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A Witch's Tail (2000)

| Adult | Video 2000
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Credited cast:
Chris Cannon
Jon Dough
Steve Hatcher
George Kaplan
Joel Lawrence
Anna Malle
Julie Meadows
Alexandra Silk


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2000 (USA)  »

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Colder Than a Witch's Tit
16 March 2008 | by (Brugge, Belgium) – See all my reviews

Adult mail order pioneer Adam & Eve teamed up with fledgling producer Simon Wolf and veteran filmmaker Bud Lee for a series of supernaturally flavored fornication flicks, kicking off with an ambitious trilogy about a naive romance novelist – played by Mrs. Lee, Asia Carrera – lured into witchcraft through the legacy of her supposedly deceased aunt. Unfortunately, it was a case of reach far exceeding grasp. Not having ventured beyond its inaugural entry (A WITCH'S TAIL), I can't comment on any potentially dramatic improvement in further installments, A WOLF'S TAIL and A DEVIL'S TAIL respectively, but I'm not about to get my hopes up. As it stands, and cutting some slack for a couple of reasonably well-realized f/x along the way, WITCH rarely raises above routine, right down to its five sex scene structure connected by bouts of dreary plot exposition. Any sort of fantasy needs a bit of budget to work and the word on this one's frugal. Lee's talent remains limited to his exotic taste in women, initially riding the coat tails of partially Native American first spouse Hyapatia towards fame and fortune as an okay performer (perfectly fine in Bob Chinn's THE YOUNG LIKE IT HOT, for instance) but not much of a director, prolific output notwithstanding.

Poor Jennifer (Asia) is suffering from writer's block, unsure of where to go next from the Civil War carnal connection between Southern Belle Julie Meadows (she of the Cheshire Cat grin) and wounded soldier Chris Cannon she has just concocted. Her publisher (reliable Joel Lawrence, who gave nothing short of a career performance in Antonio Passolini's splendid RAW) wants her both to make the deadline and have dinner with them, requests she declines for varying reasons, when she receives word that her estranged aunt Lola (the late Anna Malle, tragically killed in a car crash in 2006) has passed away and named her sole beneficiary in her will. Taken to Lola's magnificent mansion by an all too friendly real estate saleslady (ravishing Rayveness, whose supposed likeness to TV actress Shannen Doherty got her cast in the amusingly titled BACK TO BEVERLY HILLS 9021A, rapidly retitled BRENDA to avoid legal repercussions), she's greeted – well, sort of – by the curmudgeonly caretaker (George Kaplan, doubling as screenwriter, doing his best Sean Connery impression) before retreating for a well-deserved night's rest. A pair of ghostly lovers, A&E contract starlet Cheyenne Silver and Steve Hatcher (formerly "Jake Williams"), keep her from sleeping however by boinking on the balcony with wafts of dry ice for cheapskate atmosphere. At least, the sex improves when Rayveness puts the moves on Asia by the pool, our heroine being revealed as a virgin at this stage. Though obvious breast enlargement and pierced labia work against the illusion, she still manages to convey innocence and nervous excitement at the prospect of impending carnal knowledge quite effectively. Another heated highlight proves far more gratuitous from a narrative viewpoint. Neighbor Alexandra Silk welcomes Jennifer by throwing her a little party where she performs an impromptu threesome with the publisher and auntie's ghost. Off-kilter aspects (Jennifer seems annoyed rather than surprised ; Lawrence appears surprised as she slaps his face after-wards) suggest that this only takes place in her imagination, but Lee's a far too utilitarian director to imply anything beyond the obvious. Still, good chemistry at least makes for a solid screw here. Clearly intended as a virgin sacrifice by auntie, who's either an acolyte or the reincarnation of a centuries old witch, Asia's rescued by Kaplan – himself the present day personification of her wizard nemesis – who morphs into Jon Dough to take her maidenhead. Hey, it's a dirty job… Tempting though it is to read all sorts of personal tragedy into Dough's detached performance, in light of his suicide half a decade later, the prosaic reality was that persistent substance abuse always made him an extremely variable presence throughout his lengthy career, capable of the sublime (Michael Ninn's SEX and LATEX) as well as the ridiculous.

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