Robert Hanssen: [first words on meeting] Tell me five things about yourself, four of them true.
Eric O'Neill: I'm sorry?
Robert Hanssen: It's a *game* we used to play, at the subanalytical unit. Keep ourselves sharp. It's lie detection.
Eric O'Neill: Oh.
Eric O'Neill: I don't think I'd be much good at bluffing.
Robert Hanssen: [rolling eyes and walking off] That would've counted as your lie, right there.
Eric O'Neill: My name is Eric.
Robert Hanssen: No, your name is Clerk. And my name is Sir, or Boss, if you can manage.
Eric O'Neill: Yes, sir.
Robert Hanssen: And if I ever catch you in my office again, you're gonna be pissin' purple for a week.
Robert Hanssen: I wrote a program last night using just ones and zeros, just to see if I could do it.
Eric O'Neill: I had all these answers for her. 'He's misunderstood.' 'He's trying to fix the bureau and no one will listen.' 'He was born in the wrong century.' 'His father's a jerk.' I got a whole list. But you know something Sir, at the end of the day it's all crap. You ARE who you are. The why doesn't mean a thing does it? DOES IT?
Robert Hanssen: I... matter... plenty.
Robert Hanssen: It doesn't really matter; the judgement of other men... I know what I've done.
Eric O'Neill: There's no such thing as the Information Assurance Division, is there?
Kate Burroughs: No. We created that to lure him back from State. 9930 was built for him, too. Video, audio, bafflers in the vents, heat sensors, motion sensors. Probably enough microwaves in that office to cook a chicken.
Robert Hanssen: [voiceover] One might propose that I am either insanely brave or quite insane. I'd answer neither. I'd say, insanely loyal. Take your pick. There's insanity in all the answers.
Robert Hanssen: [voiceover] Eventually I would appreciate an escape plan. Nothing lasts forever.
Eric O'Neill: [proffering his "five things about yourself, four of them true"] I won Boy Scout merit badges in every category except Rifleman. I haven't been to confession since high school. There are several words I constantly misspell. My favorite drink is a vodka tonic. And I'm the only male in the last four generations of my family who hasn't served in the military.
Robert Hanssen: So what is your drink?
Robert Hanssen: I never cared about making headlines. I wanted to make history. People intel tracks are the ones who want to wipe America off the map. And somehow that always meant a little more to me than being promoted.
Robert Hanssen: Now, could the mole be someone from the Bureau, not the CIA? Of course. Are we actively pursuing that possibility? Of course not. Because we're the *Bureau*. The Bureau knows-all. Cooperation is counter-operation, and that's the mentally. Of course the enemies of this country aren't so picky. They'll work with anyone who shares their hatred of us. The Bureau hasn't learned that lesson yet.
Robert Hanssen: The "why" doesn't mean a thing, does it?
Kate Burroughs: That was the worst spy in American history you brought down, and you're just going to walk away.
Eric O'Neill: Can you think of a better time to walk away?
Kate Burroughs: Nope.
John Ashcroft: [news clip] Sunday, the FBI successfully concluded an investigation to end a serious breach in the security of the United States. The arrest of Robert Hanssen, for espionage, should remind us all, every American should know, that our nation, our free society, is an international target, in a dangerous world.
Robert Hanssen: Can't trust a woman in a pants suit. Men wear the pants. The world doesn't need anymore Hillary Clintons.
Robert Hanssen: Start with Linux A-B servers, which puts us into Red Hat.
Robert Hanssen: You know why the Soviet empire fell?
Eric O'Neill: Good morning?
Robert Hanssen: Godlessness.
Robert Hanssen: There are pallets of new computers in every corridor of this building.
Eric O'Neill: I'll just fill out a req form.
Robert Hanssen: You're not listening... just go get one; those req forms are for bureaucrats.
Robert Hanssen: The perks go to the guys who play the game, the ones who politick.
Eric O'Neill: What if he's smarter than I am?
Kate Burroughs: A couple of years ago, the bureau put together a task force. Lots of assets had been disappearing. So this task force was formed to find the mole who was giving them up. Our best analysts poring over data for years looking for the guy, and they could never quite find him. Guess who was put in charge of the task force? He was smarter than all of us. Actually, I can live with that part. It's the idea that my entire career has been a waste of time, that's the part I hate. Everything I've done since I got to this office, everything we've all been paid to do, he was undoing it. We all coulda just stayed home.
Kate Burroughs: I'm sorry you're having problems at home. I'd offer you some advice, but it wouldn't be worth much. I don't even have a cat.
Robert Hanssen: Can you imagine, sitting in a room with a bunch of your colleagues, everybody trying to guess the identity of a mole and all the while, it's you they're after, you they're looking for? That must be very satisfying, wouldn't you think?
Kate Burroughs: You're going to make agent, Eric. Isn't that what you wanted?
Eric O'Neill: It was.
Kate Burroughs: Until you came over to my apartment and saw the TV dinners and no cat?
Agent Sherin: [calling in] O'Neill just talked him back in...
Dean Plesac: How'd he manage that?
Agent Sherin: Hard to say. Ah, from here it looks like he may have proposed marriage.
Kate Burroughs: The director's running it. He sees your pages every day.
Eric O'Neill: [looks nervous]
Kate Burroughs: [smiles] Keep them coming, by the way. Our audio's missing about ninety percent of what Hanssen says in there.
Eric O'Neill: He mumbles.
Kate Burroughs: He does a lot of things, this guy.