American Dad! (2005– )
Stan Smith: You know, son, the great thing about First Love is that it's the first of many
Steve Smith: But how will I forget my feelings for Akiva?
Stan Smith: Well you see son, as time goes by you'll find- Amy! Amy why won't you love me! Bwah-ha-ha! I don't wanna live!
Roger the Alien: [after a hallucinogenic meal] I just don't have the words for it. Schmooblydong. Is that a word?
Snot Lonstein: Wow! Uncensored nudity! This game must be from Japan.
Toshi Yoshida: Unlikely. Those women are not underage schoolgirls.
Klaus: There's an old German saying: "Don't blame the fish!" There are other sayings, but they mostly involve genocide...
Klaus: I'll tell you something, though. You've just eaten all the potato salad Francine made for the Deacon's Wake! Ha ha ha!
Roger the Alien: And you didn't stop me? How could you do that?
Klaus: Yeah, still German...
Roger the Alien: [Steve has an electric guitar. Roger has an Octopus, an abacus and a hairdryer] Your thing looks more interesting
[throws his stuff away]
Klaus: If they cut your head off, try to blink your eyes for as long as possible. I have a theory to test...
Steve Smith: Jeez Klaus, how can you be so terrible?
Klaus: I'm German! It's what we do.
Klaus: Can I come?
Francine Smith: Oh, what's the point, Klaus? You're a fish!
Klaus: Ah. Francine, could you hit that Boom Box on your way out?
Edie Brickell: I quit! I give up! Nothing's good enough for anybody else...
Football Legend: Stan, I thought the CIA was done with me! I still have the headaches and the nightmares! What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?
Stan Smith: No, I'm not here about that. It's my kid's birthday!
Barry Robinson: Why are you talking like that?
Snot Lonstein: Tooooo muuuuuuuchhh Zooooooolooooooftttt aaaaaandd Iiiiiiiiii'mmmmmm stiiiiiiillll soooooo saaaaaaadd...
Roger the Alien: [real estate scam] Oh look, another serious buyer.
Husband: But you're so young
Wife: How can you possibly afford this house?
Steve Smith: Remember the kid from Jerry Maguire?
Wife: Of course.
Steve Smith: Well, he pays me to call hotels before his arrival to ensure they have pillows that can support his massive head. I do quite well. Which is why I'm prepared to offer you $99,000. And not a penny more.
Roger the Alien: Oh, yeah? Let me see the cash. I don't need to see the cash. Well, Hannigan, what's it going to be? You gonna offer me 100 K, or are you going to let Jonathan Lipnicki's bitch make you look like a punk in front of your hot wife?
Wife: Well, are you?
Roger the Alien: Can a Brother get a "Run Roger!"? Damn it! Got to be all self-runnin' and whatnot...
Stan Smith: We need to have a talk about point of view. Every villain is the hero of his own cinnamon apple monkey toaster.
Steve's Creepy Russian Uncle or Whatever: Perhaps it was the haste of a man who wanted to take his revenge like his Vodka, in one dreadful swallow.
Steve's Creepy Russian Uncle or Whatever: To win Competition your mind must be Hard and Joyless, like Russian Turnip.