Bee Movie (2007)
Layton T. Montgomery: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. She believed it's our divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature that God has provided us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, think of what it would mean! Why, I'd have to negotiate with the silkworms for the elastic in my britches!
Barry B. Benson: How about a suicide pact?
Vanessa: How do we do it?
Barry B. Benson: I'll sting you, you step on me.
Vanessa: That just kills you twice.
Title Narrator: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. It's wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Cow: He is a lawyer, too?
Mooseblood: Ma'am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!
Vanessa: Why don't you just fly everywhere? Isn't it faster?
Barry B. Benson: Flying is exhausting. Why don't you humans just run everywhere, isn't that faster?
Vanessa: I see your point.
Barry B. Benson: Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane.
Vanessa: What, you don't have anything like that?
Barry B. Benson: We have "Hivo", But it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Barry B. Benson: This sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
Adam Flayman: Wow! She looked hot!
Barry B. Benson: She's my cousin!
Adam Flayman: She is?
Barry B. Benson: Yes, we're *all* cousins.
Ken: [sees a sign that says "Vanessa and Barry: Flowers, Honey, Legal Advice" and becomes disgusted] UGH! THAT BEE IS LIVING MY LIFE!
Andy: [guiding Ken protectively] Let it go, Kenny.
Ken: WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END?
Andy: Let it all go.
Barry B. Benson: You know, there is a Larry King in the real world.
Bee Larry King: It's a common name.
Barry B. Benson: He has suspenders, a desk, a TV show, different color lights behind him, and a marquee at the bottom of the screen saying what was just said even though you just heard him.
Trudy: And you'll be happy to know that bees as a species haven't had a day off in 27 billion years. Whew!
Barry B. Benson: So you'll just work us to death?
Trudy: We'll sure try.
Barry B. Benson: Three days of grade school, three days of high school...
Adam Flayman: Those were tough days.
Barry B. Benson: ...three days of college, I'm glad I took a day off in the middle to hitchhike around the hive.
Adam Flayman: You did come back different.
Layton T. Montgomery: Talking bee-ah! How do we know this isn't some kind of holographic, motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Clones! For all we know, he could be on steroids!
Adam Flayman: Did you hear about Frankie?
Barry B. Benson: Yeah.
Adam Flayman: Are you going to his funeral?
Barry B. Benson: No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everyone knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.
Adam Flayman: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.
Martin Benson: We're very proud of you son and a perfect report card; all B's!
Barry B. Benson: Larry, bees have never afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus, Bee Ghandi, Bee-Jesus?
Barry B. Benson: This is your queen? That's a guy in women's clothes! That's a *drag* queen!
Barry B. Benson: I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.
Ken: Well, well, well, a royal flush!
Barry B. Benson: You're bluffing.
Ken: Am I?
[flushes toilet. Barry grabs the Emory board and uses it to surf]
Barry B. Benson: Surf's up, dude!
[splashes water on Ken]
Ken: Ew. Poo water.
Vanessa: My only interest is flowers.
Barry B. Benson: You know, our last queen was elected with that very slogan.
Layton T. Montgomery: Will some angel of mercy come crawl to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?
Vanessa: What happened here?
Barry B. Benson: I tried talking to these guys, and then there was a dustbuster, a toupee and a liferaft exploded... now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious!
Vanessa: Is that another bee joke?
Barry B. Benson: ...when he finally gets there, he runs up the steps, into the church, the wedding is on and he says "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatamelan, why would I marry a watermelon?" ha ha ha
Vanessa: Oh! is that uh, a bee joke?
Barry B. Benson: Sorry I'm late, where should I sit?
Rose Parade Princess: Who are you?
Barry B. Benson: I believe I'm the pea.
Rose Parade Princess: The pea is supposed to be under the mattresses!
Barry B. Benson: Not in this fairy tale sweetheart.
Adam Flayman: This is over!
Barry B. Benson: Eat this.
[shoves one of Vanessa's crumbs into Adam's mouth]
Adam Flayman: This is not over! What was that?
Barry B. Benson: They call it a crumb.
Adam Flayman: That's so stingin' stripey!
Barry B. Benson: And that's not even what they eat. That just falls off what they eat.
Mooseblood: Stand perfectly still!
Barry B. Benson: You're not dead?
Mooseblood: Do I look like I'm dead! Hey, man! They will wipe anything that moves. Where are you headed?
Barry B. Benson: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.
Mooseblood: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood. Crazy stuff! Blows your head off.
Ladybug: I'm going to Tacoma.
Barry B. Benson: [to a grasshopper] What about you?
Mooseblood: He really is dead.
Barry B. Benson: All right.
Vanessa: Kenneth! What are you doing?
Ken: You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!
Vanessa: We need to talk!
[grabs Ken by the ear and drags him to the hallway]
Vanessa: He's just a little bee, and he happens to be the nicest I've met in a long time!
Ken: Long time? What are you talking about? Are there other bugs in you life?
Vanessa: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!
Ken: Fine! Talking bees, No yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional rollarcoaster!
Vanessa: Goodbye, Ken.
[Ken exits, then re-enters frame]
Ken: And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN!
Vanessa: I'm sorry
[Ken re-enters frame again]
Ken: I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!
Barry B. Benson: Listen everyone. This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers, and dress like this. If we're going to survive as a species, this is our moment. So what do you all say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History key chains?
Bees: We're bees!
Keychain Bee: Keychain!
Barry B. Benson: Then follow me! Except keychain.
Barry B. Benson: Yellow-black, yellow-black, yellow-black, yellow-black... Oh, black and yellow. Yeah, let's shake it up a little.
Barry B. Benson: What in the name of mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select?
Vanessa: What is he, an actor?
Barry B. Benson: I've never heard of him. What is this doing here?
Vanessa: For people. We eat it.
Barry B. Benson: You eat it? You don't have enough food of your own? Where did you get this?
Vanessa: From bees. Bees make it...
Barry B. Benson: I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, and stirring, and there's this big krelman thing.
Vanessa: It's organic.
Barry B. Benson: It's *our* ganic!
Vanessa: It's just honey, Barry.
Barry B. Benson: It's just... What? This is our whole life, and you're taking it without permission! This is stealing! You're taking our homes, our schools, our hospitals... It's all we have! And it's on sale? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. I'm gonna get to the bottom of all of it!
Uncle Carl: I once dated a Cicada in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry B. Benson: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?
Ken: Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
Barry B. Benson: What is that?
Ken: Italian Vogue.
Barry B. Benson: Mamma mia! That's a lot of pages.
Ken: It's a lot of ads.
Bud Ditchwater: Am I coo-coo-kachoo, or is that plane flying in an insect-like pattern?
Barry B. Benson: Quite a lot of pomp, under the circumstances.
Vanessa: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice.
Barry B. Benson: It's not a tone, I'm PANICKING!
Vanessa: Ken, Barry was looking at your résumé and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks is not really a special skill.
Barry B. Benson: Look at these faces. They never knew what hit them and now they're on the road to nowhere.
Jock #2: We're going 0900 J-Gate, what do think fuzzy boy, are you Bee enough?
Barry B. Benson: That depends, on what 0900 means?
Lou Lo Duca: [during pre-flight briefing to Pollen Jocks] As always watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also I got a couple reports of Root Beer being poured on us! Murphy's in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada!
Vanessa: How did you learn to do that?
Barry B. Benson: Do what?
Vanessa: That, that... the talking thing?
Barry B. Benson: Same way you did, I guess. Mama, dada, honey, you pick it up.
Vanessa: Are you all right?
Barry B. Benson: Yeah. What was that? Clip and Save circular?
Vanessa: Yes, it was. How did you know?
Barry B. Benson: Felt like about ten pages. 75 is pretty much our limit.
Vanessa: You sure got that down to a science.
Barry B. Benson: Oh, we have to. You know, I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
Barry B. Benson: Mister Sting, thank you for coming. Your name intrigues me, I must say. Where have I heard that name before?
Sting: I was in a very popular band called The Police.
Barry B. Benson: And yet you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you?
Sting: No, I haven't.
Barry B. Benson: No, you haven't. And so you see, this is just another example of bee culture being casually stolen for nothing more than a prance-about stage name!
Sting: Oh, please.
Barry B. Benson: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I feel stung, Sting... or should I say, Gordon M. Sumner?
Layton T. Montgomery: That's not his real name? You idiots!
Cow: Milk, cream, it's all me, and I don't see a nickel!
Barry B. Benson: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Cow: Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!
Barry B. Benson: I had no idea.
Adam Flayman: [On the bee testing a helmet] What do you think he makes?
Barry B. Benson: Not enough.
Adam Flayman: He's dating a human florist!
Janet Benson: GASP
Adam Flayman: And they makeout!
Janet Benson: Barry...
Barry B. Benson: We do not makeout.
Adam Flayman: You wish you could!
Ken: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!
Vanessa: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Ken: Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Adam Flayman: You met someone? Was she beeish? Not a wasp! Your parents will kill you. Is she a cicada?
Barry B. Benson: Nah.
Adam Flayman: Is it a spider?
Barry B. Benson: You know, I've never been attracted to spiders. I know they're the hottest thing around, with the eight legs, but I just can't get past that face.
Barry B. Benson: We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as nothing more than a vicious, smelly, ill-tempered, big-headed stink machine. I believe we all know what they do in the woods.
Adam Flayman: What do you thing the humans will do to us if we lose?
Barry B. Benson: I don't know, Adam.
Adam Flayman: I hear they put roaches in motels.
Barry B. Benson: Adam, they check in, but they never check out.
Barry B. Benson: Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?
Ken: I'm not scared of him but it's just the allergic thing.
Andy: Hey, buddy, put that on your résumé brochure.
Ken: It's not funny, my whole face could puff up.
Andy: Make it one of your special skills.
Ken: Yeah? Knocking someone out is also a special skill.