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Breakfast on Pluto (2005) Poster

Quotes

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: If I wasn't a transvestite terrorist, would you marry me?

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Ma Braden: I'll walk you up and down the streets before the whole town in disgrace!

Young Patrick Braden: Promise?

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Not many people can take the tale of Patrick Braden, aka St. Kitten, who strutted the catwalks, face lit by a halo of flashbulbs as "oh!" she shrieks, "I told you, from my best side darlings."

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: The fantastic tale of Eily Bergen.

Bertie: I can't wait to hear the ending.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But you haven't even heard the start.

Bertie: I can't wait to hear that either.

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Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?

Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.

Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.

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Mr. Silky String: And just who is this "Phantom Lady"?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, it's my mother really, I call her that... to pretend it's a story... that's happening to someone else, you see.

Mr. Silky String: Why do you pretend that?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Beacause otherwise I might cry and never stop.

Mr. Silky String: If you cried, I'd make you stop.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, You would?... Oh how kind kind sir.

Mr. Silky String: Yes. I'd definitely make you stop.

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Billy Hatchett: [finding that Patrick has taken all of the guns] Fuck. Don't you know what this means? Do-do you know what these guys are like, Paddy?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Don't let this come between us, Billy.

Billy Hatchett: Shut up! Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do? Fucking Jesus!

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.

Billy Hatchett: Where are they, Paddy? Tell me, where are they?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Now, what is this you mean, my darling?

Billy Hatchett: The guns, you little fucking whore! Where are they? The guns! It's all too fucking serious! Don't go fucking me around.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, all of a sudden, everybody's getting serious! Serious, serious, serious.

Billy Hatchett: I'm not fucking joking, Patrick! Where are they?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I told you to call me Kitten.

Billy Hatchett: Don't fucking know me. You don't know where I've gone. And if they come, if they fucking come, you tell them nothing. I mean nothing.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Whatever you say, darling.

Billy Hatchett: You're way out of your league, Patrick. You don't know what you're dealing with. Don't fucking know.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, I do. I know, all right. I knew you were only joking about the roses... and the sweets, too, probably. But it was nice while it lasted.

[Hatchett drives off]

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But Micky is devious and no matter how much you tell him, he simply won't stay down!

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[Last lines]

Robin 1: She doesn't look anything like Mitzi Gaynor!

Robin 2: What do you know about Mitzi Gaynor?

Robin 1: Nothing. But as Oscar Wilde said, "I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about."

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And the other thing about the Phantom Lady was, Bert, she realized, in the city that never sleeps...

Bertie: What did she realize, Kitten?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: That all the songs she'd listened to, all the love songs, that they were only songs.

Bertie: What's wrong with that?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Nothing, if you don't believe in them. But she did, you see. She believed in enchanted evenings, and she believed that a small cloud passed overhead and cried down on a flower bed, and she even believed there was breakfast to be had...

Bertie: Where?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: On Pluto. The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I knew you were only joking about the roses. And the sweeties. But it was nice while it lasted.

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Bertie: You know, Kitten, I made a decision a long time ago.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: What decision was that?

Bertie: That I wasn't destined for sentimental side of things. But if I ever did let myself fall for someone, I think it would be a girl like you.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Bertie, please, I have to stop you. There's something you should know.

Bertie: Or maybe what I should say is, it would be a girl not a million miles away from where I'm standing. What's the matter, Princess?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie, I'm not a girl.

Bertie: Oh, I knew that, Princess.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: You did?

Bertie: Of course. What I said was, it would be a girl like you.

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2nd Biker: What do you see, bro?

Laurence: Sausages!

2nd Biker: No stars?

Laurence: Stars... and sausages!

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh... I do believe I have a small elfin dwelling on Wimbledon Common.

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Bertie: Fantastic!

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh serious, serious, serious!

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Dear Sir Unseen, I know my music and I am willing to bet you ten times whatever pathetic price you paid to get in this place that the dog's tail is 'waggely.' Now I want to hear you bark.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Patricia Kitten, aka Deep Throat, had penetrated the deepest recesses of the Republican sphincter... with her secret anti-terrorist spray, named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's lucky number.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [when threatened by two IRA men] Oh, come on then, just do it. I've nothing left to live for in this stupid serious world.

Horse Killane: Ah, fuck him. He's not worth a bullet, the mental nancy boy.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Why can't you be bothered killing nancy boys? You kill everyone else.

Jackie Timlin: I'm fucking warning you. Do you know what you're doing here? Are you on dope?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I wish that I was, Mr. Killing Man. Why, do you have any?

Jackie Timlin: You're way out of your league, sunshine.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Not that again - "OUt of your league., out of your league. Oh, you're in over your head, in over your head." Oh, for heaven's sake. Surely you've one bullet to spare between yous?

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1st Biker: When I ride my hog, you think I'm riding the road?No wy, man. I'm travelling from the past into the future with a druid at my back.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Druid man or druid woman?

1st Biker: That doesn't matter. What matters is the journey. You know where it goes, baby?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Where?

1st Biker: We'll visit the stars and journey to Mars, finding our breakfast... on Pluto.

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Charlie: You said it'd be a disaster, like you.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Worse, probably.

Charlie: But I love you, you fucking disaster.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: If I volunteer, Irwin, can I have pink glasses, please?

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Eily Bergin: Oops. My skirt and housecoat are riding up. Better abort this task at once or we'll have an exploding clergyman filling the air with pent-up sexual energy. Oh, no! "Priest grows wings in latest miracle."

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Eily Bergin: Oh, I'm all wet, Father. What are you doing down there, Father? Are you playig squidgy with the Fairy Liquid?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over, while writing the essay about his conception as he imagines it in class] But she was soon to realise it wasn't Fairy Liquid he'd been playing with down there.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [aloud, writing the words below his finished essay] The End.

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over] No, it wasn't Fairy Liquid at all.

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Irwin: I see four green fields. Brits in one of them. But not for fucking long.

1st Biker: No politics, man. Border Knights don't allow them. Jams the astral highway.

Irwin: So why do you cal yourself the Border Knights?

1st Biker: Because the only border that matters is the one between what's in front and what you've left behind.

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Charlie: Saint Kitten?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Mm-hm. He or she was an acolyte of St. Patrick. Wore a dress. As did St. Patrick, actually - a hairy dress. Quite ruined her complexion.

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Mrs. Coyle: [in needlework class] And they're for your sister, Patrick?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Mm-hm. She really needs a bit of glamour in her life, Mrs. Coyle. But then again... don't we all?

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over] But did true love save Kitten from the hands of the beast, in that worst of all fairy tales? No. What saved Kitten was her precious perfume spray, bought for £2.99in Roches Stores on Henry Street before she left her beloved Emerald Isle.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: John Joe! John Joe, woohoo! John Joe! Not a Womble anymore?

John Joe Kenny: Don't talk to me about fuckin' Wombles. I'm in the Tower of London now. 30 smackers in the paw, boy. No questions asked. They're looking for a Mary Queen of Scots. Would you be up for it?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: They'd chop my head off surely.

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Charlie: What would it turn out like, Paddy? You know what I mean, don't you?

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: It'd be an absolute disaster. Like me.

Nurse: Now... I want you to read this leaflet. It outlines all aspects of the termiation procedure.

Charlie: Termination? You mean this is an abortion clinic?

Nurse: Yes, of course it is.

Charlie: Oh. I thought it was a fertility clinic.

[gets up and leaves]

Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [to the nurse] I think she's changed her mind. Thank you.

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Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I just want to belong. I'd be your best prisoner. I'd cook and I'd clean. And I'd sweep and I'd iron all the uniforms.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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