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What do you get when you throw in "Leprechaun in da hood" minus the
leprechaun and mixing in vampires that are pretty fang-less, and adding
a pinch of lesbians for no good reason other than to have lesbians in
the mix (I'll bet dollars to donuts that the producers dictated that
they be in there somewhere)? Well i'll tell you what you get. Pure
unadulterated crap. Not even good crap, the kind you could enjoy if
properly inebriated. But the kind of filth that is just hard to watch
on account of the overly melodramatic acting, loopy stunted dialog, and
illogical storyline. Notice how I didn't particularly go into the plot
line of this putrid number. There's a reason for that, this being that
I'd rather not think back on this wasted hour and a half that I will
NEVER get back from my life no matter how hard I try. And the sad thing
is that there actually are worse movies dealing with vampires out
there. And that, my friend, is a sad state of affairs indeed.
Where I Saw it: Starz on Demand
Eye Candy: Janet Martin, Claire Mills, Ariana Fronti, and Meghan Stansfield all get topless
My Grade: F
Now this is honestly not the greatest movie but it's definitely refreshing to see a horror movie that comes from someone who has been taking notes. Lesbians are a must in these movies but since WB has taken over the Hollywood horror game, we'll only see lesbians in B movies. Is this as good as Near Dark? Of course not, not even close. But does this movie have some cool images, sexy lesbians, and fun fake looking blood? Yes. Naked lesbians? Jackpot! I can't stress enough to you that this movie has girls kissing and actually looking like they like it. People who rip this movie like their horror t.v. friendly and slick with a big budget. Fans of low budget fare will love this. Is the acting great? Not really but there are a few people who stick out. The guy who played the father and the angst ridden daughter who has been missing in action while sleeping with her sexy girlfriend both come through. There is some confusion with what this movie wants to be but it's still pretty ambitious considering the budget is probably around 500 grand. This movie kind of meets in the middle, it has suburbia America meets the ghetto. There are even a few new attempts at disturbing imagery and it works okay. It's always fun to see a vampire cut open her breast and feed her newly turned baby. Haha... classic.
Okay, this isn't the greatest vampire film ever made, but it does have something. Though the early part of the story seemed very unfocused, it did draw all the strings together to create a film that was satisfying, one whose characters did interest me. What I found most refreshing was that the people were people I could relate to--a middle class family and kids who loiter on street corners. The story wasn't typically clichéd, leaving me waiting eagerly to see what happened next. I also liked how free will and self-control emerge as the film's message. I'd almost suspect that this film inspired the new television Moonlight series.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Suburbia is inflicted with vampirism once a slumlord(..who is bitten by
vampires when he finds them lodging in one of his buildings)poisons his
family with tainted blood(while also biting his younger daughter). A
chain reaction of new vampires ignites when those unaware, such as
Rakeem(Delpano Wils), his sister Tisha(Kobina Wright)and his other
friends who show up at the slumlord's house to cause a ruckus due to
the death of a young child thanks to a fire. That fire was indeed in
the slumlord's building and Rakeem wants retribution, but instead finds
himself in a pretty scary situation..the slumlord's family are out to
get their blood. Jen(Janet Martin)seems to be the only member bitten
who can control the evil raging..at least enough to assist Rakeem in
his goal to kill as many vampires as he can. But, the main goal is
killing the slumlord who seems to be in control of the carnage that has
emerged. We get a glimpse of how bad the vampire plague has spread
through the scurrying shadows that often pass the houses outside..there
seems to be no hope in Rakeem and Jen's cause to end the vampire
disease that's spreading quickly and endlessly.
Gory micro-budget flick from director Desi Scarpone suffers from unoriginality. He really brings on the vampire feeding and never holds back on the bloodletting. When he focuses on the violence, it's quite effective. It's the other problems that surface such as a plot that really has nowhere to go. It's basically an endless supply of vampire attacks and one-liners from those infected who praise being inflicted with their disease for they say it has changed them for the better. The black characters represented here are mostly gangster stereotypes or those very nervy about being in a suburban white neighborhood. There is an obvious array of profanity and irrational behavior as if they can't think for themselves and are clueless as to how to get out of their situation. Rakeem is really the only fully developed character of the bunch, but Wils doesn't have the kind of talent to bring life to him. The film, interesting enough, mostly has females doing the biting and such. That alone makes this an interesting little watch regarding vampire mania. But, it follows the basic vampire formula and the single location of one of two suburban homes really stifles the ambition of where Scarone wishes to take his film.
Crazy plot, good (considering the material) mixed with bad acting
(listening to some of the "gangstas" urban accents fade in and out was
particularly painful) and the last few minutes would be better left out
(IMHO). That said, if you are a heterosexual male (such as myself), and
find such things entertaining (as I definitely do), it contains
bucketloads of gratuitous lesbian vampire sex with more genuine an
attempt at a plot than I've seen before in such genre blending titles.
Every time you see a beautiful woman in this movie (lots) it isn't long
before she's intertwined with another one in inappropriate fashion. And
if you can enjoy the occasional "B" movie but always wish they had more
hot lesbian vampires then this is freakin' Citizen Kane. It's a touch
strange - not too much blood for a vampire movie but an awful lot for
This movie was totally enjoyable and it made me want to hi-five the director. I'll buy a copy if I see it in a video store for sure.
This is an unusual movie to say the least. We'll start with the bad:
the acting's pretty spotty, the plot mostly incoherent, the film stock
sort of cheap looking. The editing, especially, is bad.
But there's a lot going on here, and some of it calls into question the border between bad film and high art. Have you ever had an incoherent nightmare? One which followed no plot, but which seemed to telegraph events, characters, and ideas to you? Parts of this film can be summed up as such: "I was in my house with my family, and for some reason we were celebrating a birthday. But there was a blackout, and then when my dad showed up, he was a acting strange. Then there were these gangsters..." And throughout there is a lingering since of doom, no escape from the vampires/zombies.
It's hard to say how intentionally the director is reaching beyond purely escapism. But I think 'Dark Town', although overall not a success, is better horror than 'Urban Legend', 'I Know What You Did...', 'Wrong Turn' or any other number of teen slashers, if more for the ideas than for the execution.
I have seen plenty of vampire movies in my day. And this one goes from
bad to worst. The acting is horrible with all of the performances
reminiscent of a bunch of five year olds during a Christmas pageant.
The plot line makes no sense offering no explanation for why any of
this is happening and showing us that there is no consequence for evil
taking over a neighborhood. I kept waiting for there to be some
redeeming quality to this movie. Something to make it seem like I
didn't waste an hour and thirty minutes of my time. Alas, even lesbian
sex could not pull this one out of the gutter.
Maybe this is meant to be a parody. In which case...it still sucked (no pun intended). So do yourself a favor, if you see Dark Town at the video store, don't rent it. If it comes on cable, don't watch it. We have to send a message to these people that bad movies will not be tolerated.
Well, the short version is the vampiric version of Romero's "Night of the Living Dead". The spreading infection. The group of dysfunctional family members. The house under siege (granted from within instead of from without). Add a solid dollop of Edward Albee's "American Dream" crossed with Lynch's "Eraserhead" and you MIGHT get the idea. It is gorilla film-making. Have no doubt about that. Overall, I still can't decide if I liked it or not. There is no adherence to mythology (in any universe I've seen vampire films from) so you kind of have to suspend disbelief over a deep pit of boiling lye. But, if you can, you might find it interesting. And, even if you can't, it has a certain "Train Wreck" like charm.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Dark Town" is a halfway decent vampire film.
As they're trying to celebrate their father's birthday, Sandy Armstrong, (Alison Dian Miller) Curtis Jr., (Rwaling Curtis) Heather, (Sarah Horvath) and Jen, (Janet Martin) along with her lover Lisa, (Meghan Stansfield) get together and await Curtis, Sr., (Joel King) who arrives late. When it finally gets started, a group of gang-members, Rakeem, (Delpano Wills) O-Dog, (Derrick Wayne Smith) Geoff, (Siaka Harding) and Tisha, (Kobina Wright) crash the party to escape a drug deal gone bad, only to find that the entire family are vampires. Trying to escape from the vampires, they eventually turn and fight the group from the inside.
The Good News: This wasn't as bad as it was said to be. It's biggest asset is that it delivers exactly what genre fans of this kind of film enjoy. It's over-the-top violent, features enough cheesy action to keep it interesting and there's also a couple of great nudity scenes thrown in for good measure. The violence is pretty graphic, and is quite surprising for a vampire film. Aside from a huge amount of neck bites that freely flow as in normal movies, this one also has a new twist for the vampires in that they now gorge on the flesh of their victims. There's several victims who are surrounded and have several different vampires and begin feasting, ripping up the body quite messily. It pumps up the gore factor quite nicely. There's also nice decent action in here, quite easily seen in the final showdown. Not only highly gory, but features some action scenes as well. And then any film that features a lesbian vampire certainly scores some points in it's favor as well.
The Bad News: The one main problem with this film is the same inherent problem all vampire films have, which is that vampires aren't that scary. That is the focus of the film, and it doesn't really provide a way to make them scary. It's a problem with all the vampire films, and this one is no exception. It's also very hard to really figure out what's going on here. There's lot of different subplots going on with no real conclusion to any of them and it just makes for a disjointed beginning half. Nothing really isn't explained either, and is just mostly taken for granted without much explanation. It makes it very easy to get confused in the middle section where nothing is ever shown yet every one is suddenly a vampire. It simply doesn't make much sense all around. There's also a big question mark as to the finale. Just another example of it not really making much sense.
The Final Verdict: A nice, gory ride that never really explains itself. It gives the gore, action and nudity when needed, but really struggles when that isn't around. Vampire fans might be more inclined to check this out, while those not really into them might want to exceed with caution.
Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity and a sex scene
A callous slumlord brings a vampiric infection home to his dysfunctional suburban family on the same night that some of his tenants show up to teach him a lesson. Much bloodshed ensues. When someone asks me to a recommend a genuinely entertaining low budget, straight-to-video gore fest, this is one of the few that gets the nod. Director Desi Scarpone and writer David Birke manage to deliver some genuine humor and chills in this film. It is energetic, nervy, and often gratuitous in both gore and nudity. The father is a fun character who revels in his corruption and evil. He's one of the few memorable characters I've seen in a recent DV horror film. Is this film for all tastes? No. Is it a shining example of film-making? No. Is it always coherent? No. But let's face it, if you're reading this review, you must already be a fan of bad horror films. You could certainly do worse than this.
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