We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help. Written by
America's finest news source.
Did You Know?
Liz Anne has a cut on the left side of her forehead which disappears when Armed gunman is promoted to customer advisor. See more
We might be fucked, sir.
Watch after the credits as Norm Archer comes on screen sitting at his news-desk saying "For the Onion News, this is Norm Archer. Fuck you and Good Night". See more
Down On My Knees
Written by Asche & Spencer
Performed by Lisa Marie Furth See more