The Witches Hammer (2006)

User Rating:

3.8/10   

Director:

James Eaves

Writer:

James Eaves (writer)

Release Date:

22 December 2006 (Japan)

Genre:

Horror

Plot:

On the day of her death a normal woman is transformed into a genetically engineered vampire and trained to kill. She is sent on a mission to stop the Souls of the Damned being unleashed into our dimension.

Plot Keywords:

Vampire | Assassin | Demon | Quest | Covert Agency

Cast

George Anton	...	Vampire
Tina Barnes	...	Edward's Wife
Stephanie Beacham	...	Madeline
Claudia Coulter	...	Rebecca
Andrew Cullum	...	Polite Man
Tom Dover	...	Hugo
Harold Gasnier	...	Le Cardinale
Adrian Johnson
Liza Keast
Sally Reeve	...	Charlotte
Magda Rodriguez	...	Kitanya
Jonathan Sidgwick	...	Edward (as Jon Sidgwick)
Sam Smith	...	Masked Man
Jason Tompkins	...	Oscar

Runtime:

91 min

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Certification:

UK:15

Filming Locations:

Southampton, Hampshire, England, UK

Company:

Amber Pictures

Are you kidding me?

I'm in Iraq right now doing a job that gives plenty of time for watching movies. We also have access to plenty of pirated movies, this gem came along with 11 other movies, and this is easily the worst I've seen in a long time. I've seen a few other reviews that claim this movie doesn't take itself too seriously, but really, I think that's a cover up for the fact that its horrible. It's not tongue in cheek, the writers really thought they were improving on the movie Blade. This movie is just one notch above Vampire Assassin, which if you haven't seen, i recommend. At least that movie is so unbelievably bad that you'll laugh harder than you thought possible. This is right at that cusp of no redeeming qualities what so ever. from the bad acting, to cliché visual (ie opening credits), to the adobe premier special effects. they couldn't even get blanks for the guns, which may have to do with where the movie was filmed, but if you're going to use effects, make them close to accurate. as for the cast, it seems like they just went to a tae bo class and picked up the first not to ugly chick that walked out. Once again, like Ron Hall in Vampire Assassin, don't let stunt folk act, they can't. Also, the comment about this being a "return of old vampire movies"...no, it's not. This is exactly what all new vampire movies are about. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Blade, Underworld, they're all about some super star fighting the vampires. This is the newest vampire genre, with bad blood, fake screams, and cheesy over acting. obviously anyone who wrote a good review about this is somehow connected to the movie, or friends of the cast. But what do I care, I paid 33 cents for it. Anyway, to wrap this up, someone in their first semester of film school decided to make a movie, I give them credit because it's better than I could do. Of course I also know I can't make movies so I don't try. I do know how to watch movies though. I work 12 hour nights, 6 days a week, I've seen several thousand in the year I've been out here and this was so bad that half way through i was hoping for a mortar attack.