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Spider-Man 2 (Video Game 2004) Poster

(2004 Video Game)

Quotes

Tour Guide: So, let me tell you three things about Black Cat. 38-24-36. End of story.

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[to Shocker]

Spider-Man: Are you wearing a girdle?

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[Man returns to his stolen car damaged when Spider-Man stopped it]

Man: Oh, no!

Spider-Man: Hey, you have the car back, right? Some people get so touchy about every little scratch.

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[Spider-Man crawls into an apartment through a window]

Spider-Man: Wow. Mysterio's hidden fortress looks just like an apartment.

[Spider-Man walks to a wall and a bookcase slides open, revealing an open elevator doorway]

Spider-Man: A hidden door concealed by a bookcase? Mysterio, you brilliant fiend!

[chuckles]

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Spider-Man: I think you zigged when you should have zagged.

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[as he fights a mirrored image of himself]

Spider-Man: There has to be a lawsuit here somewhere.

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[as he fights a mirrored image of himself]

Spider-Man: Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself. No, seriously!

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Tour Guide: Well, sequel time already, huh? Welcome back, I guess. I'm sure you missed me more than I missed you. Anyway, things have changed around here since last time, so they dragged me back at great expense to explain what's up. First things first. You're not much of a wall crawler if you can't, you know, stick to walls, so here's what you do. You walk or run into a wall and hold the grab button. Voila.

[makes popping noise]

Tour Guide: You stick to the wall. It works when you're swinging or jumping, too.

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Tour Guide: Moving right along, let's talk about jumping. Hold down the jump button and you'll charge your jump. This yellow bar shows how strong your jump will be when you let go of the button. You got it? You sure? You don't actually jump until you've let go of the jump button. Okay? Now go jump in a lake.

[Spider-Man tries a jump]

Tour Guide: If you tap the jump button, you'll just do a little hop. A little, a little hop. That's because you didn't charge your jump. Am I going too fast for you?

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Tour Guide: Okay, so the next thing I want you to do is jump off the building. I mean it, just jump. Hey, I wouldn't tell you to do something dangerous and life-threatening, would I? Come on!

[Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and falls in slow-motion]

Tour Guide: Do you always do what people tell you? You know, there's a word for that: LOSER! So, what now, wise guy? Just a little friendly advice while you're falling to your death. You're going to want to shoot out a webline to save yourself. Push the left analog stick in the direction you want to go and press the swing button. Oh, by the way, it'll only work if there's something swingable in range, okay?

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[Spider-Man fires a webline and swings over the city]

Tour Guide: Great, you made it! Now let me tell you a little about swinging. Every time you press the swing button, you'll shoot a new webline. Now there's all kinds of fancy stuff you can do, but let's do baby steps.

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[Spider-Man falls and hits the ground hard during the tutorial]

Tour Guide: Ouch! I would work on that landing. Remember, it isn't falling that hurts you, it's the sudden stop at the end.

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Black Cat: Do you always chase girls that brush you off?

Spider-Man: Only the naughty ones. I have standards after all.

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Spider-Man: You're a sad little man, Beck.

Quentin Beck: I know you are, but what am I?

Spider-Man: ...I can't believe you just said that.

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Tour Guide: Quick bit of history for you. The Statue of Liberty was actually a gift from the French. It was created and built in France, disassembled, shipped over to New York, and reassembled here. The Statue was dedicated on October 28th, 1886. I hope you're taking notes, 'cause there's going to be a pop quiz soon.

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[Spider-Man steps into a gymnasium and sees several thugs ready to attack]

Spider-Man: Hi, guys.

[in mock Austrian accent]

Spider-Man: I'm here to beat you up!

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Spider-Man: [closing narration] Mary Jane, the girl next door, the girl I love, and now, the girl waiting for me at the end of the day. Fate handed me amazing powers, and with those powers came a burden of responsibility. Somehow though, having her with me makes that burden lighter. Still, in the end, it's mine to bear. After all, there's still only one... Spider-Man!

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[Spider-Man sees Mysterio for the first time]

Spider-Man: Okay, I'll bite. How *did* the fishbowl get stuck on your head?

Mysterio: Insolent human! You are no match for the power of Mysterio!

Spider-Man: Mysterio? I think I had a bowl of Mysterios for breakfast.

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Peter Parker: I'm gonna be late for Dr. Conners Class.

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Spider-Man: Hi, my name is Spider-Man and I'll be your superhero today.

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Black Cat: Shouldn't you be helping some old lady across the street or something?

Spider-Man: Nah, I already got that merit badge.

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Spider-Man: So, skin-tight leather. Doesn't that kinda chafe?

Black Cat: You'll never find out, that's for sure.

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Dr. Otto Octavius: Get the girl out of here!

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Spider-Man: [opening lines during view of the city] This is my story. It's the usual thing: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy meets another girl, uh, but, I'm getting ahead of myself. Don't think my life is all flowers and romance though- I *wish*- more and more of my life is spent out here, fighting the worst the city has to offer. Sometimes it's a mugger, sometimes it's a bigger problem. This is the city I protect. New York City. It's my home, my playground, my responsibility.

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Quentin Beck: The laser is overheating? Stupid machine! Work! Work! Come on! Work!

Spider-Man: Problems with your laser, Beck? I hear there are pills for that now.

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[looks around Mysterio's hideout]

Spider-Man: Look at this place. Let me guess. You're trying to make the cover of "Supervillain Decorator Monthly", right, Mysterio?

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Tour Guide: So you want a hint about sticking to walls? Here's one... you're Spider-Man! You can stick to walls! Yippe-Skippe!

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Mysterio: You will meet your end in my funhouse of doom!

Spider-Man: I thought you were an alien.

Mysterio: Silence!

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[to Rhino]

Spider-Man: Which team's mascot are you, anyway?

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Rhino: You're pretty tough for a scrawny little guy.

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Spider-Man: Give it to me straight. Do I look fat in these tights?

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Spider-Man: Try not to run into my fist with your face.

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Spider-Man: Next time you ambush someone, check if he's a superhero first.

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Spider-Man: [to Shocker] How's the tire mascot gig working out?

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Woman: Spidey, my purse!

[Spider-Man returns the stolen purse to the Woman]

Spider-Man: Voila! One purse.

Woman: I can't believe you helped me.

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[enters a gymnasium and sees crooks hiding inside]

Spider-Man: Huh. Hiding in a gym. How's that working out for you?

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[lands on the roof of a speeding stolen car]

Spider-Man: I have issues with carjackers.

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Spider-Man: I, uh, have to get back to my patrol. See you around.

Mary Jane Watson: Yeah. Next time a bunch of thugs try to jump me.

Spider-Man: It's a date.

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Black Cat: Give it a try. Take the weight of the world off your shoulders.

Spider-Man: You don't understand. You don't know why I do this.

Black Cat: What? Parents got killed by a mugger? Abducted by aliens? Sold you to the circus? It doesn't matter. Whatever the reasons, you can't change the past. What's done is done. You have to live for the present.

Spider-Man: Hippie.

Black Cat: [chuckles] All right, fine. Don't cheer up. All I'm saying is you're going to get an ulcer or something.

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[while fighting robbers in a convenient store]

Spider-Man: This is not the right way to get a Slushy!

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[Spider-Man runs into a dance club hideout and finds a band of criminals inside]

Spider-Man: There are clubs in New York where the beautiful people hang out. This clearly is not one of them!

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[Spider-Man runs into a dance club hideout and finds a band of criminals inside]

Spider-Man: You guys must be the dancing fools I've heard about!

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[while fighting robbers in a convenient store]

Spider-Man: Hey, you're making this place less convenient!

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[while fighting robbers in a convenient store]

Spider-Man: I think you wanted the Stop and Rob down the street!

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[Spider-Man crouches beside a webbed-up Shocker and holds up his head to see Black Cat walk off]

Spider-Man: She's pretty amazing, don't you think, Shock?

Herman Schulz: [groans] I think my career just hit a new low.

Spider-Man: Ah. Who cares what you think?

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Spider-Man: Doc, you don't want to hurt anyone!

Dr. Otto Octavius: Oh you're wrong about that...

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Dr. Otto Octavius: I... hope... this... hurts... you... , Freak!

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Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] Great, nothing better than a soaking wet costume. Ugh!

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Man: Spidey, you da man!

Spider-Man: No *you* da man.

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Woman: Spidey, you da man!

Spider-Man: Uh, you da woman?

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Spider-Man: The whole city will be destroyed.

Dr. Otto Octavius: Only you will be destroyed today, murderous pest.

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Tour Guide: Everyone looks at the controller and whines,

[in a whiney voice]

Tour Guide: "There's only one attack button". Will you gimme a break, just because there's only one button *called* attack, doesn't mean it's the only one you can use. It's called a manual. Try to show a little innitiative at least.

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Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] Nothing like a little New York water to clear out the sinuses.

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Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] I need to be more careful, swimming definately doesn't suit me.

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Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] Can't believe I got washed all the way over here.

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Man: Get a job.

Spider-Man: If you only knew.

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Tour Guide: I have nothing new to tell you, except the fact that I'm being paid by the line. I just made 60 bucks. BWA HA HA!

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[as Spider-Man swings above the Statue of Liberty]

Mysterio: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses... so that I can enslave them all!

[Mysterio laughs]

Spider-Man: ...Okay, that's just wrong.

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Tour Guide: Let me tell you a little something about Mysterio. People will say he's crazy, that he has strange fashion sense or that strange odors tend to emanate from his body. But why focus on the negative? Let's talk instead about his wonderful singing voice.

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Tour Guide: You know, people keep asking me, "are you going to eat a sandwich this time?" I mean, what's wrong with you? Are you orally fixated?

[pause]

Tour Guide: Oh, all right, no need for the puppy dog eyes. Here, I'll eat a sandwich, all right?

[bites a sandwich, chews]

Tour Guide: [talks with mouth full] So, if you really want to hear it, really, I'm going to do it for you now.

[gulps down the bite of sandwich]

Tour Guide: All right, there, are you happy? Good. Let's never speak of this again.

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Mysterio: Klaatu barada nikto!

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[as he finds a hologram of Mysterio in the control room]

Spider-Man: A hologram. Why should I be surprised?

Mysterio: You may have foiled my plans this time, Spider-Man. But I'll be back. I promise you that!

[laughs]

Spider-Man: Uh-huh. Heard it before... about a million times.

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Rhino: Spider-Man, huh? Finally! I've been dying to see what you can do! Let's go! Ah, just try to break through my armor!

[snorts]

Rhino: I'm gonna break your bones and make you cry for your mama!

Spider-Man: Rhino. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're strong, but dumb.

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Rhino: I'm the Rhino! Ain't nothing can hurt me!

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Thug: We're turning the tables on you, Spider-Man!

Spider-Man: [in mocked fear] Oh, no! Please don't throw me in the briar patch!

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Black Cat: [to Spider-Man] You've got moves... for a dork in tights.

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Betty Brant: [to Peter Parker] If you want to socialize, ask me out sometime.

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J. Jonah Jameson: [to Peter Parker] You again? Let me see what you have.

J. Jonah Jameson: [takes Parker's pictures] They're crap. Did you leave the lens on when you took these?

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[Four robbers get out of a stopped car after Spider-Man arrives]

Tour Guide: Looks like the robbers are escaping on foot. Go teach 'em a lesson. You know, by beating the snot out of them. I mean, this isn't a civics class. What do you expect?

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Tour Guide: Between swinging, zipping, wall sprinting, and pole swinging, you should be able to stay off the ground and travel stylishly all over the city. No excuses.

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Spider-Man: The city I protect is New York City. It is my home, my playground, my responsibility.

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Mary Jane Watson: [about her play] Come *swing* by later and get the tickets.

Peter Parker: [surprised] What? Oh, yeah.

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Spider-Man: Wait! What's your name?

Black Cat: Me? I'm Black Cat, and I just crossed your path. Now if you'll excuse me...

[Black Cat flips off of the rooftop and leaves]

Spider-Man: Whoa.

[Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and swings away on a web rope]

Spider-Man: Black Cat, huh? Black Cat seems okay. Maybe a bit of an attitude, though. I wonder if there's a Mr. Black Cat. Oh, what am I thinking?

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Man: Hey Spidey! Lookin' good!

Spider-Man: Back at ya!

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Tour Guide: Whoa! That Rhino is one tough cookie. You don't wanna get hit by him. Luckily, you've got Spider-Sense. See that flash on your head? No, on the screen, not on your real head. That's a warning that you're about to be attacked. When you see it, press the grab button to dodge out of the way. In addition to the obvious advantage of not getting pummeled, the dodge can also set up attacks and turn the tide in a fight.

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Rhino: No good, Small Fry!

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Rhino: I heard you was so great, but you're just a kid in a stupid costume!

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[Spider-Man touches and activates a Hint Marker]

Tour Guide: Time for a little Geography lesson. Inwood Hill Park is the northernmost point in Manhattan. See? Your brain isn't rotting during the video game! You're learning something!

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Quentin Beck: I'm better than you, Spider-Man, and today, I'm going to prove it!

Spider-Man: ...Your parents never hugged you, did they?

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Spider-Man: You missed your calling as a playground designer, Beck.

Quentin Beck: And you missed yours as a rejected has-been, but that will be corrected soon enough!

Spider-Man: Psychologists call that "rejection", Beck.

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Spider-Man: Hey, Mysterio! Does your Mothership know where you are?

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Mary Jane Watson: Peter! I'm so happy you made it.

Peter Parker: Hey, I'm not always late.

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Spider-Man: Now we turn it up a notch... BAM!

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[Spider-Man approaches a man in trouble]

Spider-Man: What's the matter?

[Suddenly, several robbers stand behind the scared Man to challenge Spider-Man]

Man: Hey, Spidey! Is your refrigerator running? 'Cause I sure am!

[the thugs charge at Spider-Man, but he fights them away easily]

Spider-Man: No, but I've got Prince Albert in a can!

[Spider-Man notices some of the thugs trying to run off]

Spider-Man: Hey! Where're you going?

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Black Cat: Nice night for a little swing through the city, isn't it?

Spider-Man: I don't get you. Last time you were an ice queen, but now you're friendly. Make up your mind!

Black Cat: It's called a woman's perogative. It's in the rule book. Look it up!

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[after learning that people are stuck on a sinking boat]

Spider-Man: All right. I'll find some way to help them. Guess it's good this costume isn't Dry Clean Only.

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[Spider-Man saves a man from falling off a building and sets him down on the floor]

Man: Oh, thank goodness. I was sure that was it for me.

Spider-Man: Hey, would I let you down?

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[Spider-Man saves a man from falling from a building and sets him down on the ground]

Man: I'm saved! I can't believe it!

Spider-Man: Oh, I'd never let anyone splat.

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[as Spider-Man is being beaten by Doctor Octopus]

Mary Jane Watson: Oh, I can't watch!

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[Spider-Man saves the Blonde Woman from the sinking boat and sets her down with the other rescued people from the boat]

Blonde Woman: That water is pretty dirty! I'm glad I didn't end up in there!

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Herman Schulz: Spider-Man! I don't know how you found me, but there's no way you're getting me this time!

Spider-Man: Hey, Shocker. You look different somehow. Have you been reupholstered?

Herman Schulz: Heh. Still a comedian, huh?

Black Cat: Come on, Spider. Let's take this guy out.

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[Spider-Man gets onto the sinking boat and picks up a man with his webbing]

Spider-Man: Need a hand? Your boat seems to be sinking.

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[Spider-Man starts to beat up on a jewel thief]

Spider-Man: Aren't diamonds forever? Couldn't you have waited a day?

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[Spider-Man pushes the Change icon to switch clothes to become Peter Parker]

Peter Parker: All the world is my dressing room.

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[Spider-Man hangs upside down on a web above three defeated muggers]

Spider-Man: You okay?

Mary Jane Watson: Yeah. Great timing.

[Spider-Man releases his web, lands on his feet and stands before Mary Jane]

Mary Jane Watson: What are you doing here?

Spider-Man: You know me. Always hanging around.

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Tour Guide: There are plenty of ways to fill your hero meter: fight, do tricks while swinging around the city, and generally try to be stylish. What's "stylish", you ask? What am I, a dictionary?

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Tour Guide: Hey, here's a tip for you: going fast is stylish. It may not sound like much, but getting up some speed can actually be pretty tricky. Of course, I'm sure you'll come up with some clever ways to do it. 'Cause you're a cheater.

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Tour Guide: If you do the same type of combo twice in a row, you'll end your style chain, so try to mix up your moves. Remember, repetition is never stylish.

[yawns]

Tour Guide: It's boring!

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Tour Guide: Doctor Octopus. I don't want to give anything away for you, but he's kind of the main trouble maker in this little drama.

[brief pause]

Tour Guide: What do you mean you already knew that? Sheesh. No appreciation.

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Tour Guide: If you do the ol' tap-web-to-disarm-thug trick on a thug with no weapon, you'll blind that sucker and send him into full-blown panic mode. This is great fun at parties, too.

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[Spider-Man lands on the roof of a speeding car and proceeds to pound it]

Spider-Man: You need to pull over and calm down!

[the damaged car stops and the driver gets out to look at the damages]

Man: Oh, no! Why did you have to wreck my car?

Spider-Man: Don't drive angry.

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Tour Guide: Style advisory: dodging is stylish. Let's face it. When thugs hit you, you look like a tool.

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Mary Jane Watson: Hey, you made it! It's great to see you.

Peter Parker: It's great to see you, too.

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[Spider-Man lands on the roof of a speeding car and pounds it]

Spider-Man: Stop, before someone gets hurt!

[the damaged car stops and the driver gets out to see the damage]

Man: My car!

Spider-Man: Hey, I told you to stop!

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[Spider-Man lands on the roof of a speeding car and pounds it]

Spider-Man: You need to pull over and calm down!

[the damaged car stops and the driver gets out to look at the damage]

Man: How am I going to explain this?

Spider-Man: Maybe you'll think about that the next time you decide to flip out.

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[Spider-Man starts to fight Doctor Octopus on top of a train]

Spider-Man: Mary Jane didn't do anything!

Dr. Otto Octavius: Did Rosie do anything? Did she?

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[as his tentacles swat at Spider-Man]

Dr. Otto Octavius: Fight me! Stand and fight me!

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[as his tentacles swat at Spider-Man]

Dr. Otto Octavius: When I catch you, I'll tear your legs off!

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Tour Guide: If you buy the Cannonball Kick from the Spidey Store, and I recommend it, you can actually attack while swinging. Get good at it and you'll be knocking thugs over like bowling pins. Hey, bowling, there's an idea...

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[Spider-Man lands on the roof of a stolen car and starts pounding on it to get the driver to stop]

Spider-Man: This bugging you? I'm not touching you!

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[Spider-Man follows after Black Cat and finally catches up to her]

Black Cat: You're finally here? I was just about to settle in for a little nap.

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[Spider-Man talks to a citizen]

Spider-Man: Is something wrong?

Old Woman: Spider-Man, an armored car down the street is being robbed!

[down the street, a Thug holds a gun at a Police Officer with his hands behind his head]

Police Officer: If I could just... reach... my utility belt!

Thug: Give me a break!

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[Spider-Man talks to a citizen]

Spider-Man: What's the matter?

Woman: Oh, no! The boat is sinking!

[Nearby, several people are standing on a sinking boat and they wave their arms]

Man: It was only supposed to be a three hour tour! A three hour tour!

[Spider-Man runs off to the boat]

Spider-Man: This looks like a job for... some kind of *swimming* super hero, but since none are around, I guess I'll have to do it.

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[Spider-Man picks up a wounded man with his webbing and swings off on a web-rope to take him to the hospital]

Spider-Man: Try not to puke, okay?

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[Spider-Man picks up a wounded Old Woman with his webbing and he swings off on a web-rope to take her to the hospital]

Spider-Man: I know swinging isn't super-relaxing, but, uh, try to... relax.

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[while fighting the Shocker]

Spider-Man: I've been meaning to ask. How's your absorbency compared with the leading brand?

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Spider-Man: I can't see you any more.

Black Cat: Miraculous blindness?

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Spider-Man: Rhino is that a horn on your head or are you just happy to see me?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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