Harry Kim: In six years, I've never been on an away mission worse than this one.
Neelix: I don't know how you can say that. The cargo hold is crammed with valuable supplies.
Harry Kim: And my stomach is crammed with alien parasites, doing backflips.
Neelix: I guess you shouldn't have drunk that Falah nectar.
Harry Kim: You insisted I try it!
Neelix: Uh... The Nar Shaddan consider it a delicacy. To refuse would have insulted them.
Harry Kim: I didn't hear you insisting that Commander Chakotay try it.
Neelix: Commander Chakotay's a vegetarian.
Harry Kim: [aghast] It was made from meat?
Neelix: More like a meat by-product.
Harry Kim: [groans] I'm gonna be sick.
Neelix: Not after you drink this.
[hands him a glass]
Harry Kim: What is it?
Neelix: Leola bark tea, to settle even the queasiest of stomachs.
Harry Kim: [sniffs] Ugh! It smells worse than the meat nectar! I'll wait for the Doctor to treat me.
Harry Kim: I'm still feeling kinda queasy from that nectar.
The Doctor: I treated you days ago!
Harry Kim: Whatever you did hasn't worked. Maybe all those command subroutines are compromising your medical abilities.
The Doctor: Maybe all that sarcasm is compromising your natural charm.
[Chakotay has been surgically altered to look like an alien]
Neelix: I still say you should have posed as a Talaxian. We'd have made a striking pair.
Chakotay: Whiskers make me itch.
The Doctor: [to Chakotay] I assumed *I'd* be in charge during your absence, Commander!
Harry Kim: 'scuse me?
The Doctor: [to Kim] An Emergency Command Hologram, programmed with over two million tactical subroutines, outranks an ensign.
Harry Kim: A few words to the computer, and this ensign can delete those subroutines.
The Doctor: Then you'd be depriving yourself of a skilled leader for the sake of your ego.
Harry Kim: Hah, *my* ego?
Chakotay: Gentlemen! Work it out.
Tom Paris: I had a disagreement with the new Efficiency Monitor. She didn't think my work was very...
Tom Paris: Exactly.
Umali: Then why should I hire you?
Tom Paris: Well, there's my natural charm and personality. They'd be a real asset around a place like this where you're trying to attract patrons. I mean, look at you. You haven't been able to tear yourself away from me.
Umali: There's no one else here.
Umali: You'd better clean those tables over there. This place is going to be filled with hungry workers as soon as the next shift ends.
Tom Paris: You won't regret this.
Umali: Oh, I'm certain I will.
[the majority of Voyager's crew has been brainwashed, not recognizing each other as who they really are]
Tom Paris: Maybe we could get together during the day sometime, take a walk by the river.
B'Elanna Torres: [getting up] I don't think so.
Tom Paris: Why not? I am a very engaging conversationalist...
[he notices B'Elanna's bulging belly]
Tom Paris: Oh.
B'Elanna Torres: Yeah. Still want to get together?
Tom Paris: You're married.
B'Elanna Torres: No.
Tom Paris: Oh.
B'Elanna Torres: Enjoy your day.
[smiles smugly and leaves]
[Janeway has accidentally entered a wrong code and triggered an alarm]
Quarren Computer: Command code violation 2-3-0-8.
Kathryn Janeway: [to the console] Come on, shut off that damn alarm and I promise I'll never violate you again.
Jaffen: I overheard you talking to your console.
Kathryn Janeway: It's an old habit.
Jaffen: Does it work?
Kathryn Janeway: I'm not sure this control panel and I speak the same language yet.
Tuvok: We don't belong here! We don't belong here! This isn't right! We don't belong here!
[the Doctor is making repairs]
The Doctor: Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: [bleeps] Warning. Main computer is failing.
The Doctor: Switch to backup processors.
Voyager Computer: Main computer stabilized.
The Doctor: Good. Now, let's try this again. Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: Unable to comply.
The Doctor: Why not?
Voyager Computer: Insufficient power.
The Doctor: And they say *I'm* difficult.
The Doctor: I've repaired the deuterium injectors, brought secondary propulsion back online, and soothed Ensign Kim's upset tummy.
Chakotay: Good work.
[Jaffen is telling his co-workers an anecdote]
Jaffen: ...all of them about my father, and he couldn't understand why I wasn't insulted. Finally, I just had to tell him: "I'm Norvalen. I don't have a father!"
[Tuvok bursts out laughing]
Jaffen: It wasn't *that* funny, Tuvok.
Tuvok: [laughing] On the contrary! The man was ignorant of how your species procreates. His attempt to disparage you ultimately humiliated him. Irony is often a source of humor.
Jaffen: Yes, well, when you explain it like that... it's not funny at all.