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Psychonauts (Video Game 2005) Poster

(2005 Video Game)

Quotes

Raz: So... this is it. The mental world.

Elton Fir: It looks like a dentist's office.

Raz: A *mental* dentist's office.

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Raz: Bobby! This isn't what it looks like. I...

Bobby Zilch: Tee... vee...

[smacks Raz]

Bobby Zilch: TV!

Raz: [Going over to Lili] Wow, it sounds like you've got a nasty cold.

Lili Zanotto: I know. But listen to this! I traced the psychic interference back to Coach Oleander's radio! He's been broadcasting his insane dreams of world denomination in his sleep!

Raz: So he really IS stealing children's brains to make weapons.

Lili Zanotto: I know! Isn't it great?

Raz: How could this possibly be great?

Lili Zanotto: Because we're in the middle of an honest-to-goodness psychic emergency.

Raz: Yeah! And Sasha's not here. He left on some official Psychonauts business.

Lili Zanotto: Milla left a note saying the same thing!

Raz: Lili! An evil madman is building a fleet of psycho-death tanks to take over the world, and we're the only ones who can stop him!

Lili Zanotto: OH MY GOD! Let's make out!

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Milla Vodello: [Raz cannot enter water on his Levitation ball] Hmm... that shouldn't be happening. Do you some aversion to water, darling?

Raz: It's a very long, involved story.

Milla Vodello: Oh. I understand. You know, darling, it's very normal for a boy your age, so don't be afraid to talk to me if you need to. I'm here for you.

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Dogen Boole: [Dogen's brain has been stolen] Tee... vee...

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Coach Oleander: Is your name "Joey"?

Raz: No.

Coach Oleander: Because I'm going to call you "Slowy Joey".

Raz: That's not my name.

Coach Oleander: What's that, Slowy? I can't hear you! You're talkin' too slow!

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Elton Fir: Chaaaaarge!

[Runs onto the obstacle course, only to explode seconds later]

Raz: What kind of obstacle course is this? That kid just got killed!

Coach Oleander: He isn't dead, his astral projection just got kicked out of my mind. And I'll kick your *as*tral projection out of my mind too if you don't get moving!

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Dr. Loboto: Now tell me if this smells like...

[shouts]

Dr. Loboto: your doom!

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Dr. Loboto: Well, I've reviewed your chart, little girl. The bad news is, we're going to have to remove your brain... strap it into an armoured battle tank, and have it shoot down innocent civilians with its concentrated psychic death beams!

Lili Zanotto: I'm gonna kill you so much.

Dr. Loboto: The good news is that your insurance should cover the whole thing.

[pauses]

Dr. Loboto: Hey, is it getting warm in here?

Lili Zanotto: No, I'm trying to set you on fire through this stupid hat!

Dr. Loboto: What a delightfully mean little brain you have! Just what we want!

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[overlooking part of Oleander's Basic Braining obstacle course]

Bobby Zilch: We can't get past this. This is stupid!

Raz: Hmm, looks like a test. There's probably a secret, more advanced route.

Bobby Zilch: What's that supposed to mean? You think you're more advanced than me, New Kid?

Raz: Sorry, what?

Bobby Zilch: I'm not stupid. You're stupid. The Coach is stupid. This whole camp is stupid! That thing flying towards you is stupid!

Raz: [while turning around] What's flying towards me? Whoa!

[Bobby kicks Raz off the ledge]

Bobby Zilch: Bobby Zilch's foot, that's what! Ya stupid new kid!

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Sasha Nein: Oh... so tacky! Can't... look... directly at it!

[Talking about a very colourful lamp]

Sasha Nein: [to Raz] But I control those feelings, focus them, concentrate, and... Release!

[He psi-blasts the lamp to smithereens]

Sasha Nein: And... the world is a better place.

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Sheegor: I'm not going to bring you any more brains if you're going to be so mean to them!

Dr. Loboto: No matter what I do?

Sheegor: No, no matter what!

Dr. Loboto: Not even if I...

[he reaches towards the stove to turn up the heat on a pot over which he holds Mr. Pokeylope, who's Sheegor's beloved turtle, hostage]

Sheegor: No, don't!

Dr. Loboto: Not even if I cook you a little...

Sheegor: Don't, doctor! No!

Dr. Loboto: ...A little turtle soup?

Sheegor: Please, Dr. Loboto! No!

Dr. Loboto: Hm, a nice, hot turtle soup, hmm?

Sheegor: Noooo!

Dr. Loboto: Nothing better on a cold night like this than some boiling hot soup!

Sheegor: You leave Mr. Pokeylope alone!

Dr. Loboto: Oh. Okay.

[slight pause]

Dr. Loboto: Are you sure?

Sheegor: Nooo! I mean, YES!

Dr. Loboto: Alright, alright... Oh, why don't I just go ahead and heat you up a cup? It's made from turtles! Turtles that you love! Isn't that right, Mr. Pokeylope?

Sheegor: Stop-it-stop-it-stop-it-stop-it-stop-it-stop-it!

Dr. Loboto: Okay, well maybe I'll just make some for myself.

Sheegor: [Running from the room] Yaaaaaahhh!

Dr. Loboto: Bring me a good brain, Sheegor, or Mr. Pokeylope becomes Mr. SMOKEY-lope! Ha Ha Ha HA! HOO HOO! HO HOO HOO! Smokey-lope! HAAAA!

[Speaking nonchalantly to the turtle]

Dr. Loboto: When you're a dentist, you have to learn to have a sense of humor, you know. It helps to calm the patient down.

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Boyd Cooper: Beware the cows! Not all milk is enriched!

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Sasha Nein: Young man, I hope you've learned a lesson here today.

Raz: Yes, I have... that shooting things is fun and useful!

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[Raz watches 3 G-Men interrogate a dying Rainbow Squirt]

G-Man: Who is the Milkman? Where is the Milkman?

Rainbow Squirt: Come closer... and I'll tell you...

[the box of Rainbow Treats explodes, killing the four of them]

Raz: Boy, am I glad I didn't buy a box of those...

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Raz: The view from up here is good, but I need to see more.

[Helicopter flies by]

Raz: I wonder what I could use...

[Helicopter flies by]

Raz: Oh well, I'll just have to think of something.

[Helicopter flies by]

Raz: I know, stilts!

[Helicopter flies by]

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Milla Vodello: I am about to warn you, young cadet. You are about to step into a living nightmare

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G-Man: Feces.

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Raz: Can you believe a great battle was once fought here, on the very ground that you now so peacefully graze? Many men died. Some did it for freedom and some for country. Others did it just because they had guns. It's a crazy world, isn't it? Hmmm? Don't you think it's crazy? Hey, I'm talking to you cow. It's because of me that you're not talking French right now. Shame on you, ungrateful cow.

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Sasha Nein: AUGH! why did I buy the CHEAP brain tumbler?

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G-Man: Plants need to have water poured on them because they have no hands to hold glasses of water.

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Raz: [holding a plunger as a disguise] I work in the sewers.

G-Man: Gross, I would never let you date my daughter.

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G-Man: [as a road crew worker] Look at that woman's breasts, they're large.

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Ford Cruller: Aw, poor little thing.

Raz: That poor little thing just tried to kill me about eight different ways!

Ford Cruller: Well that's not it's fault. This was once just a normal sized lungfish, minding it's own business in a mucus lined air bubble beneath a semi dry lake bed. But judging by the work done on it I suspect Maury has mutated it, accelerated it's growth, and has placed an implant in it's brain to make it do his evil bidding.

Raz: Aw, poor little thing.

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G-Man: [as a housewife] Although over time my husband will lose desire for me sexually, he will always love my pies.

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Lungfish Civilian: Oh no! Goggalor is headed for the orphanage!

Lungfish Civilian: [the building gets smashed] No, wait, that wasn't the orphanage!

Lungfish Civilian: Oh no, that *was* the orphanage!... for dogs, it was the puppy orphanage everyone!

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Den Mother: And the sea will run white with his rage!

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Hulking Lungfish: You may now call me by my name, Razputin. The name given to me by my people.

Raz: And what name is it,noble lake creature?

Hulking Lungfish: Linda.

[walks back into the lake]

Raz: What a magical lady.

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Dr. Loboto: This will only hurt until your brains come flying out.

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Ford Cruller: If you ever want to make me appear, you can do it with this special device.

Raz: Is that... a piece of bacon?

Ford Cruller: Oh yeah I just love bacon. I smell that stuff and I can't help it. I drop everything and come runnin'.

Raz: Ok... do you have like, a little baggie or something I can put this in?

Ford Cruller: Now you get a move on or I'll eat that right here.

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Dr. Loboto: Little boy, I'm afraid that you have a serious mental problem. The trouble orignates it this reagon, that we in the medical profession refer to as... THE Brain! You see son, its just no good! I hate to be so blunt but you have the Isanity of a manity!

Dogen Boole: I know... everybodys always saying that. Whats wrong with my brain docter?

Dr. Loboto: How should I know, I'm a dentist! But here's what I do know, when a Tooth is bad, you pull it!

Dogen Boole: But my teeth are fine

Dr. Loboto: Yes that brains got to go. Its the quickest way to cure what you have... INSANITY OF THE MIND!

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Bonita Soleil: I couldn't hear him much at all, really, until Gloria's mother hit the stage.

Raz: He didn't like her performance either?

Bonita Soleil: No, I mean "hit the stage," kersplat! Jumped from the catwalks while Gloria was in Paris.

Raz: ...Ew.

Raz: Yeah, that's what the janitor said, too.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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