Steve is desperate to date a girl and determines the best way is to become a varsity athlete. Steve tries out for the water polo team but fails. Klaus agrees to help Steve become better and hides in Steve's trunks so ...
When Hayley and Steve leave for their respective summers of fun, Francine looks forward to her newfound alone time with Stan. There's only one problem: Roger is still living in the attic fighting for every second of attention he can get. When Francine teaches Roger to be self-sufficient, he finally gets a place of his own. Stan fears that he will bore Francine into leaving him and cooks up a scheme to bring Roger back to the house and liven things up. Meanwhile at camp, Steve and his pals fall prey to a scheme that doesn't quite have the effect they were hoping for.
Francine lets herself go right before she and Stan renew their vows after she learns that Stan married her for her looks. Stan responds by having his retinas removed so that he doesn't have to look at her.
When Hayley rejects Stan's advice, he decides to start a dry-cleaning business run by a bunch of strippers. But when the business fails miserably, he is forced to become a male stripper to make some extra money.
The Smiths' savings are gone, so Stan selfishly takes out a second mortgage and buys a racehorse so that he can save his SUV. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends try to help an obese shut-in to make some money.
Stan gives Francine "love coupons" for Valentine's Day, but refuses to honor them once he becomes preoccupied with his very own CIA cyborg. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a classic '80s movie.
Stan discovers that Roger is one of his all-time heroes: a member of the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team. But when he also discovers that Roger used steroids, he turns to his other hero for advice on how to handle it.