64 user 20 critic

The Onion Movie (2008)

Not Rated | | Comedy | 7 January 2008 (Brazil)
1:44 | Trailer

Watch Now

From $2.99 (SD) on Prime Video

Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior.


(as James Kleiner), (as James Kleiner)


, (as Robert Siegel)


Learn more

People who liked this also liked... 

Sheep Impact (2011)
Short | Action | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  

This is a four minute beer commercial made by Carlton Dry.

Director: Brendan Gibbons
Stars: Steven Seagal, Martin Copping, Kirsty Lee Allan
Kill Switch (Video 2008)
Action | Crime | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4/10 X  

A troubled detective travels to Memphis in order to track down a pair of serial killers.

Director: Jeff King
Stars: Steven Seagal, Isaac Hayes, Holly Elissa
Clementine (2004)
Action | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  

Kim is a Taekwondo champion who decides to give up his fighting career for good in order to take care of his daughter Sa Rang. But when an evil gambling kingpin kidnaps Sa Rang, Kim must ... See full summary »

Director: Du-yeong Kim
Stars: Dong-jun Lee, Steven Seagal, Hye-ri Kim
Attack Force (Video 2006)
Action | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  

Marshall Lawson loses his strike-team in a cold-blooded and seemingly random attack. After this he takes it upon himself to investigate the suspicious circumstances of the brutal killings. ... See full summary »

Director: Michael Keusch
Stars: Steven Seagal, Lisa Lovbrand, David Kennedy
Against the Dark (Video 2009)
Action | Horror | Sci-Fi
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.2/10 X  

When most of the population of Earth is infected with a virus and transformed into flesh eaters and blood drinking creatures, a group of hunters led by Tao chases the vampire zombies to ... See full summary »

Director: Richard Crudo
Stars: Steven Seagal, Tanoai Reed, Jenna Harrison
Pistol Whipped (Video 2008)
Action | Crime | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

Matt is an elite ex-cop whose life has gone down hill since he was kicked off the Force. After a rough encounter with a mysterious henchman, Matt is brought face to face with his only ... See full summary »

Director: Roel Reiné
Stars: Steven Seagal, Paul Calderon, Renée Elise Goldsberry
Black Dawn (Video 2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  

Jonathan Cold returns, this time he goes undercover to stop a group of terrorists before they bomb Los Angeles.

Director: Alexander Gruszynski
Stars: Steven Seagal, Tamara Davies, John Pyper-Ferguson
Mercenary for Justice (Video 2006)
Action | Drama | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  

A mercenary gets involved in a mission that threatens the lives of his kin. In order to succeed, he must break into one of the most wellguarded prisons in Eastern Europe and free the son of the most notorious drug lord in the world today.

Director: Don E. FauntLeRoy
Stars: Steven Seagal, Jacqueline Lord, Roger Guenveur Smith
Shadow Man (Video 2006)
Action | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  

An intelligence operative discovers that no one is what they seem in the shadowy world of espionage.

Director: Michael Keusch
Stars: Steven Seagal, Eva Pope, Imelda Staunton
Driven to Kill (Video 2009)
Action | Crime | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

An ex-Russian mobster who is now a crime novelist must confront his past when his family is targeted by violence.

Director: Jeff King
Stars: Steven Seagal, Mike Dopud, Igor Jijikine
The Keeper I (2009)
Action | Crime | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

Roland Sallinger is an LA cop who after nearly being killed by his greedy partner, and eventually being forced to retire for medical reasons, flees to San Antonio, Texas, after being asked ... See full summary »

Director: Keoni Waxman
Stars: Steven Seagal, Liezl Carstens, Arron Shiver
Submerged (Video 2005)
Action | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

Chris Kody, the world's best mercenary, is freed from prison -- but there's a catch. Kody must use his lethal weapons and fighting skills to stop a group of terrorists who have taken over a nuclear sub.

Director: Anthony Hickox
Stars: Steven Seagal, Christine Adams, William Hope


Cast overview, first billed only:
Daniel Chacón ...
Young American / Cock Puncher
Dennis McCormick
Dolores McCormick
Roseanne McCormick
Reid Weaver ...
Dennis McCormick, Jr.
Typical Neighbor Husband
Typical Neighbor Wife
Jason L. Miller ...
Sooty Firefighter
Brendon Baerg ...
Sooty Child
Kip Kendall
Alzheimers Old Lady


We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


America's finest news source.




Not Rated | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:





| |

Release Date:

7 January 2008 (Brazil)  »

Also Known As:

Onion Movie  »

Filming Locations:


Company Credits

Show more on  »

Technical Specs



See  »

Did You Know?


Originally filmed in late 2003, this was subsequently shelved for many years and never released theatrically (allegedly after poor test screening). Finally released directly to DVD in June 2008. See more »


Liz Anne has a cut on the left side of her forehead which disappears when Armed gunman is promoted to customer advisor. See more »


Dana Dobbs: There you have it. The negro is guilty.
See more »

Crazy Credits

Watch after the credits as Norm Archer comes on screen sitting at his news-desk saying "For the Onion News, this is Norm Archer. Fuck you and Good Night". See more »


Down On My Knees
Written by Asche & Spencer
Performed by Lisa Marie Furth
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

American Humo(u)r.
15 June 2008 | by See all my reviews

I have just watched this movie and it was one of the funniest films I have ever seen. I believe this film got bad reviews in America. It has often been said that the UK doesn't understand the US humour and vice versa. I would just like to point out that this movie has hit the spot where UK humour is. This is a seriously great movie and if it was marketed well in the UK it would be a triumph. Well done ONION.

We gave you 'The Office' and you are finally understanding that kind of understated comedy. The Onion Movie has made me more determined to look out for more American comedy like this.

Never mind what all those stuffy critics say (as parodied)... this is a great watch.

55 of 79 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you? | Report this
Review this title | See all 64 user reviews »

Contribute to This Page