6.3/10
90
2 user 2 critic

Ninjas, Condors 13 (1987)

Director:

(as James Wu)

Writer:

(as Benjamin King)
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Cast

Credited cast:
Alexander Rei Lo ...
Brian
Stuart Hugh
Timothy Johnson
Edward Douglas
Mary Johnson
Mick Murray
Jay Forster
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Ehoud Pazy ...
Frank
Dan Edward Perry ...
Zeke
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Release Date:

1987 (Hong Kong)  »

Also Known As:

Ninja Condors  »

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User Reviews

 
Fantastic movie on par with Alexander and Eugene's other flicks
18 January 2006 | by (Copenhagen, Denmark) – See all my reviews

This movie is an absolute must-see for fans of cheesy martial arts. If you're already familiar with classics such as 'Mafia vs. Ninja' and/or 'The Super Ninja' and/or 'Ninja U.S.A.' and/or 'Ninja: The Final Duel', then this is for you! I guarantee you will love it as much as the other movies! Both Alexander Lou and Eugene Thomas are back in this buddy-movie somewhat reminiscent of 'The Super Ninja', and the bad guy called 'Lucifer' is hilarious, I'm pretty sure he's the same villain as in 'Ninja U.S.A.', think his name is George Nicholas, but both he and Thomas are not credited (I presume they got aliases for this movie for some reason or other, since 3 of the 5 the top-listed names like "Stuart Hugh", "Timothy Johnson" and "Edward Douglas" have no other movies listed other than this one).

The plot: A young boy (Alexander Lou) called Brian witnesses his father being killed in a very violent manner, and then a black cop called Tyler saves him from getting the same fate. Then, many years later Brian has joined an evil Ninja-assassin squad lead by Lucifer (He is evil, in case you couldn't tell, but with that name, how can he not be evil?) - Lucifer tells Brian to kill Tyler or they will slice his pregnant wife's belly in pieces with a chainsaw. I won't spoil what then happens, but it's has hilarious results. Then later, he gets kicked out of the ninja-assassin squad, and he meets another black man called Eddie, who starts a fight with a bunch of 'Honkeys' and persuades Brian to become his friend. When ninjas attack Brian, he helps him out, and they become buddies. They escape many attempts on their lives, and they eliminate at least a dozen white ninjas. They keep fighting ninjas non-stop until the ending climax where they finally raid Lucifer's evil mansion, again with hilarious results.

Oh yeah, in the mansion he falls in love with Lucifer's blonde girlfriend, and meets his Ninja Master in the basement. We can't have a ninja-movie without blonde women and Ninja Masters. The place where this is supposedly taking place seems to be somewhere in Hong Kong, but there's hardly any Asian people present, and most of the ninja-assassins are white people, so it's kinda confusing, but that just adds to the fun.

One of the greatest things in this movie, are Alexander's many changing hairstyles during the movie, and at one point, the bad guys knock him out unconscious, and when he wakes up, he has bandages on his head. The bad guys then tell him that they want him dead, but why did they put bandages on him first?? No explanation is given to this mystery, and in the next scene, the bandages are all gone, and he hasn't got as much as one single scratch where they had been. Fantastic.

And in another scene, we see some policemen acting really tough, and Tyler's boss yells at him, but they're both so bad at acting, that their lines look like they're being read directly from the script, which Tyler is probably holding in his hand! (It's supposed to look like a file-case, but he looks down on it before every line!) During the final battle, Eugene Thomas changes outfits from looking like Mr. T to looking like the black Crocodile Dundee, it was superb!

I laughed so hard during the final battle that my face was hurting in painful grimacing, and my eyes ran with tears! These kind of movies are a LOT better than the present day 'comedies', and if you don't get the humor in this movie, then I feel sorry for you. I give this movie 10/10 no doubt! But remember, this isn't 'Citizen Kane' or 'Schindler's List', take it for what it is. Look for all the super-fast speed scenes, and the reversed shots to make the action look unbelievable, that's what great film-making is all about!

P.S: This is best if watched with a bunch of friends who share the same fascination with cheesy martial arts movies from Hong Kong, but I'm sure it can be enjoyed if you're alone too, although it might make you insane. Proceed with caution, or you might think there will be ninja's popping out of the ground or fly down from the trees if you walk outside.


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