Goldirocks (2003)

User Rating:

5.5/10   

Director:

Paula Tiberius

Writer:

Paula Tiberius (writer)

Genre:

Comedy | Music

Tagline:

It's not who you f**k, it's how you rock 'n' roll

Plot:

Wannabe rock star Goldi lands in a house of three musicians, one too hot, one too cold, and a third who seems just right...

Plot Keywords:

Rock 'n' Roll | Female Lead

Cast

Sasha Ormond	...	Goldi
Dru Viergever	...	Darby
Dominick Abrams	...	Adler
Greg LeGros	...	Miles
Laura Kim	...	Lil
Megan Dunlop	...	Rhonda
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Crystal Iserhoff	...	Girlfriend (as Crystal Isherhoff)
Virna Kim	...	Pretty Girl in Hallway
Lee Pitts	...	Dave
Devin Upham	...	Stoner Guy

Directed by
Paula Tiberius

Writing credits (in alphabetical order)
Paula Tiberius		writer

Produced by
Tina Cooper	....	associate producer
Lisa Hayes	....	producer
Tanya Henley	....	co-producer

Original Music by
Ian Blurton
John Critchley

Cinematography by
Marcos Arriaga

Film Editing by
Vanda Schmockel

Production Management
Deborah MacDonald	....	production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Jeff Kopas	....	third assistant director
Rick Rose	....	first assistant director

Art Department
Genevieve Morrow Ganner	....	art department assistant
Hameda Yeung	....	set dresser (2003)

Sound Department
Steph Carrier	....	sound re-recording mixer
Kathy Choi	....	dialogue editor
Jane Crawford	....	first assistant sound editor
Kirk Lynds	....	sound re-recording mixer
Brent Pickett	....	sound effects editor

Music Department
Paul Shikata	....	music editor

Production Companies

• Hazy Pictures

Distributors

• Domino Film & Television International (Canada) (theatrical)

Runtime:

Canada:94 min

Country:

Canada

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

DTS

Company:

Hazy Pictures

You are kidding, right?

Are you for real?

Goldirocks is, without a doubt, a dismal failure as entertainment.

There is nothing accurate or realistic about it. And it has no value as far as I can see. It would take way more than forty bands to save this one. More than four hundred.

If the makers of this movie are actually part of the Toronto music scene, which I seriously doubt, then they are part of some warped corner of it where bands like Sticky Rice, Cheerleader and Wayne Omaha are cool. The exact opposite of reality.

As for the movie; the acting is atrocious, the dialogue has never been spoken by anyone in history other than the actors, the camera work and direction are totally hopeless. The main character is completely unlikable, for crying out loud! Not a single redeeming quality! Well, she sleeps around a lot, so maybe that would appeal to a pubescent boy, but that's about it.

As for rock and roll, Goldirocks offers absolutely nothing new or even interesting. Just a bunch of should-be-retired semi-has-beens-that-never-were-or-will-be.

My prediction? No one involved with this will ever work again, waiting on tables notwithstanding.