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Reviews & Ratings for
"Tales from the Crypt" Split Second (1991)

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13 out of 17 people found the following review useful:

Brion James lumberjack style!

Author: Coventry from the Draconian Swamp of Unholy Souls
9 March 2006

Brion James was a terrific but criminally underrated B-movie actor who sadly passed away in 1999, due to a heart attack. Because of his barbaric looks and imposing voice, James was frequently cast as the villain or homicidal maniac in second-class horror and action vehicles like "House 3", "Tango & Cash." or "Nature of the Beast" and his characters usually died in the most painful ways imaginable. It was to be expected that he would turn up in a "Tales from the Crypt"-episode sooner or later and that he would play the ultimate bastard! In this tale directed by "Highlander's Russell Mulcahy, James is downright fantastic as the robust and pathologically jealous leader of a lumberjack company. When he returns from a vacation as a married man, Steve Dixon violently tries to keep away all his employers from his sexy wife Liz. But the young bride is a vicious shrew herself, as she deliberately seduces a new and handsome workman just to bring some excitement in her dull life. The setting of one incredibly sexy girl (Michelle Johnson, who goes topless!) among a troop of rough macho men works very effectively and the screenplay foresees an exact right amount of black humor. The over-the-top gross ending is simply hilarious! Mucho recommended!

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Axe Splitting

Author: thebigeasy555 from Ireland
9 August 2006

My favourite story from 'tales from the crypt'. Brion Jones was born to play the part of the maniac lumberjack,axe swinging madman Steve Dixon.Having seen him before in Tango&Cash I can state this actor never got the proper credit he deserved. A jealous husband takes offence in his wife showing an interest in a hunky young worker he's just employed.And you know when Dixon finds out there's gonna be hell to pay!The young worker Ted(Billy Wirth)receives an almighty beating from Dixon leaving him blind.Now how is a blind lumberjack supposed to work? A tribute to black humour if there ever was one! The co stars do a pretty good job too supporting Ted when Dixon when he has his initial suspicions about his wife desiring another man.Dixon's behaviour making the bond stronger closer between the colleagues.One even stated he became a changed man when he got married.Though Ted should have done the wise thing and left when he could!

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

In MY top 3

Author: andreww31 from United States
9 March 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Michelle Johnson proves to be just a bit too irresistible. Her husband, an awesome Brion Jones, is racked with jealousy and hatred for anyone who even breathes near her. Hmm, I wonder if Johnson's real life ex husband, MLB player and a favorite of mine Matt Williams, felt the same way. Oh well, the intrigue and build up in this episode give it enough to fit into my top 3 Tales of Alltime. My other 2 star Joe Pantoliano as a circus freak with 9 lives and Andrew McCarthy loving Mariel Hemingway to death or is it the other way around. This trifecta of Tales is required viewing for Tale aficionados. All three endings are priceless and the acting Top-Rate. Seriously, no one mails in a performance, even the secondary characters. It's sad to see Brion Jones has passed away, his eyes and their evil portrayal is second to none.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Enjoyable episode

Author: Woodyanders ( from The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left
8 May 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Lovely, but jaded and promiscuous barmaid Liz Kelly (well played to the sultry hilt by the enticing Michelle Johnson) marries Steve Dixon (late, great villainous character actor supreme Brion James in peak brutish form), the wealthy, yet mean, jealous, and possessive owner of a logging camp. Complications ensue when the bored and lusty Liz falls for hunky new lumberjack Ted (a likable portrayal by the handsome Billy Wirth). Director Russell Mulcahy, working from a bright and inspired script by Richard Christian Matheson, relates the engrossing story at a constant brisk pace, offers a flavorsome evocation of the back country location, and tops everything off with a wickedly amusing sense of spot-on pitch-black humor (the gruesome conclusion with both Liz and Steve receiving their just nasty desserts is simply sidesplitting in an admittedly sick sort of way). James, Wirth, and Johnson all do sterling work in the lead roles, while Dan Martin lends able support as the hearty Snar and Tony Pierce has a nice bit as sleazy hick Banjo. The delicious Ms. Johnson makes for a marvelously sexy and predatory femme fatale (her cynical narration adds a nifty noirish touch), and, best of all, she even does an extremely tasty topless scene. Rick Bota's sharp cinematography provides a neat slick and sunny look. Brian May's spare shivery score likewise does the shuddery trick. A fun show.

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Split Second

Author: a_baron from United Kingdom
28 November 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Michelle Johnson stars as an accidental waitress in a dive where the sawdust on the floor is last night's furniture. Wise beyond her years, she is as cynical as any young woman can be, but when one of the patrons cuts up rough she finds herself accepting a spontaneous marriage proposal from a most unlikely knight in shining armour. Her instant husband is a wealthy older man who runs his own business, but the magic wears off before the honeymoon she never had.

"What is it about men? When they want you the first time, they don't care what anybody thinks of you, but as soon as they think of you as theirs, they want you to be as pure as the f*****g Madonna".

Terrific line, and no, she did not mean that Madonna, but the original one.

Can you guess what happens next? Of course you can, enter a handsome young stranger who teaches the wanton wife to play chess. Well, you got the first part right. Sadly, the end is, well, did either of them deserve this? The best thing about this mean-spirited episode is the background music which was composed by a bloke named Brian May. Not that one, surely?

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3 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

"Maybe it's better to be blind, the worlds an ugly place anyway." Decent tale from the crypt.

Author: Paul Andrews ( from UK
19 March 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Tales from the Crypt: Split Second starts as a bar waitress named Liz (Michelle Johnson) meets Steve Dixon (Brion James) the rich owner of a lumber camp, after learning of his money Liz reckon she's on to a good thing & they marry that very night. However Steve is insanely jealous & forbids his workers to even look at her & he tells her not to go anywhere near them, all of a sudden things don't seem quite so good for Liz. That is until the handsome young Ted (Billy Wirth) turns up looking for a job, Liz falls for Ted & tries to seduce him but Steve finds out & this particular romance doesn't end happily...

This Tales from the Crypt story was episode 11 from season 3, the first of four Tales from the Crypt episodes to be directed by Russell Mulcahy I thought Split Second was decent enough. The script by Richard Christian Matheson was based on a story from the 'Shock SuspenStories' comic book & is basically your standard morality tale of love turned bad. Overall I quite liked the story but I found it a bit predictable although the cool ending certainly helps even if you can tell how things are going to pan out if not in the way they precisely do. As usual the episode moves along at a good pace although most of it's duration is the setting up of the character's rather than action packed incident.

This one looks good & is well made, there is a lot of swearing in this episode, some nudity & not much gore. There's some blood splatter along with the great ending sequence involving a chainsaw & lots more blood. The acting is good especially from the always watchable & intense Brion James.

Split Second is a good tale from the crypt although I don't personally think it rates amongst the show's best, worth a watch all the same.

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0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Saved by the good ending

Author: Juan Sarmiento from Netherlands
23 October 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Yet another incredibly annoying episode, but unlike some previous ones, it had a great closure.

This episode is mainly about a very jealous husband and his bored wife. One day, a young man comes to work for the man and she sees an opportunity to kill her boredom. She tries to seduce him and that makes her husband very angry when he catches them.

He beats the young man called Ted and causes him to lose his sight. The men working for the guy take the opportunity and use Ted to get rid of their angry boss and heartless wife by giving Ted a chainsaw and pretending to be chopping wood.

It was a pretty annoying episode, but saved by the good ending.

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