Edit
The Pink Panther (2006) Poster

Quotes

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?

7 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?

7 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?

Ponton: Yes.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?

Ponton: Um, completely.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!

6 of 6 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to take a closer look at your bawls.

Larocque: My what?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Your bawls. Your big, brass bawls.

Larocque: Uh, sure.

[starts to unzip pants]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [Picks up brass bowl on table and examines it]

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[footsteps are heard in the background]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.

[a male in his forties walks in]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bizu: [referring to Gluant] And now he's pushing up the daisies.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!

Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.

Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is there anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Are you carrying a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Who are you?

Yuri: I'm Yuri, the trainer.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And what is it you do, Yuri the trainer?

Yuri: I train.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: So, you are Yuri the trainer who trains.

Yuri: [looks down]

7 of 8 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Without warning, I will attack you. In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert.

[attacks Ponton, but Ponton hits Clouseau]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good one.

Ponton: Thank you.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nigel Boswell/Agent 006: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course! It means you are one away from the big time.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [asking Ponton about his wife] Tell me about her.

Ponton: I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.

[pauses]

Ponton: What about yourself?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.

[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Monsieur Larocque.

Larocque: Yes.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [talking about the vase stuck on his right hand] Is this vase of great value?

Larocque: It is a worthless imitation.

[slams the vase on the nearby desk in order to break it, but ends up breaking both the vase and the table in the process]

Larocque: But that desk was... priceless.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[trying to teach Clouseau an English accent]

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [walking around the room] It is... lovely weather we are having. I hope the weather continues.

[chops curtain, table, etc., usually breaking something]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The area is secure.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good one.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes, politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.

Nicole: That's good. Did you say that?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [looks around] Yes, I did.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What? What did you say?

Ponton: Nothing.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.

[starts eating the hamburger he was holding and enjoys it]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nicole: Do you live alone, Inspector?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes, I do.

Nicole: Do you ever get lonely?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No. Not since the Internet.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Female Reporter: Inspector!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes.

Female Reporter: Yes, what is your initial premise?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That Gluant did not want to be killed. Everthing else follows like liquid mercury flowing down a - a - a sloping thing.

Female Reporter: How long do you think it will take to find the killer?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And you are?

Ponton: Gilbert Ponton. Detective, second class. I've been assigned to work with you.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And what qualifications do you have for police work?

Ponton: My family's done police work in Paris for nine generations.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And before that?

Ponton: We were policemen in the surrounding areas for 200 years.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And before that?

Ponton: Immigrants from various countries in Europe all involving police work.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And before that?

Ponton: Farmers.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Hmm. So you are a little lamb who has come to Clouseau for to learn.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ponton: [after Xania has invited Clouseau to dinner] It could be a trap.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Who cares?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are Yuri the trainer who trains.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The good-cop/bad-cop routine is working perfectly.

Ponton: You know, usually two different cops do that.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[accidentally drops a pill of Viagra into the sink]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My miracle pill for the middle-aged man!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are Yuri the trainer who trains.

Yuri: Yeah, that's right.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am looking for a dead body. Perhaps you can tell me where it is.

Yuri: Oh, yeah. I heard it was in the locker room. You go down the hall, make a right and two lefts.

[seeing that Clouseau has almost burst into laughter and is trying to control it]

Yuri: You are finding something amusing here?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam?

Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo"

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent.

Yuri: What?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What?

Yuri: What? What?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What?

Yuri: What?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I don't have time for this. I have to solve a murder.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Someone had words with Gluant... the night before he was killed.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [points his hand to a guard all of a sudden, releasing a vase stuck in his left hand, and Ponton, who was standing next to the guard catches it in time] Didn't you?

Larocque's Guard: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You didn't threaten to brek his legs and then crush him into powder?

Larocque's Guard: [confused] No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Perhaps I saw that on TV.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: He's very easy to spot. He's got white hair, a thin mustache... Brimming with confidence, and *completely* lost.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Agent 006: I'm not supposed to be here, remember?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ponton: [chasing masked assassin]

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: It's Clouseau. Arrest him.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [running after Ponton]

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: ...Which one is he?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [falls off banister]

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: That would be him.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe!

Yuri: But we have matches in Asia.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: All right. Do not leave Europe or Asia!

Yuri: And we also have a match in Brazil.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe, Asia, or the Americas!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Let's seal it with a kiss.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Newspapers!

[places newspaper over his face]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nicole: I've been looking for you two all over! Were the hell have you been?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Did you say that booth was soundproof?

Roland Saint-Germain: Yes.

[walks into the booth and farts, everyone can hear him by the "turned on" microphone]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [after falling through the ceiling, to the desk clerk] We need fresh towels in 204.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nigel Boswell/Agent 006: It is very important that you remain calm and do not turn around

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Remain calm, do not turn around

Nigel Boswell/Agent 006: Behind you in the casino are the Gas Mask Bandits

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [turning around and not remaining calm] Oh my God. Ze Gas Mask Bandits

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[last lines]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ooh... that breeze feels good.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The day before the murder, you were seen hitting the victim and saying... what?

Ponton: 'I am going to kill you, I am going to kill you'

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You see, I have waited a long time to prove myself, and now I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. I intend to show the world exactly who I am and what I can do. I must not fail.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Find him. His name is... Clouseau.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Monsieur, you must move your vehicle at once.

Old man in wheelchair: Oh... I'm so so sorry Officer Clouseau my chair... it won't move.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Hmm... let me see

[investigates the wheel chair]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: your battery charge is not in let me see. Right so the positive goes to negative

[puts the positive charge in the negative plug]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: and the negative to the positive

[puts the negative charge into the positive plug]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: . Okay you are ready to go

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [after the old man reverses backwards into a market stall] Okay next stop.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I've got Bizu in the interrogation room.

Ponton: What's the plan?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'm going to give him the "good-cop / bad-cop" routine.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are the soccer player known as Bizu?

Bizu: Yes.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You were acquainted with Yves Gluant?

Bizu: I am glad he is pushing up daisies.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not pushing up daisies, he is dead!

Bizu: It's an idiom.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You sir, are the idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison, you will answer the next question: Did you kill him?

Bizu: I would have loved to have killed him, but some lucky bastard beat me to it.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You disgust me. I'll be right back!

[leaves room]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [re-enters room] Cigarette?

Bizu: No. Thanks.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good for you. Bizu, I knew you didn't do it; someone else did, and they are trying to set you up.

Bizu: You'll help me?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course I'll help you. Now, do you have any idea who else might have done this terrible thing?

Bizu: His partner in those stupid restaurants, Larocque.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Raymond Larocque, the casino owner.

Bizu: Gluant would steal money from the restaurants and use it to gamble. My guess is Larocque got fed up and had him killed.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Bizu, I like you. I'm going to help you. You and I are going to make a great team.

[leaves room and shuts door]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The good cop / bad cop routine is working perfectly.

Ponton: You know, usually two different cops do that.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page