Miss Cast Away (2004)

User Rating:

1.9/10   

Director:

Bryan Michael Stoller

Writer:

Bryan Michael Stoller (writer)

Release Date:

28 January 2008 (Australia)

Genre:

Adventure | Comedy | Fantasy

Tagline:

There's trouble in paradise.

Plot:

A spoof that combines Cast Away with Miss Congeniality, Planet of the Apes, Love Boat, Gilligan's Island, The Sixth Sense, Jurassic Park, and more

Cast

Eric Roberts	...	Maximus Powers
Charlie Schlatter	...	Mike Saunders
Joyce Giraud	...	Julie
Stuart Pankin	...	Noah
Evan Marriott	...	Joe Millionaire
Michael Jackson	...	Agent M.J.
Eugene Greytak	...	Your Holiness (as Gene Greytak)
Richard Halpern	...	Groovy Guy
Lyle J. Mortensen	...	Vice Persident
Douglas Dunning	...	Commander Harry
Patrick Mares	...	The President
Thomas McKenna	...	Ron Philips (as Stuart Rigby)
Kamilla Bjorlin	...	Holly
Audra Wise	...	Tina
Juanita A. Romano	...	Alaska

Also Known As:

Miss Castaway and the Island Girls (USA) (new title)
Silly Movie 2 (Canada: English title) (DVD title)

Runtime:

USA:90 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1

Certification:

Italy:T | Spain:18 | Singapore:PG

Filming Locations:

Hawaii, USA

Company:

Island Productions

Trivia:

Filmed on location at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.

Movie Connections:

Spoofs Spider-Man (2002)

The ONLY way to make this movie fun...

Do the following: Get a copy of this movie and a friend. Wager the friend $10 that they can't sit through this entire movie. They cannot divert their gaze or be distracted by anything. Now watch your friend. Win or lose, you get $10 of entertainment.

It angers me to no end when people see a movie and are quick to give it 1 out of 10, or sum up their thoughts with "it sucked". (And when asked "Why?", they respond, "Just because." Arrgh.) That is why this movie exists. It's sole purpose is for me to say, "There! THIS is a horrible movie! THAT is 1 out of 10!".

This movie is absolutely appalling.

While the recent trend of movie parodies has forced them to become increasingly formulaic, this movie falls short in every single aspect. It's not funny. It's not entertaining. And for some of the parodies, it's completely inaccurate! Horrible acting. Unfunny dialogue. A witless story. Terrible "special effects". One INANE gag after another. And to make matters even worse, there isn't even gratuitous nudity to somehow make it even fleetingly worthwhile.

This movie leaps past idiotic, stumbles over stupid, and lands face first on moronic. Even I, who loves a good "check your brain at the door" movie, found myself physically agitated watching this. This movie isn't even "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" so-terrible-it's-good bad... IT'S JUST BAD.

NOTE: I actually challenged a friend to watch this as described above. Not only couldn't he make it all the way through, but he had a headache and needed a couple minutes afterward because he felt a little ill. True story.

I could not accentuate this rating any more... a resounding 1 out of 10!