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Stanley Smith: Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?

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Stanley Smith: Sorry I'm late, I was getting a piping-hot cup of coffee. It's far too hot to drink, but luckily my leathery man-mouth can take it.

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Stanley Smith: Francine, why did you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?

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Stanley Smith: Francine, this happens every time! First you pull out a gun and threaten to shoot me. Then I pull out *my* gun. Eventually, your arm gets tired, you leave, and we have passionate "nobody-got-shot" sex.

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Newspaper headline: Optimist Drowns in Half-full Tub.

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Newspaper Headline: Israel pulls out of Gaza; Gaza not pregnant.

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Newspaper Headline: President finally gets joke about his last name.

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Stanley Smith: They're like vampires... or the gays!

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Stanley Smith: Guys, I can explain! I was lying to you!

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Stanley Smith: [Talking to Roger] You're the Adam Sandler of this house and nobody wants punch drunk love, just give us waterboy

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Stanley Smith: Francine, your roots are showing!

Francine Smith: I know. My hairdresser lost his touch when he decided he was straight. Apparently, it is a choice.

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Roger: Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.

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Roger: Those chocodiles, oh my God, these chocodiles, oh my God, these chocodiles, oh my God!

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