Saravan, and his best friend Peter, enlist the help of their lunatic friends trying to con a young woman; Kate into believing Saravan is wealthy. By heisting a multimillion dollar mansion ... See full summary »
Running from his mistakes, Jesus heads to Helper, Utah to reconnect with his mentor/teacher John-Roger's past. Through dreams and a Mystical book, he learns from his mentor's past-life ... See full summary »
Dumber Heroes is a light-weight film set in a weird hospital populated by spies, mental people, an exorcist, you name it! Plus the world's most beautiful nurse. Together, they're tracking ... See full summary »
Sara Malakul Lane,
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Sara Malakul Lane,
Only Slightly Less Unwatchable than Magma: Volcanic Disaster
To Hell with seismological studies, & geothermal surveys. If you're looking for a way to find out about an impending volcanic disaster, then what you need to do is get your recently deceased wife to commune with a supernaturally possessed, mute, Italian teenage girl. That's what our hero, Russell Woods was smart enough to do, & not a minute too soon, as the town's clerics were likely going to burn her at the stake, as a demon infested witch.
Luckily, she paints fairly surrealistic depictions of lunar cycles or some such hogwash, & sets volcano photographer Russell, the sole voice of reason, on the path to saving the entire population of the small Italian village where his late wife was raised.
Soooo... as of late, I've become a veritable connoisseur of crappy "Straight to video" disaster flicks, as I have a friend who works for Blockbuster, & he often gives me stacks of dvds that would otherwise have been destroyed, & turned into packaging materials, or shipped straight to a landfill.
Sadly, I now fear that I was too haste in interfering with this movie's final destiny, of rotting in a vast heap of trash. Now, far be it for me to be completely negative, so I'll offer something on a positive note. It is a small victory that I, a man of much patience, was able to sit through the entire 90 minutes of this film, which is more than I can say for the aforementioned Xander Berkley vehicle "Magma: Volcanic Disaster", which was so bloody dull & awful, I had to shut if off after an hour.
As for this slightly better volcano disaster flick, I'd recommend only watching it, if someone gives you a free copy, & you have 90 minutes to flush down the crapper. The up side is you'll have much more respect for Pierce Brosnan's "Dante's Peak", & Tommy Lee Jones' "Volcano" It'll make you laugh, & try, unsuccessfully, to make you cry, & you'll likely pause it, at least once, & forget you were watching it, & then go back & finish it, & then wonder why you just didn't forget it completely, in lieu of getting on with your life
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