Ready When You Are Mr. McGill (2003 TV Movie)

Tom Courtenay: Joe McGill

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after repeatedly cocking-up his one and only line, Joe McGill pleads for just one more take] 

  Joe McGill : Phil! Mr Parish. Sir. Couldn't we give it another go? I've read the whole script. It's a scene of prime importance to the understanding of it.

  Phil Parish : Why didn't you get it right, then?

  Joe McGill : We've had to do it over and over, all day.

  Phil Parish : That's what you're paid for.

  Joe McGill : We're not machines. We're not cameras.

  Phil Parish : You had *one* line to do, Mr McGill. One! And you couldn't.

  Joe McGill : It was the thirteenth take.

  Phil Parish : All the more reason.

  Joe McGill : I did the others OK. One or two of them were *your*... Not your...

  Phil Parish : Do you know why you couldn't do it? Because you're no good. And that's why you're an extra. A stupid lousy extra. Useless old bugger.

  Gilbert Dean : [trying to placate Phil]  Yeah, OK, Phil.

  Phil Parish : [to Gilbert]  OK? He's living proof of what you say about actors. Always. Non-stop.

  Gilbert Dean : Yeah. Enough, though. No need to upset him.

  Phil Parish : No? So which matters most? Sparing his feelings or saving the bloody the film? Him, or your script that took you months to write, as you're always telling us? And him two minutes to kill stone dead. Which matters most?

  Joe McGill : You don't know me. You know nothing about me. Whether I'm stupid or no good or anything. You've only met me today. I've had thousands of days before today. I might be a very interesting person, for all you know. I might have been acting since before you left school. I might have once been in a cafe when an IRA bomb got chucked in. I might have brought up three kids. One of them might have been to college and got a 2:1.

  Phil Parish : Jesus! You also might have buggered up a day's filming.

  Joe McGill : This isn't real life, lad! It's pretend! It's all pretend! You're pretending! The whole damn fool film's pretending!

  Phil Parish : [pompously]  Real life is how well we pretend, isn't it, sir? You, me, everybody in the world.

  [Mr McGill looks crestfallen] 

  Phil Parish : Perhaps we'll try and find the best bits from what you did and glue them together and no-one'll know. And it'll be all right on the night.

  [mutters] 

  Phil Parish : As they say.