BloodRayne (2005)

Director:

Uwe Boll

Writer (WGA):

Guinevere Turner (written by)

Release Date:

6 January 2006 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Adventure | Fantasy | Horror

Tagline:

She's one Hell of a heroine...literally!

Plot:

In the Eighteenth Century, Rayne is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a carnival's freak-show in Romania...

Plot Keywords:

Vampire | Half Human | Romania | Vampire Hunter | Blood

Awards:

6 nominations

Cast

Kristanna Loken	...	Rayne
Michael Madsen	...	Vladimir
Matthew Davis	...	Sebastian (as Matt Davis)
Will Sanderson	...	Domastir
Geraldine Chaplin	...	Fortune Teller
Udo Kier	...	Regal Monk
Meat Loaf	...	Leonid (as Meat Loaf Aday)
Michael Paré	...	Iancu
Billy Zane	...	Elrich
Michelle Rodriguez	...	Katarin
Ben Kingsley	...	Kagan
Darren Shahlavi	...	Priest
Esteban Cueto	...	Rok
Madalina Constantin	...	Amanda
Daniela Nane	...	Rayne's Mother
T.J. Storm	...	Strongman / Kagan Vampire Guard #3
Constantin Barbulescu	...	Ringmaster
Teona Galgotiu	...	Rayne - Age 5
Razvan Popa	...	Bartender
Laura Burlarda	...	Little Girl
Ingrid Bisu	...	Young Girl
Dicu Aurel	...	Vampire Male (as Aurel Dicu)
Iulia Muresanu	...	Vampire Female (as Iulia Muresan)
Romanita Ionescu	...	Woman Vampire
Rocky Taylor	...	Monetary Guard
Iulia Popescu	...	Mother
Robert Baer	...	Kid (Darius)
Adrienne McQueen	...	Female Soldier
Demeny Gabriel	...	Kagan's Sentry
Radu Andrei Micu	...	Sleepy Young Man (as Radu Micu)
Bryan C. Knight	...	Thadius
Aden Ambrono	...	Giant Thrall #1
Florin Roata	...	Giant Thrall #2
Mike Dopud	...	Gregor
Kofi Yiadom	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #1
Mihai Ionita	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #1 / Thrall Guard #1
Romeo Raicu	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #2
Dorin Zaharia	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #2 / Thrall Guard #2
Petre Dumitru	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #3
Gabi Serbah	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #3 / Thrall Guard #3
Ho-Sung Pak	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #4
Banica Gheorghe	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #4 / Thrall Guard #4 (as Gheoghre Banica)
Andrabulea Cigel	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #5 / Thrall Guard #5 (as Gigel Andrabulea)
Orlando McGuire	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #6
Alexander Mardan	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #6 / Thrall Guard #6 (as Alex Mardan)
Luminita Filimon	...	Kagan Vampire Guard #7 (as Filimon Luminita)
Vasilescu Valentin	...	Kagan Vampire Guards #8 (as Vali Vasileseu)
Daniel Visan	...	Thrall Guard #7 (as Dani Visan)
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Chris Torres	...	Brimstone Man (uncredited)

Directed by
Uwe Boll

Writing credits (WGA)
Guinevere Turner		(written by)

Produced by
Brandon Baker	....	associate producer
Uwe Boll	....	producer
Dan Clarke	....	producer (as Daniel Clarke)
Frederic Demey	....	associate producer
Wolfgang Herold	....	executive producer
Michael Roesch	....	associate producer
Dan Sales	....	associate producer
Peter Scheerer	....	associate producer
Jonathan Shore	....	co-executive producer
Jesse Sutton	....	co-executive producer
Morris Sutton	....	co-executive producer
Brad Van Arragon	....	line producer
Max Wanko	....	associate producer
Shawn Williamson	....	producer

Original Music by
Henning Lohner

Cinematography by
Mathias Neumann		(director of photography)

Casting by
Maureen Webb

Production Design by
James Steuart

Art Direction by
Cristian Corvin
Vlad Vieru

Set Decoration by
Sandy Walker

Costume Design by
Carla Baer

Makeup Department
Mariana Andreescu	....	assistant makeup artist
Miruna Fainaru	....	assistant makeup artist
Corina Hera	....	assistant makeup artist
Olaf Ittenbach	....	special makeup effects
Sascha Kolmikow	....	special makeup effects artist
Chris Kunzmann	....	lead makeup effects artist (as Christoph Kunzmann)
Michelle Lemieux	....	assistant makeup artist
Ioana Lita	....	key hair stylist: Romania
Barney Nikolic	....	sfx makeup artist
Thommy Opatz	....	special makeup effects (as Tommy Opatz)
Connie Parker	....	key makeup artist: Canada
Verginia Popa	....	additional hair stylist
Domnica Sava	....	assistant hair stylist
Suzanne Stokes-Munton	....	key hair stylist: UK
Mirela Tanase	....	additional hair stylist
Clara Tudose	....	key makeup artist: Romania (as Tudose Claudia)
Linda Williams	....	assistant hair stylist

Production Management
Irina Chirita	....	production manager
Joey Setter	....	unit production manager
Jonathan Shore	....	post-production supervisor
Andreea Stanculeanu	....	executive in charge of production

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Irina Bryson	....	third assistant director: Romania (as Irina Niculin)
Laura Grosu	....	trainee assistant director
Theodor Halacu-Nicon	....	first assistant director: second unit
Theodor Halacu-Nicon	....	second unit director
Olaf Ittenbach	....	second unit director
Bryan C. Knight	....	first assistant director
Kevin Leslie	....	second assistant director
Trevor McWhinney	....	third assistant director
Corina Radu	....	second assistant director: Romania (as Corina Ana Radu)

Art Department
Andreas Adamek	....	concept artist
Daniel Aleca	....	swing gang
Alexandru Alecu	....	painter
Daniel Alexandru	....	sculptor
Tamar Aviv	....	set
Valentina Belea	....	set decoration buyer
Florin Bivolaru	....	assistant property master
Florin Burlacu	....	swing gang
Dana Dinescu	....	assistant set decorator
Corina Mihaela Dobre	....	draft person
David Dowling	....	property master
Adrian Epp	....	lead dresser
Aline Fischer	....	set
Florin Gavrila	....	scenic painter
Cristi Nicolae Horeica	....	swing gang
Petre Ionescu	....	props
Olaf Ittenbach	....	set
Stefan Lochmann	....	storyboard artist
Spencer Louttit	....	assistant property master
Liviu Marcu	....	sculptor
Gabriela Nechita	....	set dresser
Adrian Nica	....	on-set decorator
Izabela Niculae	....	art department coordinator
Ionel Adrian Niton	....	swing gang
Thommy Opatz	....	set
Simion Parvu	....	assistant property master
Mircea Petre	....	swing gang
Victor Mario Petre	....	props
Marian Placinta	....	swing gang
Valeriu Radulescu	....	upholsterer
Thomas Reitmair	....	set
Serban Rosca	....	assistant art director
Serban Rotariu	....	concept artist
Serban Rotariu	....	storyboard artist
Victoria Rusu	....	head painter
Jörn Seifert	....	set
Eusebiu Sirbu	....	scenic artist
Alina Stoica	....	assistant art director
Sandy Walker	....	key set decorator

Sound Department
Michael Bartylak	....	sound recordist
Jose R. Castellon	....	adr recordist
Jochen Engelke	....	sound re-recording mixer
Eva Heine	....	sound post coordinator
Wolfgang Herold	....	sound supervisor
Christina Hintersehr	....	assistant sound post-production coordinator
Manuel Karakas	....	mix editor
Manuel Karakas	....	sound editor
Deni King	....	adr supervisor
Kevin Konarzewski	....	walla recordist
Yumiko Konomi	....	sound editor
Annika Krieger	....	sound post assistant
Iain Pattison	....	sound re-recording mixer: temp mix
Roland Platz	....	foley artist
Roland Platz	....	foley editor
Marcel Schechter	....	assistant dialogue editor
Adam Sharpe	....	adr mixer
Carina Spitzkopf	....	sound post assistant
Joe Spivak	....	sound effects editor: temp mix
Philip Stiebeling	....	sound post assistant
Hans Emanuel Vogel	....	foley recordist
Max Wanko	....	sound designer
Max Wanko	....	supervising sound editor
Andreas Wiesner	....	re-recording projectionist
Fritz A. Wollner	....	sound editor
James Wallace	....	temp mix sound designer (uncredited)

Special Effects by
Tamar Aviv	....	foam technician
Aline Fischer	....	body casting
Aline Fischer	....	finishing
Aline Fischer	....	foam technician
Aline Fischer	....	mould maker
Aline Fischer	....	sculptor
Maike Heinlein	....	hair puncher
Olaf Ittenbach	....	dental prosthetics
Sebastian Lochmann	....	finishing
Sebastian Lochmann	....	sculptor
Liviu Lungu	....	special effects assistant
Anna Menzel	....	hair puncher
Barney Nikolic	....	mould maker
Anna Olbrich	....	hair puncher
Thommy Opatz	....	finishing
Thommy Opatz	....	foam technician
Thommy Opatz	....	mould maker
Thommy Opatz	....	sculptor
Dennis Penkov	....	foam technician
Dennis Penkov	....	mould maker
Adrian Popescu	....	special effects supervisor
Stuart Prior	....	special effects
Jörn Seifert	....	foam technician
Dan Siciu	....	special effects
George Tudoran	....	special effects
Mihai Tudoran	....	special effects assistant

Visual Effects by
Jan Adamczyk	....	digital compositor
Tobias Becker	....	digital artist
Elmar Behr	....	systems engineer
Jan Berner	....	technical director
Sacha Bertram	....	visual effects producer
Klaus Blaser	....	Inferno artist
Dan Brittain	....	digital compositor
Sven Bruhn	....	compositor
Jeff Bruneel	....	digital compositor
Paul Chapman	....	digital compositor
Drake Conrad	....	digital colorist
Gerrit Corsmeyer	....	digital effects artist
Bryan Davies	....	visual effects artist
Pete Dionne	....	lead 3D artist: Technicolor
Michael Dohne	....	digital compositor
Paul Dreisen	....	digital artist
Gene Dreitser	....	senior technical director
Christopher Elke	....	visual effects producer
Zeljko Filipovic	....	compositor
John Fukushima	....	digital compositor
Ted Gervan	....	visual effects artist
Martin Gessner	....	visual effects producer
Jason Giberson	....	scanning and recording
Marc Goecke	....	digital artist
Mark Goldberg	....	digital compositor
Thomas Hallé	....	digital compositor
Rudi Hensel	....	compositor
Marcus Herbert	....	systems engineer
Phil Jones	....	visual effects supervisor: Technicolor
Tyler Kehl	....	visual effects coordinator
Jan Kruse	....	visual effects producer
Jeannine Kruse	....	visual effects coordinator
Ljiljana Marinovic	....	visual effects producer
Thomas Marquardt	....	digital artist
Sven Martin	....	visual effects supervisor
Stephen Misek	....	visual effects artist
Erin Nicholson	....	digital artist
Jordan Nieuwland	....	digital effects artist: Technicolor
Teni Noravian	....	digital compositor
Erik Nordby	....	lead compositor
Sean O'Hara	....	compositor
Doug Oddy	....	visual effects supervisor
Tilman Paulin	....	digital compositor
Roland Petrizza	....	visual effects
Jan Raimann	....	digital effects artist
Persis Reynolds	....	visual effects producer: Technicolor
Claudia Schenkenberg	....	visual effects producer
Benjamin Seide	....	digital compositor
Jason Snea	....	lead compositor: TCS Toronto
Sonja Spader	....	lead compositor
Juri Stanossek	....	visual effects supervisor
Andreas Steinlein	....	lead compositor
Jason Toth	....	compositor
David Tso	....	visual effects compositor
Mark Tureski	....	digital opticals effects
Derek Wolfe	....	visual effects
Peggy Wong	....	visual effects coordinator
Sarah Wormsbecher	....	visual effects project manager: Technicolor
Florian Schuck	....	digital compositor (uncredited)

Stunts
Vasile Albinet	....	stunt double: Vladimir
Anthony Arcuria	....	stunt double: Domastir
Dicu Aurel	....	stunt double: Vladimir (as Aurel Dicu)
Einci Aurel	....	stunt double: Vladimir (as Aurel Einci)
Florin Barcun	....	stunt double: Uncle Adrian
Aurel Boata	....	stunts
Gabi Burlacu	....	stunt double: Kristanna Loken
Ion Carangea	....	stunt double: Ringmaster (as Caragea Ion)
Doru Constantin	....	stunts
Rogin Constantin	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard
Mihai Danciu	....	stunts (as Danciu Mihai)
Cincan Daniel	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard (as Daniel Cincan)
Marian Dinca	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard
Constantin Dumitru	....	stunt double: Drunk Vampire (as Dumitru Constantin)
Luminita Filimon	....	stunt double: Katarin (as Filimon Luminita)
Liviu Fister	....	stunts
Paul Fister	....	stunts
Marius Florian	....	stunt double: Kagan (as Jerry Florian)
Kylie Furneaux	....	stunt double
Serban Gabriel	....	stunts
Banica Gheorghe	....	stunts
Mihai Ionita	....	stunt double: Man Vampire (as Ionita Mihai)
Viorel Ivanica	....	stunt performer
Alin Luchian	....	stunts
Razvan Mamarae	....	stunt double: Leonid Thrall #2
Catalin Mancafa	....	stunts
Alexander Mardan	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard (as Alex Mordan)
Alexander Mardan	....	stunts (as Alex Mardan)
Trevor McWhinney	....	stunts
Iulia Muresanu	....	stunt double: Leonid Thrall #3
Daniel Pasleaga	....	stunt performer
Daniel Pasleaga	....	stunts
Gabriela Petre	....	stunts (as Gabi Petre)
Rasvan Puiu	....	assistant stunt coordinator
Marian Raicu	....	stunt double: Leonid Thrall #1
Romeo Raicu	....	stunt double: Leonid
Mihai Serban	....	stunts
Trevori Setru	....	stunt double: Sebastian
George Stan	....	stunts
Florin Stancu	....	stunts
Daniel Stoica	....	stunt double: Domastir (as Dan Stoica)
Rocky Taylor	....	stunt coordinator
Marian Toader	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard
Chris Torres	....	stunt double: Sebastian
Mihai Ungureanu	....	stunt double: Leonid Vampire Guard
Vasilescu Valentin	....	stunts
Alicia Vela-Bailey	....	stunts: Rayne (as Alicia Vela Bailey)
Florin Viorel	....	stunts
Daniel Visan	....	stunts
Dorin Zaharia	....	stunts

Camera and Electrical Department
Cos Aelenei	....	still photographer
Lupsa Armand	....	additional electrician
Leonard Bacica	....	video assist operator
Patrick Bramucci	....	rigging gaffer
Daniel Ciobanu	....	generator operator
Daniel Cojanu	....	camera operator: "d" camera
Calin Constantin	....	gaffer
Andrei Cretan	....	assistant camera
Alexandru Durac	....	second assistant camera: "a" camera
Marian Ene	....	key grip
Leonardo Fanone	....	electrician
Florica George	....	electrician
Cristu Ghigiu	....	video assist operator
Chris Helcermanas-Benge	....	still photographer: additional photography
Marius Ivascu	....	camera operator
Marius Ivascu	....	director of photography: second unit
Catalin Kislinger	....	lamp operator
Marty McInally	....	Steadicam operator
Marty McInally	....	camera operator: "a" camera
Darren McLean	....	gaffer
Ralph Mendoza	....	special aerial photographer: SpaceCam
Florin Mihalache	....	key rigging grip
Cristi Onutu	....	camera loader: "a" camera
Doru Perneac	....	lamp operator
Uli Schmidt	....	first assistant camera
Bogdan Alexandru Sicorschi	....	rigging key grip
Catalin Simioana	....	second assistant camera
Bogdan Stanciu	....	camera operator
Remus Tanase	....	rigging grip
Cristian Toader	....	lamp operator
Gheorghe Ursescu	....	best boy
Christine Wagner	....	first assistant camera: "b" camera

Casting Department
Colleen Bolton	....	casting assistant (as Colleen Rogers)
Andreea Tanasescu	....	additional casting: Romania
Mihai Bauman	....	casting (uncredited)

Costume and Wardrobe Department
Ica Varna	....	wardrobe supervisor

Editorial Department
Paul Klassen	....	assistant editor
Kate Kroll	....	post-production assistant
Tom Mayclim	....	negative cutter
Warren Mazutinec	....	first assistant editor
Laurent Morel	....	colorist: dailies
David M. Richardson	....	film editor
Aisla Webster	....	post-production coordinator

Music Department
Lorne Balfe	....	composer: additional music
Christian Halten	....	composer: additional music
Wolfgang Herold	....	music supervisor
Seanine Joyce	....	orchestrator
Alastair King	....	orchestrator
Max Knoth	....	orchestrator
Bradley Miles	....	orchestrator
Matthias Sayer	....	composer: additional music
Matthias Sayer	....	music editor
Michael Schubert	....	score recordist
Jessica de Rooij	....	additional composer: score (uncredited)

Transportation Department
Daniel Andronache	....	driver
Andrei Bulucea	....	driver
Eugen Cerneanu	....	driver
Daniel Ciobanu	....	driver
Gheorghe Ciocarlea	....	driver
Adrian Razvan Ciuraru	....	driver
Marius Constantinescu	....	driver
Viorel Costache	....	driver
Ilie Cotoi	....	driver
Viorel Dobrescu	....	driver
Florea Dorobantu	....	driver
Ionel Dragomir	....	driver
Octavian Dumitrescu	....	driver
Filip Florica	....	driver
Valentin Gaman	....	driver
Serban Gheorghe	....	driver
Radu Haiu	....	driver
Daniel Hotineanu	....	driver
Gheorghe Iancu	....	driver
Marian Iancu	....	driver
Ionel Ilie	....	driver
Sorin Lazar	....	driver
Ion Manea	....	driver
Adrian Minca	....	driver
Gheorghe Mirea	....	driver
Iulian Moise	....	driver
Adrian Nita	....	transportation coordinator
Catalin Nita	....	transportation captain
Fabian Pauna	....	driver
Dragos Popescu	....	driver
Ion Sandu	....	driver
Ionel Scortanu	....	driver
George-Stefan Simion	....	driver
Gheorghe Stan	....	driver
Daniel Stoica	....	driver
Aurel Vitale	....	driver
Nicolae Vlasceanu	....	driver
Dragos Zalana	....	driver
Mihai Zamfirescu	....	driver

Other crew
Lupsa Amalia	....	assistant: Mr. Davis
Ilinca Anghelescu	....	assistant: Mr. Kingsley
Mariam Arthur	....	assistant: Mr. Sales
Micheal Bahta	....	production assistant
Petruta Baicu	....	catering staff
Rodica Barcanescu	....	catering staff
Mihaela Capan	....	assistant: Mr. Clarke
Ioana Cernescu	....	accommodation production assistant
Razvan Comeaga	....	location manager
Raul Cosma	....	key set production assistant
Marian Dan	....	chef
Sorina Dumitru	....	location manager
Gabi Gradinaru	....	caterer
Maria Gradinaru	....	caterer
Michael Grudman	....	post-production accountant
Matthias Herold	....	legal: Herold Studios
Joel Hurley	....	assistant location manager: re-shoot, Vancouver
Ada Maria Ichim	....	script supervisor (as Ana Maria Ichim)
Anne Jacobsen	....	production accountant
Sean Jordan	....	marketing
Hanno Kaempf	....	legal: Herold Studios
Krista Kelloway	....	assistant: Mr. Van Arragon
Micah Kelpin	....	assistant: Mr. Williamson
Tanja Knight	....	production assistant (as Tanja Sobieraj)
Trent Martin	....	web master
Alexandru Molea	....	set production assistant
Cosmina Museat	....	assistant: Dr. Boll
Lucia Nasi	....	assistant: Ms. Rodriguez
Liliana Nita	....	assistant production accountant
Mirela Pancu	....	production accountant
Jane Pearson	....	assistant accountant
Catalin Popa	....	cashier
Dorina Popa	....	cashier
Titi Radoaie	....	production assistant
Kerstin Risch	....	accountant: Herold Studios
Letitia Rosculet	....	assistant: Ms. Loken
Dumitra Scortaru	....	catering staff
Joey Setter	....	production coordinator
Suzanne E. Smith	....	assistant accountant (as Suzanne Clements)
Tracy D. Smith	....	script coordinator
Todd Spangler	....	assistant: Mr. Madsen
Doru Stan	....	production assistant
Izabela Stanciu	....	catering staff
Anamaria Telega	....	production coordinator
Alan Noel Vega	....	fight choreographer (as Noel Vega)
Emilia Vlad	....	production secretary
William Wanstrom	....	publicist
Dan Lee West	....	assistant to producer

Production Companies

• Boll Kino Beteiligungs GmbH & Co. KG (as Boll KG Productions)
• Herold Productions (in association with)
• Pitchblack Pictures (as Pitchblack Pictures)

Distributors

• 41 (2006) (worldwide) (theatrical)
• Gulf Film (2006) (United Arab Emirates) (theatrical)
• Lizard Cinema Trade (2005) (Russia) (theatrical)
• Pioneer Films (2006) (Philippines) (theatrical)
• Romar Entertainment (2006) (USA) (theatrical)
• 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment (2006) (Australia) (DVD)
• 20th Century Fox de Argentina (2008) (Argentina) (all media)
• 2450 Visual Entertainment (2006) (Canada) (DVD)
• Flashstar Home Vídeo (2006) (Brazil) (DVD)
• Gativideo (2008) (Argentina) (DVD)
• Nordisk Film (2006) (Finland) (DVD)
• Splendid Film (2006) (Germany) (all media)
• Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment (2007) (Netherlands) (DVD)
• Universal Home Entertainment (2006) (USA) (DVD)

Special Effects

• Technicolor Creative Services (visual effects)
• Pictorion_das Werk (visual effects)
• DCDC (visual effects)
• Elektrofilm (visual effects) (as Elektrofilm Postproduction Facilities)
• upstart! Animation (visual effects)
• Chris Creatures (special makeup effects)

Other Companies

• Majesco Entertainment  based on the video game entitled (as Majesco)
• Mediapro Studios  production facilities
• All Deco International  sculptures
• Cine-Byte Imaging  35 mm digital intermediate
• Herold Studios  sound post-production
• Line 21 Media Services Ltd.  closed captioning
• Line 21 Media Services Ltd.  combined dialogue, continuity & spotting list
• Media Magik Entertainment  post-production
• Wanstrom & Associates  publicity

Also Known As:

MPAA:

Rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity

Runtime:

95 min | Philippines:92 min (cut)

Country:

USA | Germany

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital | SDDS | DTS

Certification:

USA:R (certificate #41938) | Philippines:R-13 (MTRCB) | Australia:R | Canada:13+ (Quebec) | Canada:18A (Alberta/British Columbia/Manitoba/Ontario) | Hungary:18 | Singapore:R21 (cut) | Finland:K-18 | Germany:18 (SPIO/JK) | New Zealand:R16 | Netherlands:16 | Malaysia:18SG (DVD) | Argentina:16 | UK:18 | South Korea:18

Filming Locations:

Fagaras, Romania

Company:

Boll Kino Beteiligungs GmbH & Co. KG

Trivia:

Despite extremely poor US box office returns, the film opened in the top 10 in many foreign theaters, including Russia (#3) and the United Arab Emirates (#1).

Goofs:

Continuity: During the monastery fight, Rayne throws one of her swords to save Sebastian. She is kidnapped, and the Brimstone guys leave to rescue her. Nobody retrieves her sword, yet she has them both back later in the movie.

Quotes:

Rayne:[to Kagan] I would sooner rot in your dungeon than sit at your table!

Movie Connections:

Featured in Bloodsucking Cinema (2007) (TV)

A Must See!!!

Just kidding...just kidding!! Why, after wasting nearly 2 hours of my life watching this trash, should I waste another hour or so dissing this movie, when everything about it has already been killed stone dead by previous reviewers? Because, dear friends, I am so excited I just had to share with you my delight at finding the "worst cameo of all time", so magnificent in its awfulness that it could (with sheer effort of will) only be equalled, but never beaten.

It was Sunday. Raining. What the hell, "Bloodrayne" sounded good. Hmmm, Masden, Kingsley, Zane...can't be so bad.

After around 20 minutes or so of this "crowning turd" of a movie my "intellectual defence mechanism" automatically kicked-in and took my mind away to my next vacation, what to have for dinner, and the contents of my Partner's trousers. Sailing away on a sea of serenity(did I actually fall asleep?)I thought myself immune and totally protected from the train wreck of a movie unfolding on the other side of my eyelids. But then....wait! What's this? Snippets of dialogue totally unconnected with the Tequilla Sunrise I was drinking began to pervade my mind. Slowly at first, but growing in intensity. Warily, fearful that I may inadvertently catch another glimpse of Ben Kingsley's excruciating acting/staring, I opened one eye. Was I seeing/hearing things? I pulled myself up in the chair and opened the other eye (after assuring myself that Kingsley was nowhere to be seen). There, in front of me...what can never be described by a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years. The root canal work of movie making, the Xanadu of awfulness....Meatloaf trying to character-act.

I checked out the other movie-goers...hmmm, not many left....and they were all, very much like myself, staring wide eyed and open mouthed at witnessing the birth of a legend. Seriously, it was like watching the first moon landing all over again. This is one piece of crap for man...a whole turd for mankind.

I am sorry that I go on a little, but I cannot find words to describe the cameo piece by Meatloaf, in fact probably such words do not exist - they must be invented - "discrapungent" - try that one. I can only try to capture the magnificent awfulness by describing the effect that it had on myself and, I suspect, the other viewers.

If you haven't seen it (and I beg you all to do so) cut along to any cinema brave enough to show it and set your alarm clock for around 50 minutes. If you have trouble sleeping at the beginning, don't worry, Ben Kingsley will stare you into blessed catatonia....trust me.