Chilly Beach (2003– )
Dale McDonald: [looking over his sled dog team of wiener dogs] How come my dogs are a dog-and-a-half long but only half a dog high?
Jacques LaRock: Paper towel. No toilet on Earth can withstand its awesome power.
Dale McDonald: There's something sinister going on in this town. Sinister and... uh... what's another word for sinister?
Dale McDonald: It's the end of civilization as we know it! And I don't even know it all that good!
Angelica: Would you like to have a romantic montage with me?
Constable Al: Oh yes please!
Constable Al: [gasps] Lieutenant Wright! You are here from headquarters!
Lieutenant Wright: Let me hear that gasp of surprise again.
Constable Al: [gasp]
Lieutenant Wright: Well I suppose that will have to do. Although I'm not sure you leapt out of your chair with regulation shock.
Constable Al: [reading a coupon] Buy seventeen cans of beans, get the eighteenth for half price. Oh dear, if only I had been receiving that before purchasing those eighteen cans of beans.
Dale McDonald: You know what you need? A girlfriend.
Constable Al: Really? Oh my goodness gracious. Could romance be the one missing piece of my life for which I have been searching these twenty long minutes?
Dale McDonald: Or a toboggan!
Constable Al: But I would not even know where to be getting one.
Dale McDonald: At the hardware store!
Frank Shackleford: He's talking about a girlfriend!
Dale McDonald: So am I! I almost got a date in the aisle where the toilet parts are.
Rover: It was an unholy beast. Half man, half wiener dog. A were-wiener! I've seen 'em before. Seen what they can do. Even fought one once. Tore a big hole in my pant leg, near the ankle. Almost broke the skin! I couldn't wear shorts for a week!
Biggs: We have a signed contract.
Dale McDonald: We do?
Biggs: [holds out a contract and a pen] Sign here.
Dale McDonald: [signs it]
Biggs: Yes, we do.
Dale McDonald: Oh. Well can't we make a new contract? One that says I don't have to do what you say?
Biggs: I'm sorry, I don't have a pen.
Dale McDonald: But you just gave me this one.
Biggs: Exactly. That was my only one.
Dale McDonald: I have sensitive skin. It hurts when I get punched and kicked.
Dale McDonald: I don't read the newspaper. I don't like all that news. Or paper.
Constable Al: I do not make the rules, sir. I merely enjoy the power rush of enforcing them.
Angus MacAuger: I think I left something in the stove. And I best let it out before it dies.