American Dad! (2005– )
Stanley Smith: Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?
Stanley Smith: Sorry I'm late, I was getting a piping-hot cup of coffee. It's far too hot to drink, but luckily my leathery man-mouth can take it.
Stanley Smith: Francine, why did you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?
Stanley Smith: Francine, this happens every time! First you pull out a gun and threaten to shoot me. Then I pull out *my* gun. Eventually, your arm gets tired, you leave, and we have passionate "nobody-got-shot" sex.
Newspaper headline: Optimist Drowns in Half-full Tub.
Newspaper Headline: Israel pulls out of Gaza; Gaza not pregnant.
Newspaper Headline: President finally gets joke about his last name.
Stanley Smith: [Talking to Roger] You're the Adam Sandler of this house and nobody wants punch drunk love, just give us waterboy
Stanley Smith: Francine, your roots are showing!
Francine Smith: I know. My hairdresser lost his touch when he decided he was straight. Apparently, it is a choice.