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Quotes

George Gershwin: [Indiana Jones] Why can't I stop thinking about her?

[Gershwin Stands up from and gestures toward piano]

George Gershwin: Tell him maestro.

[Berlin approaches]

George Gershwin: It's very simple Boychick.

[Removes hanky, dusts piano, tosses soiled rag to song pluggers, sits and sings]

George Gershwin: A pretty girl/is like a melody/that haunts you night and day/She will leave you/and then/come back again/A pretty girl/is just/like a pretty tune.

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New York Cabbie: Men are scum.

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: All of them?

New York Cabbie: All of 'em!

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Perhaps you're looking for perfection.

New York Cabbie: Perfection? Mister, I gave up on that a long time ago.

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Cabbie: [interrupting Indy and Peggy kiss] Hey bub, you want this cab? Or are you just eating lunch?

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Indiana Jones: Who are all these people?

Kate: Writers, actors, painters, composers, anarchists, socialists. The usual village crowd. Do you know any of them?

Indiana Jones: Me? No, no, I just snuck in for some free food. Who's party is this, anyway?

Kate: Mine.

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Mack: As far as I'm concerned, you're an idiot.

[louder]

Mack: What are you?

Indiana Jones: I'm an idiot.

Mack: Correct. Now open your idiot ears and follow me.

[they walk through a door and go backstage]

Mack: You're job is to do all the idiot jobs that only an idiot wants to do. Like make the coffee, run the errants, scrape the stage.

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George White: Schwarz, you're fired.

Schwarz: Yes Mr. White, thank you. Now about these bills...

George White: Later, I have a show to put on.

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Indiana Jones: [about Gloria] She looks... eatable.

George Gershwin: She should. Her old man owns the biggest meat packing plant in New Jersey.

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Schwarz: Mr. White, about these bills...

George White: Schwarz, you're fired.

Schwarz: Can I have that in writing?

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Mack: Excuse me, Mr. Jones, I just hate to disturb you, but your lunch date's arrived...

Indiana Jones: But it's not even noon.

Mack: [shouting] And her damn limo is blocking half the damn street!

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Franklin Adams: Oh Mr. Jones, Tell me, have you forgiven your parents yet?

Indiana Jones: What for?

Franklin Adams: For naming you after the dullest state in the union.

Indiana Jones: Actually, I named myself, after my dog.

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Dottie: Welcome to the round table, Indiana Jones.

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Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Ah, the theater. Thank goodness I'm not late, eh?

New York Cabbie: Aw, mister, come on, please, don't give me a hard time, just tell me what happened.

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: How much is on the meter?

New York Cabbie: 37 dollars.

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: I can't afford to tell you.

[exits the cab]

New York Cabbie: Men.

[shouting]

New York Cabbie: You're all the same!

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Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: I see you're writing your review already.

Theatre Critic: You recognize me?

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: No, but I know a damn critic when I see one.

[grabs the critic's notepad]

Theatre Critic: Hey!

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Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Now you listen to me, my friend, cause I know whereof I speak. Now. I was once involved in putting on a show. George White's Scandals. The year was 1920. When Broadway was really Broadway and shows were really shows.

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Ann Penington: It's not her fault. That song's a turkey

George Gershwin: It's not a...

[imitating her voice]

George Gershwin: turkey. It's the best song I ever wrote!

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Gloria: Oh, poo. That silly show's more trouble than it's worth.

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George Gershwin: Can't you at least give one of them up?

Indiana Jones: But which one? Not Peggy... not Kate...

George Gershwin: And not Gloria, her old man's backing the show!

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Dottie: All's fair in love and showbusiness, Indiana.

Beatrice Kaufman: Haven't you ever noticed that Broadway is paved with blood?

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Alexander Woollcott: This is supposed to be a finale?

Ernest Hemingway: Listen fatso, if you don't shut up...

Alexander Woollcott: Sorry...

Ernest Hemingway: Thank you.

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Peggy: You're despicable.

Kate: You're out.

Gloria: You're fired.

Peggy: You're the lowest.

Kate: You're trash.

Gloria: You're on your own.

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Theatre Critic: You know something? I'm going to give this show a wonderful review.

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: A wonderful review? This crap? What are you, insane?

Theatre Critic: But, but what about all the young people?

Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: They should be ashamed of themselves. They should quit!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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