We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help. Written by
America's finest news source.
Did You Know?
Originally filmed in late 2003, this was subsequently shelved for many years and never released theatrically (allegedly after poor test screening). Finally released directly to DVD in June 2008. See more
Liz Anne has a cut on the left side of her forehead which disappears when Armed gunman is promoted to customer advisor. See more
When you love me right up front, you know that I don't mind. But what I really want is for you, to take me from behind. I don't mind, no. I don't mind. Take me from be-hi-i-i-ind...
Are you ready? Mmmm. Down on my knees. Baby, when we kiss, my heart just skips a beat. And when you hold my hand, oh, I can hardly speak. But there's one kinda lovin' that I can't do face to face. So, let me give you some affection - just below your waist. Oh, yeah! I'm down on my knees for you. I'm begging...
Watch after the credits as Norm Archer comes on screen sitting at his news-desk saying "For the Onion News, this is Norm Archer. Fuck you and Good Night". See more
Written by Asche & Spencer
Performed by Lisa Marie Furth See more