Breakfast on Pluto (2005) Poster


Patrick "Kitten" Braden: If I wasn't a transvestite terrorist, would you marry me?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Not many people can take the tale of Patrick Braden, aka St. Kitten, who strutted the catwalks, face lit by a halo of flashbulbs as "oh!" she shrieks, "I told you, from my best side darlings."

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: The fantastic tale of Eily Bergen.

Bertie: I can't wait to hear the ending.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But you haven't even heard the start.

Bertie: I can't wait to hear that either.

Billy Hatchett: [finding that Patrick has taken all of the guns] Fuck. Don't you know what this means? Do-do you know what these guys are like, Paddy?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Don't let this come between us, Billy.

Billy Hatchett: Shut up! Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do? Fucking Jesus!

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.

Billy Hatchett: Where are they, Paddy? Tell me, where are they?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Now, what is this you mean, my darling?

Billy Hatchett: The guns, you little fucking whore! Where are they? The guns! It's all too fucking serious! Don't go fucking me around.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, all of a sudden, everybody's getting serious! Serious, serious, serious.

Billy Hatchett: I'm not fucking joking, Patrick! Where are they?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I told you to call me Kitten.

Billy Hatchett: Don't fucking know me. You don't know where I've gone. And if they come, if they fucking come, you tell them nothing. I mean nothing.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Whatever you say, darling.

Billy Hatchett: You're way out of your league, Patrick. You don't know what you're dealing with. Don't fucking know.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, I do. I know, all right. I knew you were only joking about the roses... and the sweets, too, probably. But it was nice while it lasted.

[Hatchett drives off]

Robin 1: She doesn't look anything like Mitzi Gaynor!

Robin 2: What do you know about Mitzi Gaynor?

Robin 1: Nothing. But as Oscar Wilde said, "I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about."

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And the other thing about the Phantom Lady was, Bert, she realized, in the city that never sleeps...

Bertie: What did she realize, Kitten?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: That all the songs she'd listened to, all the love songs, that they were only songs.

Bertie: What's wrong with that?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Nothing, if you don't believe in them. But she did, you see. She believed in enchanted evenings, and she believed that a small cloud passed overhead and cried down on a flower bed, and she even believed there was breakfast to be had...

Bertie: Where?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: On Pluto. The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?

Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.

Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!

Bertie: You know, Kitten, I made a decision a long time ago.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: What decision was that?

Bertie: That I wasn't destined for sentimental side of things. But if I ever did let myself fall for someone, I think it would be a girl like you.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Bertie, please, I have to stop you. There's something you should know.

Bertie: Or maybe what I should say is, it would be a girl not a million miles away from where I'm standing. What's the matter, Princess?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie, I'm not a girl.

Bertie: Oh, I knew that, Princess.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: You did?

Bertie: Of course. What I said was, it would be a girl like you.

2nd Biker: What do you see, bro?

Laurence: Sausages!

2nd Biker: No stars?

Laurence: Stars... and sausages!

Ma Braden: I'll walk you up and down the streets before the whole town in disgrace!

Young Patrick Braden: Promise?

Mr. Silky String: And just who is this "Phantom Lady"?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, it's my mother really, I call her that... to pretend it's a story... that's happening to someone else, you see.

Mr. Silky String: Why do you pretend that?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Beacause otherwise I might cry and never stop.

Mr. Silky String: If you cried, I'd make you stop.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, You would?... Oh how kind kind sir.

Mr. Silky String: Yes. I'd definitely make you stop.

Bertie: Fantastic!

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh serious, serious, serious!

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Dear Sir Unseen, I know my music and I am willing to bet you ten times whatever pathetic price you paid to get in this place that the dog's tail is 'waggely.' Now I want to hear you bark.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But Micky is devious and no matter how much you tell him, he simply won't stay down!

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I knew you were only joking about the roses. And the sweeties. But it was nice while it lasted.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Patricia Kitten, aka Deep Throat, had penetrated the deepest recesses of the Republican sphincter... with her secret anti-terrorist spray, named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's lucky number.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh... I do believe I have a small elfin dwelling on Wimbledon Common.

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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