Elliot:
[
Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.
Boog:
[
Eating animal crackers] Yeah, and the giraffes taste almost exactly like the elephants. That's messed up.
Boog:
The woods is no place for a bear!
Elliot:
Ian's right, I'm a loser
Boog:
No you're not a loser
Elliot:
Yes I am!
Boog:
No you're not!
Elliot:
Yes!
Boog:
No!
Elliot:
Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck. What do you call that?
Boog:
Ahhh... a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... I look like a bear, I talk like a bear but I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods!
Elliot:
Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog:
I ride a unicycle for crackers.
Elliot:
I have a glass eye.
Boog:
I can't snap.
Elliot:
I thought log was a colour.
Boog:
I can't see my feet!
Elliot:
I killed a man!
[
Both laugh]
Elliot:
[
stuck in the ground] Ok, righty tighty
[
turns left]
Elliot:
Leeefffttty loosey
[
turns right]
[
explaining the woods to Boog]
Elliot:
Okay, Forest 101: These tall stick things are called trees. The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.
Elliot:
I feel a little light-headed.
[
His one remaining antler falls off]
[
repeated line]
Porcupine:
Buddy!
Shaw:
How far does this conspiracy go? How many animals are in on it? God bless America! I hope the bald eagle hasn't turned!
Ian:
Boog? What's that short for? Booger?
Beaver #1:
Hey, what you got?
Beaver #2:
Wood. What you got?
Beaver #1:
Wood. You wanna trade?
Reilly:
It's a pet! He'll give us away!
Mr. Weenie:
I've been living a lie!
[
Tears off his sweater]
Mr. Weenie:
Take me with you!
Ian:
Herd, circle formation!
[
the other deer surround Boog]
Ian:
You pinheads, that's an oval! More... circuley.
Boog:
[
Helium voice] Hello, idiot.
Elliot:
[
Helium voice] That's Elliot.
Boog:
All right, fish. Give it up for Boog!
Boog:
We've been going around in circles!
Elliot:
Cir-cle. One time around.
Elliot:
I get it. You're like a pet.
Boog:
I'm nobody's pet!
Elliot:
[
Holding up a water dish that reads "Boog"] Right.
Shaw:
It walks... like a man!
Shaw:
[
enters his cabin and looks in his refrigerator] Somebody's been eatin' my candy!
Shaw:
[
sees his overturned chair] Somebody's been sitting in my chair!
Shaw:
[
goes to his toilet] Somebody... FORGOT TO FLUSH! Aaargh!
Elliot:
[
when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog:
A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot:
Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.
[
Boog reluctantly goes to the bush]
Elliot:
Show us your GRRR face, nature boy!
Elliot:
[
singing, to the tune of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"] Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/ He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee/ One day the elf could take no more/ so he went to bang on the rude dwarf's door/ and what do you know, they suddenly both were marrrrried.
[
about the coffee he found in the dumpster]
Elliot:
Yuck. Yuck. Yuck! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's like freedom in a cup!
McSquizzy:
Is this a private fight or can anybody join? Because McSquezzy wants in.
Boog:
Good, 'cause we're gonna need your nuts!
Elliot:
And your acorns, too!
Boog:
[
holds Elliot over a cliff] Take a good look around, Elliot. What's missing?
Elliot:
Wait, don't tell me, I know this one...
Boog:
Timberline is missing!
Elliot:
Oh, I was just going to say that.
Boog:
My garage is missing. My breakfast, lunch and dinner are missing! My life is missing, and it's all... your... fault!
Elliot:
What are you going to do?
[
drops him into his hand]
Elliot:
AHHHHHHHH!
[
realizes that he wasn't falling]
Elliot:
Ha ha! you're funny. I was like, "No way" and then I was like, "Uh-huh!" Ha ha ha ha!
[
Boog throws him over his shoulder]
Elliot:
I call them Woo-hoos. Like in... WOO-HOO!
Mr. Weenie:
I've been living a lie!
Elliot:
Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a DUCK!
Beth:
You're in big trouble mister!
Boog:
Shush!
[
Boog passes out]
Bobbie:
Alright, Mr. Weenie, Mama's gonna go take a dip.
Mr. Weenie:
Good. Mama's getting kind of gamey.
[
Boog has just found out that he's in the woods]
Boog:
Where's home? It's gone! Someone stole it!
Beth:
Shaw! That guy really chaps my khakis.
Gordy:
Shaw, open season isn't for three days. What is that buck doing on your hood?
Shaw:
It ain't my fault. I hit him while driving.
Gordy:
Where, on the interstate?
[
flashback to Shaw veering off the interstate and hitting Elliot]
Shaw:
[
chuckling] Sorta.
McSquizzy:
That was just a warning, alright? Try it again, I'll be kicking your furry, brown bahookie!
McSquizzy:
Oy, you late for Sunday school? This is McSquizzy's turf. Nobody messes with McSquizzy, coz that's me!
Boog:
What?
McSquizzy:
Touch a needle on this tree, and I'll give you such a doing!
Boog:
You and what army?
[
an army of sqirrels appears]
Squirrels:
Oy!
Boog:
Oh, that army.
McSquizzy:
Aw, Mister Happy didn't go off.
Gordy:
You know, the longer you wait, the harder it's gonna to be for him to adapt.
Beth:
Oh, I'm sure he'll... that is, I think he'll...
Gordy:
And the harder it's gonna be for you to leave him.
[
as a truck blows up]
Hunter:
Hey Earl, ain't that your truck? Oh, that's a bummer.
Boog:
When I'm a bear-skin rug, they can walk all over me. Until then, I ain't going down without a fight.
Boog:
Get out of here!
Elliot:
Hey, I took you out of the garage. You should thank me.
Boog:
Thank you?
Elliot:
You're welcome.
Shaw:
Don't trust him. Pets are double agents. the moment you turn your backs, he'll shiv you.
Bobbie:
Oh, no he can't. We had him fixed.
McSquizzy:
Ged off my trees ya buck-toothed sporran!
Boog:
[
after waking up in the wild face-to-face with a flower] Ooooohhh... pretty
Boog:
[
stumbles into garage and sees Dinkleman staring from his bed] What are you looking at? I told you not to wait up!
Boog:
The Woo-Hoo bar. She's my lady. Smooth and creamy. So bad, I shouldn't, yet I will.
Elliot:
You know, I've been thinking, we should have a secret handshake, and like nicknames and stuff. Like, I can call you Boogster, and you can call me the Incredible Mr. E. You like that? I just made it up.
McSquizzy:
Mess not with the Fuzzytail Clan, protectors of the weak, crusaders of the righteous, guardians of the pine.
Reilly:
Yo, O'Toole!
O'Toole:
Yeah, boss?
Reilly:
I want you to cantilever that cedar on a bias by the north side.
O'Toole:
Huh?
Reilly:
Put a twig in the hole.
O'Toole:
Oh.
Reilly:
Rookie.
Reilly:
[
about Boog] Hey, guys. Check it out. The largest carnivore in North America. The grizzly bear.
Elliot:
And he's a good dancer. We're gonna be in a show.
Gordy:
You're not his mother.
Beth:
I'm not mothering him.
[
Boog taps on window]
Beth:
Excuse me a moment. Go to bed, Boog!
Elliot:
[
standing with his butt in the air, his antler stuck to the ground] Hey, Boog! Look, no hands! Though I think I'm getting a sunburn.
Boog:
All right, where's home?
Elliot:
Or maybe it's a moonburn. Check it out.
[
Boog slaps him in the butt]
Elliot:
Ow!
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