Bill (Rob Schneider). Johnny organizes a bachelor party for Bill with their friend Phil (Eric Stonestreet) while Jane organizes a shower for Olivia.

Johnny's father is the pedophile Mr. Grand (Raymond J. Barry) that sells abducted teenagers to Henrique. Mr. Grand has injured his wife when she asked for the divorce and now she is crippled. Johnny plots a scheme with the travesty Gigi LaRush (Missi Pyle) to separate Olivia from Bill and is negotiating fake passports with Carlos and Spinks. But when Bill and Gigi are arrested by a police officer and Mr. Grand kidnaps Tammy Snow, the lives of these players are entwined with tragic consequences.

"American Crude" is an unpleasant and unfunny tale about North America's scumbags that have their lives entwined after a tragic event. There is pedophilia, travesty, betrayal, fellatio, robbery, murder, lesbianism and the genre is very confused, apparently a black comedy. Maybe with Guy Ritchie in the direction, "American Crude" might have worked. But the debut of Craig Sheffer in a feature is awful since he directs this movie with very "heavy hand" and the humor never works. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Escolhas Erradas" ("Wrong Choices")

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5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Hangover with a vengeance

2/10
Author: p-stepien from United Kingdom
2 December 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Johnny (Ron Livingston) intends to organize a bachelor party for his best friend Bill (Roy Schneider), but not all his plans are honest and pure with a skeleton almost falling out of his closet. At the same time Bill's fiancée Olivia (Amanda Detmer) is having her own night on the town, during which she intends to diverge some of her secrets to Johnny's wife. Meanwhile Johnny's dad plans to kidnap and sell a young girl to a pimp, a sexy Cuban refugee and her partner want to dish out some revenge on the pimp and a transvestite prostitute wants someone to fix her plumbing. Naturally lives collide, people have sex and die, guns are galore and all in all we are supposed to be entertained by this cross-dressing pseudocomedy drama fiasco.

Thankfully almost everyone in this travesty of a movie is dead by the end of it. Because there isn't a single character in it that is likable. I wouldn't mind a movie where the characters aren't cardboard and have their dark sides. But in this movie everyone is disgusting to the point of the viewer personally wanting to whack off every single character yourself.

It tries to be a bit more intelligent at times throughout the movie and actually has a couple of good scenes with some nice dialogue. Shame it got wasting in this joke of a movie. I really would have just preferred it to be a stupid as hell slapstick comedy, but it wants more than it can chew and it chokes.

Acting is decent, but its just the structure of this wannabee story that kills any positives scattered sparcely around the flick. Do not bother.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Superb dark humour, excellent acting

10/10
Author: tim-1767 from United Kingdom
21 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

American Crude is a superb movie, if you are prepared to be jarred from your comfort zone by an anarchic and zany plot. Excellent acting. Somewhet (ok, very) dark, but hilarious. It's really up there with My Myself & Irene as one of my favourite comedy movies of all time.

I now learn that I have to write ten lines to get this review submitted. That's a pretty dumb rule. Anyway here is some more information about the movie.

It starts off with two well to do couples, one of which is about to marry. The pre-nuptial ceremonies and rituals then veer left field and it would be a spoiler to tell you anything else. Why do they make me write 10 lines?! Enjoy the movie. Tim.

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

dumb...one of the worst movies ever....

1/10
Author: Zaphod from United States
28 June 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well ,after watching it last night I've decided to write an honest review for it. First of all ,it's another kind of dumb movies with too much characters and too much plots ,not mentioning expensive cast (including Rob Schneider ,Missy Pyle....that's already an unreliable movie...). The whole story is a ridiculous and so called/suppose to be a crossroad of the plots--which never really met each other--it's a dead end ,not mentioning how predictable ,uninpired and unoriginal it is. And besides ,the whole mood during the movie was as if the whole thing was a random sequence of events. Second ,it's way too hyped and way too highly overrated--it's just another commercial trick...avoid at all costs.

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5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Wouldn't consider buying this movie, if i would have seen it before i bought it.

1/10
Author: funky-dee from Finland
2 March 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Probably the worst movie i have ever seen.Boring and the end just didn't make any sense.I seriously would want my 10 € back if it would be possible.The list of actors is pretty good and i think they spent a lot of money on the movie, but its no the actors fault if the script sucks.I only laughed one time when i was watching this movie, only once and that part wasn't even funny, it was pretty sick.I don't recommend anyone renting, buying or going to the theater to watch this movie, unless some friend would give it to you or you could watch it for free somehow, even then you might waste your time.The "n-word jokes" and the coming husband dying was a dumb idea.I wouldn't consider this a comedy, more like some type of soft thriller.

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6 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

Hooker, Nudity, Sex With Multiple Partners, Lesbianism, Hermaphrodite, Pot Smoking, Coke, Electrocution, Pedophile, and Killings !

Author: ahmed elshikh (ahmed_abd_elreheem@yahoo.com) from Egypt
1 February 2012

..These are some of the movie's plot keys. Yes, you read it right; "some" !

Was Craig Sheffer, the actor and the movie's director, trying to make a crime movie ? Was he trying to make a satire about the "night" of America then thought of presenting it in a comic style ? Was he trying to make a black comedy ? Was he – oh god – thinking that it's a comedy from the start ? Whatever the answer is, that guy made an ugly, disturbing and disturbed movie.

Originally many problems in one night could produce a fine comedy, black or else. But many problems in one movie could produce just a bad movie. It is made in such a poor, primitive and messy way. The script thinks itself a genius, while mixing the genres together, in one night, with many story lines, and absurd spirit. But it lost being anything good or bearable. What it did win though was having a one of a kind silly sense of humor; and it's damn natural since it's directed by Sheffer; one of the silliest actors alive !

I bet that none of the movie's cast knew what the main goal was. I guess Sheffer told them that he wanted to make a satiric cross between Pulp Fiction and American Pie. So sometimes it's about bloody crimes, then it's about crude comedy, then it's about both, then it's about the ugliness of America, then it's about just ugliness !

It's "let's put some of the dirtiest matters on screen for the sake of making a satire". It turned into a great satire towards stupid movie-making mainly. Here's a movie that feeds itself, and us, with massive amount of dirt, a monster of a comedy, and low movie-making to torture everyone sat to complete it. Thus putting the American flag at the top of the movie's presented crimes wasn't something serious about "only in America"; it was rather a try to sell the movie's own crimes as something serious !

Anyway don't be confused, asking was it a comedy? A satire? A black comedy? A crime movie? A soft porn?? Because in fact it is confused. It tried to say that America has become a big toilet, but ended up as a big toilet itself. Thus I won't say "give it a chance and think about it", instead I'll say "don't forget to flush" !

(American Crude) is a dictionary of dirtiness and bad movie-making. It's nasty matters shown in nasty way.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

If you don't think about it too much, it's not bad...

6/10
Author: Gigi White from United States
16 November 2012

I don't know what right-wing conservative is posting all these reviews but this movie is far tamer than some of the reviews would have you believe.

Yes, there is violence; mostly in the form of people shooting each other. But even these scenes aren't terribly graphic and often alluded to. One scene, a person fires a gun - the next scene, another person is dead with a small red splatter so we all know where they've been shot. Done.

There is very little actual sex in the movie. Again, it is mostly alluded to and it's consensual sex (or sexual contact) between adults. Although one of the threads of the movie involves one character attempting to sell a 17 year old girl to a child pornographer, there is no child nudity or sex scenes involving children and no scenes of violence against children.

Another thread involves a Cuban woman who seeks revenge against the men to gang raped her as a child and left her for dead in a dumpster. She does not go into the event in any graphic detail and the flash back scene is very brief and involves the camera pointing up to two fully dressed men looking down (presumably at the Cuban woman as a then child). This is as disturbing as the movie gets.

Ron Schneider is his usual likable, downtrodden, long-suffering self and really adds the comic balance this movie needs. Jennifer Esposito is not entirely convincing as the revenge seeking Cuban, Carlos. Michael Clarke Duncan is the loyal but mistreated boyfriend of Carlos and does a passable job. Ron Livingston is, as always, Mr. Everyman, a flawed but (aw shucks) pretty nice guy when ya get to know him. Missi Pyle (Gigi the hooker) and Shannon Mathers (17 year old girl) lack subtlety in their performances. The two blonde women are typical of the boring sort of wives you find on TV sitcoms - pretty but not really why you tune in.

The movie is sort of everywhere and no where and you don't really get to know what makes anyone tick. Many of the plot twists are pretty predictable and some things seem to be added for shock value and don't really add to the story. Homosexuality seems to be a go to for the writers to try and keep the audience engaged. The scene with Ron Livingston in a gay bar seems to go on for a while and have no real point. Some of the writing is tired and clichéd i.e. "Money talks and bullshit walks." said with far more drama than a line like that warrants. The speech made at the end of the movie by the father standing under the US flag was silly and contrived.

Ultimately, this is decent way to kill 90 minutes and you'll grow to like most of the characters and forget them shortly after the movie is over.

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8 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

One of the worst films ever made

2/10
Author: nanohead from New Jersey
15 January 2010

I almost never bother to review films, as there are always plenty of opinions out there already. But this one was so incredibly bad, that for some reason, I feel compelled to say something....

First off, there are so many terrific players in this movie, that I have to imagine they never knew what they were getting themselves into. They probably all thought this was going to be another cult underground hit that they could be associated with. Maybe on Mars....

I kept waiting for something to happen, but it never did. Michael Clark Duncan made this worth it for me to wait till the end, but other than that, it was so patently absurd, that I cannot imagine how many decent movies didn't get made because this waste of electrons, protons and neutrons wasted all that funding.

The script had zero touches of brilliance, which if it had, might have been enough to hold it together and make it at least a mediocre mess. But then, the "director" seemed to decide that the only way to tell this story was to make everything insane. And then finally, the editor, either was the worst ever or the best ever, but we'll never know what they had to start with in terms of raw footage.

All in all, this was a colossal waste of time and effort on everyone's part, especially those who burnt the 2 hours of their lives to watch it

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8 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

Not nearly as bad as people would lead you to believe.

7/10
Author: IndustrialWaste (RustedNails@cfl.rr.com) from United States
27 October 2008

First off, let me start by saying that i am a fan of Ron Livingston, that is the only reason I decided to watch this movie after reading the reviews. I almost didn't watch it because of what people said about it. And it was pretty good. Especially for a low budget, and a directorial debut.

The flow is a little off in some spots, i'll give the reviewers that much, and there is one falling scene that is reminiscent of the old vertigo film, but it doesn't really drag the film at all. My only gripe is that at times the dialog felt a little forced. Some of the conversations felt a little too scripted. Trying to be a Quinten Terrinino film, but with nothing to say.And everybody always had the perfect way to say it. But other than that I recommend that you give this movie a shot, I give you 7 out of 10 odds that you'll enjoy it.

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