The Office (2005–2013)
Michael Scott: That's what *she* said!
Andy Bernard: I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.
Michael Scott: I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Michael Scott: [on videotape] Hi, I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania. But I'm also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that if you're a racist, I will attack you with the North, and those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.
Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.
Michael Scott: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special - baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
[after a sexual harassment seminar]
Michael Scott: Stanley, how about that hot picture you have by your desk? Centerfold in the Catholic school girl's outfit? I mean, it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns him on. And I will admit, the best part of my morning is staring at it. But what, are we gonna just take it away?
Stanley Hudson: That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girl's school. I'm taking it down right now.