- [Ash and Scribbs watch DCI Sullivan walk to his car]
- Scribbs: If he turns out to be gay, I'm going to shoot myself.
- [Scribbs has been to a clothing consultant]
- Scribbs: They look at your hair and your skin tone, and decide what colour your clothes should be.
- Ash: So what did they say about you?
- Scribbs: That I was an "autumn" - that I look best wearing subdued tones.
- Ash: Subdued?
- Scribbs: Tones. Apparently bright colours don't suit me. The mistake I made was dressing as a "summer". Which is why I've been attracting the wrong kind of men.
- Ash: So you're saying the right kind of man's attracted to a woman in a mushroom-brown outfit?
- Scribbs: D'you think I look a bit...?
- Ash: No, Scribbs, you look fine. You look absolutely fine.
- Scribbs: Honest?
- Ash: Well, actually...
- Scribbs: Truth.
- Ash: You look like a fungus!