Haunting Desires (TV Movie 2006) Poster

(2006 TV Movie)

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Put the stake away, this flick "barely" passes muster!
bheyer12 August 2004
I set the VCR timer for this movie. which was being shown in the wee, wee small hours of the morning, on Cinemax; well past my bedtime, anyway. The title intrigued me, and so did the brief description, outlining the plot. Okay, so I just viewed the tape - in broad daylight - NOT that there were any scares, or anything. The "plot" of the film (flimsy as it is) takes up about 5 minutes of running time. The other 85 minutes is soft core porn: male-on-female, female (lezbo action!) on female and male on multiple females. It's standard cable fare, LOTS of writhing but NO penetration. Hardcore porn star, Evan Stone (who looks like a cross between Fabio and Skid Row lead singer, Sebastian Bach), plays "Adrian," a 2,000 year old vampire. Unfortunately, he speaks in a soft whisper, making it hard (something the movie fails to do!) to understand him. Maybe if the producers of this flick had had the resources ($$$), they could've gotten horror movie veteran, Christopher Lee, to dub Evan's lines. As it is, it looks like they had a $1.98 budget. Anyway, the lead actress, Beverly Lynne, is H-O-T!! With her spiky blonde hair, she reminded me of a young Lorrie Morgan. You Country music fans KNOW who I'm talking about! The other babes in the movie are pretty hot, too, especially the busty brunette vampire who figures in the film's "twist" ending. I place sarcastic quotation marks around the word twist, because the denouement can be seen a mile away.

There you have it: cheesy plot, cheesy dialogue, tepid acting, lazy direction, lame vampire villain and sort of makes it wiggle in your pants soft core sex. It's too bad they didn't make a hardcore version of this movie; I just might've purchased the DVD. Bottom line, I give this film a 4 out of a possible 10, JUST because of Beverly Lynne's sterling presence. Otherwise, I'd rate it a 2.
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As Far As Terrible Movies Go... This One's Okay...
hokeybutt28 May 2005
HAUNTING DESIRES (2 outta 5 stars) I don't even know why they bother with these "softcore" things. People who are into porn don't like them because they don't "show anything" and people are *aren't* into porn are going to be bored out of their minds. No stars, bad acting, bad dialogue, cheap sets and costumes and a bunch of writhing, naked bodies (with no reproductive organs in sight) every ten minutes. In any case... I *did* find some entertainment value in this... the movie is actually one of those rare flicks that is *so* bad that it's actually funny. The ending especially is a hoot! Cheesy special effects mixed with a jaw-droppingly ridiculous plot twist! Spunky newspaper columnist teams up with a grumpy detective to solve a series of vampire murders linked to a late night sex club. The lead male characters' performances are so awful that you'll be shaking your head in amazement. Detective Trout (Jay Richardson) resembles comedian Jay Thomas with all the talent bled out of him. Checking his bio on IMDb you will discover that this is far from his first movie... he's been in dozens! How does someone this bad keep getting work? I mean, he must be cheap... but still! The dude playing the "seductive" vampire leader (Evan Stone) looks like a cross between Fabio and Quentin Tarantino... and he speaks his lines in a garbled whisper so that you can never tell what the heck he is actually saying. That's just as well since all the dialogue form this movie seems to be stolen from other, better movies and TV shows. Lead "actress" Beverly Lynn is actually pretty good compared to most actresses in these kinds of movies... plus she's easy on the eyes, even in the scenes where she's clothed. She'd probably stick out like a sore thumb in a movie with real actors but, for what it's worth, she does a good job here.
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erotic horror flick
dingchen20 May 2004
In this cheesy erotic horror flick, four vampires base themselves in a stripclub where they have easy access to victims, but when one of their killings is too high profile a reporter (Beverly Lynne) starts looking into what's going on. The only scary thing about this flick is how low budget it is,

but that doesn't matter. Beverly's got one smokin' bod and she really gives her all to her sex scenes. Also, she's not afraid to flash a little beav when it's called for.

The sex scenes are very well done and I've got to say you should run out and buy this as soon as it's available on DVD. Also starring Fallon Pfeifer, Kylie Wyote and Jenna West.
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Haunting Desires? how about Crap that is still haunting my toilet...
jeff9341 July 2004
Whenever I watch a porno I'm used to seeing good looking guys and hot women. Well when I turned on my Dirrect TV sat box and saw that show I read the description and it looked good. It said that a woman falls for a vampire so I was possibly thinking something along the lines of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Boy was I freaking wrong. There was a hot woman in it. But the guy looked like the Ass End of a dolphin I mean this guy looks more like he would be good at working in the meat department of your local grocery store. Than there was a old man. YOU NEVER HAVE A OLD MAN IN A PORNO ITS LIKE A BIG NO NO. This movie was a joke from the opening credits to the very end all I can say is that they got it right when they picked the lead actress. She ain't no Nikki Fritz, Jenna Jameson or Brinna Banks but she gets the job done. My vote for this movie?

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Ladies, take note!
golden_muse22 July 2004
Ladies, the next time your boyfriend suggests the rental of an erotic movie, steer him away from "Bikini Bimbos Blitz Part 40" and toward "Haunting Desires."

Ignore the pouty lass on the front cover; the one with the intimidatingly large breasts who (as far as I can tell) wasn't even in the video. This film boasts a leading man performance by the gorgeous porn star Evan Stone, who plays the vampire Adrian.

The subject of Adrian's blood lust is a smart, spunky reporter named Jill. Jill is one of the few bright, purposeful heroines I've seen in a softcore film, and she was played with refreshing skill by Beverly Lynne. With the help of a policeman sidekick, the witty Jay Richardson, she investigates the murder of a patron at Adrian's night club; an eerie midnight social club known as the Underworld.

As the investigation continues, Jill is faced with several questions. Are these people vampires? Who will be the next victim? Do the girls who work at Adrian's club have an allergic reaction to all forms of clothing? (O.K., maybe that was just a question I was facing. I'm sure the guys will appreciate all the beautiful women in the film, including Lynne, Kylie Wyote, Fallon Pfeifer, and Jenna West.)

Jill's biggest challenge lies in resisting the temptation of Adrian himself, played with seductive charm by Stone. Generally an adult film actor, he shines in this softcore role; I hope he does more mainstream films. His character's intimate interaction with Jill is the best part of the film.

"Haunting Desires" is a film for those who enjoy sexy vampire flicks, erotic thrillers, and 'escapist' entertainment. And Ladies, you'll never find a sexier 'neck biter' than good IL' Adrian.
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Beverly Lynne having sex again
Dr. Gore23 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers

I saw this on cable the other night. Good old Beverly Lynne. Once again she graces us with her presence in another late night skin flick. She plays a photographerÂ…again. This time there are strange goings on at a vampire strip club. Beverly needs a hot scoop and goes nosing around the club. Soon the vampires will try to help Beverly unleash her haunting desires. I'd say they were fairly successful in helping Lynne get in touch with her wild side. If only they could have helped meÂ…

The problem here is pretty obvious. The vampire women are not attractive. Sorry to say but these creatures of the night could not raise the dead. Know what I mean? Beverly tries her best but it's of no use. I've complained about her short haircut enough so I'll just say that I like her better with long hair. The only two good scenes in the movie had some Lynne action in them. The first scene was when the main vampire paid Lynne a visit in her bedroom. That was OK. The second decent scene had Beverly in a three way with two vamps. But overall this flick is not worth the time. It's best to let this haunting pass you by.
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very bad and very lame
lthseldy120 June 2004
This flick was terrible, the only thing that I found haunting was this troll looking Fabio wanna be vampire that looked like he had a very bad face lift and terrible sex moves try to seduce a female into becoming one of his kind.

One of those low budget soft porn horror flicks which seems to be the norm in todays horror films really bores me to tears. This one isn't even erotic enough to be porn or horror. And the ending was even more terrible than the film itself. The leading lady suspects that her husband is cheating on her and ends up in a nightclub which provides entertainment such as lesbian acts, domination and live sex acts (all of which are so lame not even the cheapest porn star would do a better job) ends up talking to this weird vampire that tries to cater to her "hidden" desires by seducing her into lesbian stage dancing and making love to him. She is accompanied by a detective that happens to be trying to catch this vampire and is also lured into his cult of perverts. The detective is what spoils the movie; his acting is lame, his character is useless and his part in the ending was beyond laughable. Avoid this one.
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Boring, by-the-numbers T&A horror
capkronos10 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Many a B-movie fan blame Jim Wynorski, David DeCoteau and this film's director, Fred Olen Ray (using the alias "Nicholas Medina"), for turning the low-budget horror industry into one big, dull, plot less soft-core sex romp. All three have some enjoyable flicks under their belt, but this one's unfortunately a prime example of their detractors' gripe; a vampire movie with awful acting, lame writing and a tired, boring plot about bloodsuckers working out of a strip club. Beverly Lynne, a short-haired blonde who used to be a pro football cheerleader and frequently acts in these things, is Jill, a struggling reporter for "Crime Beat" magazine. She goes undercover in the club to investigate a murder. Jay Richardson virtually replays his 'Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers' part as an aged detective who calls everyone around him "kid." The owner of the exclusive "Underground" strip club is played by long-haired porn actor Evan Stone, who proves he's an old-fashioned kind of vampire by keeping his pants on during his sex scenes. He talks softly, wears a frilly shirt, mascara and black fingernail polish, is seen for about two seconds as a winged monster, claims to be two-thousand years old and presides over a live sex show where everyone wears masks. One evening, he shows up at Jill's place and tells her to "give into the darkness," which results in an aerobic sex romp that seems more like a professional wrestling bout than a piece of erotica. Jill is bit (on her breast), but never becomes a vampire.

There are at least half a dozen time-devouring topless strip sequences and just as many sex scenes. We also get some S&M, a threesome, two token lesbian scenes, some awful computer effects (the slow-motion bullet is hilarious) and typical Ray movie in-jokes. The ending is as mundane as they get. I've also seen enough of these things by now to recognize that the music itself was even reused scores from 'Haunting Fear' and 'Sorceress.' The composer of those scores is a guy be the name of Chuck Cirino, who has been contributing great, catchy theme music to B films for twenty years and deserves some recognition for it. He's given a "special thanks" in the end credits, along with Gail Harris (the great star of Wynorski's 'Hard to Die' and 'Sorority House Massacre II'), Skye Blue, Richard Gabai and George Stover.
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I'm sad *spoilers*
movieman_kev12 August 2004
Warning: Spoilers
A fruity gothed out vampire runs a stripclub of his minions when reporter, Jill, snoops around with a private dick called Trout. With an ending straight out of "Bordello of Blood". And as crap as "Bordello of Blood" was, it's a million times better then this garbage. Wow, first Jim Wynorski lets me down with his 'even nudity can be dull' opus that is "Busty Cops", now Fred Olen Ray gives us this steaming pile (Not to mention Bruce Springsteen not knowing when to shut the F up about politics and just sing the damn songs). ALL my 80's favorites are going down the tubes. MAN, I'm depressed!!

My Grade: F
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Almost a Watchable Softporn Horror Movie
tabuno13 October 2017
Beverly Lynne and Evan Stone almost carry this campy horror movie but is letdown by a stodgy script and a less than courageous attempt to really portray the special attraction of the vampire's seductive myth. What's special about Lynne's performance is her ability to take the B-rated dialogue and turn in a relatively cool performance with her use of acting, body movements, verbalization of the scripted lines that captures the exact nature of the stereotypical inflection of her character, Lynne actual becomes the two-dimensional character on screen with no artificiality.

There are plenty of dead spots with a lot of nothing particularly happening. The erotic excitement is spotty and the director and scriptwriter never go far enough to let Lynne really squeeze the R-rating factor for all its worth. Her scenes however are memorable except for a rather horrendous typical B-movie ending. This movie had potential to capture that rare element of horrific seductive appealing pleasure but ends up only wetting one's appetite of what could have been.
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