Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: What in the hell happened back there?
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: But it ain't all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flying is? Well, I suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say.
River Tam: I do. But I like to hear you say it.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Love. You can learn all the math in the 'Verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.
River Tam: Storm's getting worse.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: We'll pass through it soon enough.
The Operative: Do you know what your sin is Mal?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ah Hell... I'm a fan of all seven. But right now... I'm gonna have to go with wrath.
Kaylee Frye: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!
Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [RE: What they found on Miranda] This record here's about twelve years old. Parliament buried it and it stayed buried until River here dug it up. This is what they were afraid she knew. And they were right to fear. There's a universe of folk who're gonna know it, too. Someone *has to* speak for these people.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave.
The Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [to Inara] Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.
Shepherd Book: I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it.
[after the hovercraft makes a crash landing in the hanger of Serenity. Simon runs to his sister]
Dr. Simon Tam: River?
River Tam: I swallowed a bug.
Dr. Simon Tam: In all that time on the ship... I've always regretted... not being with you.
Kaylee Frye: With me? You mean to say... as in sex?
Dr. Simon Tam: I mean to say.
Kaylee Frye: To Hell with this. I'm gonna live!
The Operative: I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't murder children.
The Operative: I do. If I have to.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Why? Do you even know why they sent you?
The Operative: It's not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: So me and mine gotta lay down and die... so you can live in your better world?
The Operative: I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... any more than there is for you. Malcolm... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne Cobb: Yes!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [caught off guard] Well... you can't...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Doctor, I'm takin' your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.
Jayne Cobb: Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
Jayne Cobb: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.
Jayne Cobb: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne Cobb: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades!
Zoë: We crashin' again?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Go talk to your husband. Is the mule prepped?
Zoë: Good to go sir. Just loading her up. Are those grenades?
Jayne Cobb: Cap'n doesn't want them.
Zoë: We're robbing the place, we're not occupying it.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [on the ship's intercom] This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I'll take the shuttle in closer. Zoe, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour... you take this ship and you come and you rescue me.
Zoë: What? And risk my ship?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I mean it. It's cold out there. I don't wanna get left.
[Mal suspects Inara is being forced to lure them into a trap]
Kaylee Frye: But how can you be sure Inara don't just want to see you? Sometimes people have feelings. I'm referring here to people.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Y'all were watching I take it?
Kaylee Frye: Yes?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Did you see us fight?
Kaylee Frye: No.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Trap.
Jayne Cobb: Ain't logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?
Mr. Universe: You can't stop the signal, Mal. Everything goes somewhere, and I go everywhere.
Inara Serra: Mal, what are you doing here?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You invited me.
Inara Serra: I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Well that makes you a tease.
Young River: People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.
Dr. Caron: These are just a few of the images we've recorded. And you can see, it wasn't what we thought. There's been no war here and no terraforming event. The environment is stable. It's the Pax. The G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Well, it works. The people here stopped fighting. And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work, they stopped breeding, talking, eating. There's 30 million people here, and they all just let themselves die.
The Operative: [Speaking on the bridge of his ship] You should have let me see her, Captain. We should have done this as men - not with fire.
[Serenity emerges from the clouds... ]
The Operative: Vessel in range, lock on.
[... and heads straight for the Alliance ships... ]
The Operative: [smirks] Bastard's not even changing course.
[... followed by a swarm of Reaver vessels emerging from the clouds! The Operative freezes]
Alliance Pilot: Sir...?
The Operative: Target the Reavers... Target the Reavers! Target everyone!
The Operative: Somebody, *fire*!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [the Operative has politely asked Mal to return River] You have to open with payment.
The Operative: That is a trap. I offer money, you'll play the man of honor and take umbrage; I ask you to do what is right and you'll play the brigand. I have no stomach for games.
Jayne Cobb: I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me!
[Mal aims pistol squarely at Jayne]
Jayne Cobb: Well, don't shoot me first!
Dr. Simon Tam: We'll get off the ship. River and I will get off at Haven. It'll be for the best.
Kaylee Frye: Nobody's sayin' that.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Nobody but Jayne is sayin' that.
Zoë: So... trap?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Trap.
Zoë: We goin' in?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ain't but a few hours out.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Yeah, but... remember the part where it's a trap?
The Operative: Are you willing to die for your beliefs?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I am...
[they draw. Mal fires first, and the Operative is forced to take cover]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: 'Course, that ain't exactly plan A.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You think she'll hold together?
Zoë: She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is.
River Tam: [seeing visions of dead bodies on Miranda] Run-tse duh shang-dee, ching dai-wuhtzo... make them stop! They're everywhere. Every city, every... every house, every room; they're all inside me! I can hear them all and they're saying... NOTHING! GET UP! Please, get up! Wuo-shang mayer, maysheen byen shr-to. Please God, make me a stone.
River Tam: You take care of me, Simon. You've always taken care of me. My turn.
[she dives through the closing doors, grabs the medikit, and throws it to Simon just before the doors close]
Zoë: Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later.
Dr. Simon Tam: [deciding to leave the ship] River, do you want to stay with them?
River Tam: It isn't safe.
Dr. Simon Tam: No. I fear it isn't safe any more.
River Tam: [quietly] For them.
Zoë: [after breaking into a practically empty bank safe]
Zoë: At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Half of writing history is hiding the truth.
The Operative: I already know you will not see reason.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: The Alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin.
The Operative: I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord.
[Mal tosses mechanism at the Operative]
The Operative: [catching the mechanism] Pulse beacon.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I know she meant to kill me 'fore the Doc put her to sleep, which how exactly does that work anyhow?
Dr. Simon Tam: Safeword. The people who helped me break River out - they had intel that River and the other subjects were being embedded with behavioral conditioning. They taught me a safeword, in case... something happened.
Kaylee Frye: Not sure I get it.
Dr. Simon Tam: A phrase that's encoded in her brain, that makes her fall asleep. If I speak the words, "Eta...
Jayne Cobb: Well don't say it!
Zoë: It only works on her, Jayne.
Jayne Cobb: Oh... Well, now I know that.
Inara Serra: You came to the Training House looking for a fight.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I came looking for you!
Inara Serra: The war's over, Mal.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You tellin' me that cause you think I don't know?
Inara Serra: I've just seen so many sides of you, I wanna make sure I know who I'm dealing with.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I start fightin' a war, I guarantee, you'll see somethin' new.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
Dr. Mathias: Well, unfortunately, I forgot to bring a sword.
Dr. Mathias: [as the Operative pulls out his sword] I would put that down right now if I were you.
The Operative: Would you be killed in your sleep, like an ailing pet?
Zoë: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?
[looks at the other crew members struggling with their guns]
Jayne Cobb: Well, I might.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [greeting the twins] Fanty. Mingo.
Mingo: He's Mingo.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: He's Fanty. You're Mingo.
Mingo: How is it you always know?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Fanty's prettier.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: It's of interest to me how much you seem to know about that world.
Shepherd Book: I wasn't born a shepherd, Mal.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You have to tell me about that sometime.
Shepherd Book: [pause] No, I don't.
Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right."
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: What does that mean?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Bit of a rockety ride. Nothing to worry about.
Dr. Simon Tam: I'm not worried.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [mocking Simon's seriousness] Fear's nothing to be ashamed of, Doctor.
Dr. Simon Tam: This isn't fear. This is anger.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Well, kinda hard to tell one from t'other, face like yours.
Dr. Simon Tam: Yes, well, I imagine if it were fear, my eyes would be wider.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I'll look for that next time.
The Operative: Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is.
The Operative: Serenity... you lost everything in that battle. Everything you had, everything you were. How did you go on?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: If you're still standing there when that engine starts, you never will figure it out.
Dr. Mathias: [referring to Dr. Simon Tam who has just helped his sister, River Tam, escape] Gave up a brilliant future in medicine as well. It's madness.
The Operative: Madness?
[Ambles over to the holographic projection of River and Simon escaping through an air vent]
The Operative: Have you looked at this scan carefully, Doctor? At his face? It's love, in point of fact. Something a good deal more dangerous.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playing at? We got the primary buffer panel coming right...
Kaylee Frye: Everything's shiny, Cap'n. Not to fret.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You told me those entry couplings would hold for another week!
Kaylee Frye: That was six months ago, Cap'n.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: My ship don't crash. If she crashes, you crashed her.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I look to be bored by many more sermons before you slip. Just don't move.
Shepherd Book: Can't order me around, boy. I'm not one of your crew.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Yes, you are.
Teacher: Earth that was could no longer sustain our numbers, we were so many. We found a new solar system, dozens of planets and hundreds of moons. Each one terraformed, a process taking decades, to support human life, to be new Earths. The Central Planets formed the Alliance. Ruled by an interplanetary parliament, the Alliance was a beacon of civilization. The savage outer planets were not so enlightened and refused Alliance control. The war was devastating, but the Alliance's victory over the Independents ensured a safer universe. And now everyone can enjoy the comfort and enlightenment of our civilization.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [shouting down into the vault] We're coming down to empty the vault now!
Vault Guard: [calling back up] You'll have to give me your authorization password!
[Jayne fires a burst from his automatic rifle]
Vault Guard: Uh... okay!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now...
[River cocks the gun she is pointing at Mal]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Or, we could talk more.
Shepherd Book: When I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?
Mr. Universe: You guys always bring me the very best violence.
Jayne Cobb: [as Mal's talking to the Vault Guard] MAL!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Every heist he's gotta start yellin' my name!
Kaylee Frye: If you had a care for anybody's heart...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You knew he was gonna leave. We never been nothing but a way station to those two. And how the hell do you know what he feels? He's got River to worry on, but he still could've shown you. If I truly wanted someone bad enough, wouldn't be a thing in the 'verse that could stop me from going to her.
Kaylee Frye: [nods disbelievingly] Tell that to Inara!
Zoë: It's a fair bet the Alliance knows about Mr. Universe. They're gonna see this coming.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No. They're not going to see this coming.
Trade Agent: You all are Browncoats, eh? Fought for independence? Petty thieving ain't exactly soldiers' work.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: War's long done. We're all just folk now.
Dr. Simon Tam: [to River] If there's any fighting, drop to the floor or run away.
[pause; regarding the rest of the crew]
Dr. Simon Tam: It's okay to leave them to die.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Just get us on the ground!
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: That part'll happen pretty definitely.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd for that?
Zoë: In the time of war, we would never have left a man behind.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Maybe that's why we lost.
Kaylee Frye: [to Simon who wasn't on the mission that the captain and others just got back from] Are you ok?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Is *he* OK?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ready to get off this heap, back to civilized life?
Inara Serra: I, uh... I don't know.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Good answer.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: The leg is good. It'll bleed plenty and we avoid any unnecessary organs.
Vault Guard: I was thinking more of a graze.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No. You don't want it to look like you just gave up.
Vault Guard: No. I get that!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I've never credited the Alliance with an overabundance of brains and if you're the best they've got...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse... but you take a boat in the air that you don't love... she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down... tells you she's hurting before she keels. Makes her a home.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [to Inara] But you fog things up! You always have. You spin me about. I wish like hell you were elsewhere.
Inara Serra: [sighs] I was.
Jayne Cobb: She is startin' to damage my calm.
Jayne Cobb: She's *right*! Everybody's dead!... This whole world is dead for no reason!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?
Dr. Simon Tam: I thought she was getting better.
Jayne Cobb: And I thought they was getting off. Didn't we have an intricate plan on how they was gonna be not here any more?
Kaylee Frye: We couldn't leave them now.
Jayne Cobb: No, now that she's a killer woman, we ought to be bringing her tea and dumplings.
[preparing for heist]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Hey, little one. Understand your part in all this?
River Tam: Do you?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: It's what I do, darlin'.
[River walks away]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: It's what I do.
Lenore: Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: They take you down, I don't expect to grieve overmuch. Like to kill you myself, I see you again.
The Operative: You won't...
[small, grim smile]
The Operative: There is nothing left to see.
Mr. Universe: [Watching the video feed of River fighting in the Maidenhead] And, she falls asleep. Which, she would be sleepy.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Can you go back? See if anybody spoke with her before she acted up... made any kind of contact with her.
River Tam: [On video] Miranda...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Miranda? Go back further.
Mr. Universe: [Watching Oaty Bar commercial] No...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Uh... please?
Mr. Universe: Oh, Mal, you're very smart. Someone is talking to her.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: The oaty bar?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Subliminal. It's a subliminal message, broadwaved to trigger her.
Mr. Universe: I've been seeing this code pop up all over, the last few weeks. It's Alliance, and it's high military.
Mr. Universe: They have gone to enormous trouble to find your little friend... and found her they have. Do you all know what it is you're carrying?
Inara Serra: I'm fine! I'm... giddy.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ya know, for a woman schooled in telling men what they want to hear, you ain't much of a liar.
Zoë: [the elevator opens] Sir?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: It's done.
[looks at his crew notices River's missing]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Report. River?
[pause then the hold door opens. River's standing with weapons in hand and dead Reavers all around her]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: This is how it is. Anybody doesn't wanna fly with me any more, this is your port of harbor. There's a lot of fine ways to die. I ain't waiting for the Alliance to choose mine.
[shoots Alliance soldier crawling from wreckage]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I mean to confound these bungers. Take my shot at getting to Miranda. Maybe find something I can use to get clear of this. So I hear a word out of any of you that ain't helping me out or taking your leave, I will shoot you down. Get to work!
The Operative: There are a lot of innocent people being killed in the air right now.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You have no idea how true that is.
Dr. Simon Tam: But I think when they triggered you, it somehow brought this up. This memory.
River Tam: It isn't mine. The memory, it isn't mine. And I shouldn't have to carry it. It isn't mine. Don't make me sleep again.
Dr. Simon Tam: I won't. I won't.
River Tam: Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan. Squish.
Dr. Simon Tam: Don't say that! Not ever. We'll get through this.
River Tam: Things are going to get much, much worse.
Kaylee Frye: Don't pay anybody in advance. And don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky.
The Operative: [to Mal] You are fooling yourself, Captain. Nothing here is what it seems. You are not the plucky hero, the Alliance is not an evil empire, and this is not the grand arena.
Inara Serra: And that's not incense.
[He turns to look: the incense stick burns away - rather like a fuse - and FLASHES in an explosion of light and sound]
The Operative: I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Good.
[pulls gun and shoots Operative in the chest, knocking him into the wall, grabs Inara and gets ready to leave]
The Operative: [grabs Mal from behind] I am, however, wearing full body armor. I am not a moron!
The Operative: You're fighting a war you've already lost.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Yeah, well, I'm known for that.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
The Operative: "Key members of Parliament". Key. The minds behind every military, diplomatic and covert operation in the galaxy, and you put them in a room with a psychic.
Dr. Mathias: Look... even if River Tam did by any chance read the minds of any of the visiting Parliment members here, whatever government secrets she may have read she may not even remember any them for they are all probaly buried under layers of psychosis.
The Operative: Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: So I'm noticing. Is there a problem we don't know of?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You got a sweet take kissing your foot. How about you take your 25% and we can talk about the next job?
Fanty: Well our end is forty, precious.
Jayne Cobb: My muscular buttocks it's forty.
Mr. Universe: There is no news. There is only the truth of the signal. What I see. And, there's the puppet theater the Parliament jesters foist on the somnambulant public.
Fanty: [watching River fighting in a bar] Do you know that girl?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I really don't.
Dr. Simon Tam: [referring to River] One simple job. She'll be fine.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: She is fine! Except for still being crazy! She's the picture of health.
Shepherd Book: [dying] I killed the ship that killed us. Not very Christian.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You did what was right.
Shepherd Book: Coming from you that means - almost nothing.
Shepherd Book: It's not your way, Mal.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I have a way? Is that better than a plan?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: This is exactly what I didn't want. I wanted simple, I wanted in-and-out, I wanted easy money.
Zoë: Things always get a little more complicated, don't they, sir?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Once, just once, I want things to go according to the gorram plan!
Dr. Mathias: I need to see your clearance.
The Operative: And you are right to insist.
[the operative places his hand on a scaner pad and an authorization color file appears on the computer screen]
Dr. Mathias: Apologies. An operative of the parliament will of course have full full co-operation. I... I'm not sure what... I see no listing of rank or name.
The Operative: I have neither. Like this facility, I don't exist.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I didn't start this.
Jayne Cobb: No, that's right. Alliance starts the war, and then you volunteer. Battle of Serenity, Mal. Besides Zoe here, how many...
[Mal turns to walk away]
Jayne Cobb: Hey, I'm talking at you! How many men in your platoon came out of there alive?
Zoë: You wanna leave this room.
Jayne Cobb: Damn right, I do.
Mr. Universe: From here to the eyes and the ears of the 'Verse, that's my motto, or it might be if I start having a motto.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you. Dong le ma?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: You all wanna be looking very intently at your own belly buttons. I see a head start to rise, violence is going to ensue. Probably guessed we mean to be thieving here but what we're after is not yours. So, let's have no undue fussing.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [after getting punched by Simon] I'm a hairsbreadth from riddlin' you with holes, Doctor!
Fruity Oaty Bar Jingle: Fruity Oaty Bars! Make a man out of a mouse! Fruity Oaty Bars! Make you bust out of your blouse! Eat them all the time! Let them blow your mind... ohh! Fruity Oaty Bars!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: It should have been me that got hit.
Shepherd Book: The thought... had crossed my mind.
[chased by a Reaver aircraft]
Jayne Cobb: How come they ain't blowin' us out the air?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: They wanna run us down. The up-close kill.
River Tam: They want us alive when they eat us.
Zoë: We're not going to get to you in time.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Keep moving, honey. We're coming to you.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [about protective goggles] Fine, I'll wear 'em. But I'll look like an idiot.
Zoë: I should think you'd be used to that, sir.
The Operative: Every minute you keep River Tam from me, more people will die.
River Tam: Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan, squish.
[giggles whilst crying]
Mr. Universe: I cried like a baby, a hungry, angry baby.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I got no answers for you, Inara. I got no rudder. Wind blows northerly, I go north. That's who I am. Now, maybe that ain't a man to lead, but they have to follow. So you wanna tear me down... do it inside your own mind. I'm not trying to tear you down. But you fog things up. You always have. You spin me about. I wish like hell you was elsewhere.
Inara Serra: I was.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ah, hell, Shepherd, I ain't looking for help from on high. That's a long wait for a train don't come.
Shepherd Book: Why when I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?
Inara Serra: You came to the training house looking for a fight.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I came looking for you.
Inara Serra: I just want to know who I'm dealing with. I've seen too many versions of you to be sure.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [moves closer to Inara] I start fighting a war. I guarantee you'll see something new.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [after landing on Miranda] Well, something sure the hell ain't right.
The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Doctor?
Dr. Mathias: I wonder if...
The Operative: It's pride.
Jayne Cobb: What're we expectin' to find here that equals the worth of a turd?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: We're going to need paint. We're going to need red paint.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [leading the Reaver fleet straight into the Alliance's, and caught in the middle, trying to get to Mr. Universe] The chicken's come home to roost.
Zoë: We should hit town right during Sunday worship. Won't be any crowds.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: If Fanty and Mingo are right about the payroll, this could look to be a sunny day for us.
Kaylee Frye: Sometimes people have feelings. I'm referrin' here to people.