Dolores Umbridge: Please, tell them I mean no harm.
Harry Potter: Sorry, Professor, but I must not tell lies.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style.
Harry Potter: This connection between me and Voldemort... what if the reason for it is that I am becoming more like him? I just feel so angry, all the time. What if after everything that I've been through, something's gone wrong inside me? What if I'm becoming bad?
Sirius Black: I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.
[Ron and Hermione ask Harry about his first kiss with Cho]
Ron Weasley: Well? How was it?
Harry Potter: Wet. I mean, she was sort of crying.
Ron Weasley: [laughs] That bad at it, are you?
Hermione Granger: I'm sure Harry's kissing was more than satisfactory. Cho spends half her time crying these days.
Ron Weasley: You'd think a bit of snogging would cheer her up.
Hermione Granger: Don't you understand how she must be feeling? Well, obviously she's feeling sad about Cedric, and therefore confused about liking Harry, guilty about kissing him, conflicted because Umbridge is pressing to sack her mum from the Ministry, and frightened about failing her OWLs because she's so busy worrying about everything else.
Ron Weasley: One person couldn't feel all that. They'd explode!
Hermione Granger: Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon...
Harry Potter: How come you're not at the feast?
Luna Lovegood: I've lost all my possessions. Apparently people have been hiding them.
Harry Potter: That's awful!
Luna Lovegood: Oh, it's all good fun. But as this is the last night, I really do need them back.
Harry Potter: Do you want any help finding them?
Luna Lovegood: I'm sorry about your godfather, Harry.
[clasps his hand comfortingly]
Harry Potter: Are you sure you don't want any help looking?
Luna Lovegood: That's all right. Anyway, my mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end.
[they look up and see a pair of her shoes hanging from the ceiling arch]
Luna Lovegood: If not always in the way we expect.
Lord Voldemort: [to Dumbledore via Harry's voice] You've lost, old man.
Harry Potter: [to Voldemort] You're the weak one. And you'll never know love,or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.
Ron Weasley: Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met. If I'm ever rude to you...
Hermione Granger: I'll know you've gone back to normal.
Harry Potter: [to the D.A. members] Working hard is important, but there's something that matters even more. Believing in yourself. Think of it this way: Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now. Students. If they can do it, why not us?
Hermione Granger: Um... Hi! You all know why we're here. We need a teacher. A proper teacher. One who's had real experience defending themselves against the Dark Arts.
Zacharias Smith: Why?
Ron Weasley: Why. Because You-Know-Who's back, you tosspot.
Zacharias Smith: [nods toward Harry] So he says.
Hermione Granger: So Dumbledore says.
Zacharias Smith: So Dumbledore says because he says! The point is, where's the proof?
Slightly Creepy Boy: If Potter could tell us more about how Diggory got killed...
Harry Potter: I'm not going to talk about Cedric, so if that's why you're here you might as well clear out now.
Harry Potter: [aside to Hermione]
Harry Potter: C'mon, Hermione, let's go. They're just here because they think I'm some sort of freak.
Hermione Granger: Harry, wait!
Luna Lovegood: Is it true you can produce a patronus charm?
Hermione Granger: Yes. I've seen it.
Dean Thomas: Blimey, Harry! I didn't know you could do that!
Neville Longbottom: And he killed a basilisk, with the sword in Dumbledore's office.
Ginny Weasley: It's true.
Ron Weasley: Third year he fought off about a hundred dementors at once.
Hermione Granger: And last year he really did fight off You-Know-Who in the flesh.
Harry Potter: Wait... look, it all sounds *great* when you say it like that. But the truth is most of that was just luck. I didn't know what I was doing half the time, I nearly always had help...
Hermione Granger: He's just being modest.
Harry Potter: No, Hermione, I'm not. Facing this stuff in real life is not like school. In school, if you make a mistake you can just try again tomorrow, but out there, when you're a second away from being murdered or watching a friend die right before your eyes... you don't know what that's like.
Hermione Granger: You're right, Harry, we don't. That's why we need your help. Because if we're having any chance against beating... Voldemort.
Nigel 2nd Year: He's really back?
Dolores Umbridge: [during an inspection] You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?
Severus Snape: Yes.
Dolores Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful?
Severus Snape: [with annoyance in voice] Obviously.
[looking at the tapestry with the Black family tree]
Sirius Black: I hated the lot of them. My parents, with their pure-blood mania... my repulsive cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange...
[he points to a scorched hole in the tapestry over his name]
Sirius Black: My mother did that after I ran away. Charming woman.
Neville Longbottom: So how are we going to get to London?
Harry Potter: Look, it's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, all of you, but - but I've got you into enough trouble as it is.
[walks past everyone]
Neville Longbottom: Dumbledore's Army's supposed to be about doing something real.
[Harry stops turns around to face them]
Neville Longbottom: Or was all that just words to you?
Ron Weasley: ...Maybe you don't have to do this all by yourself, mate.
Harry Potter: ...So how are we going to get to London?
Luna Lovegood: We fly, of course.
[referring to Ron's Christmas jumper]
Hermione Granger: I can't understand why you don't want to wear it, Ronald.
Ron Weasley: Cause I'll look like a bloody idiot, that's why.
Hermione Granger: No more than usual.
Harry Potter: I've been thinking about something Dumbledore said to me.
Hermione Granger: What's that?
Harry Potter: That even though we've got a fight ahead of us, we've got one thing that Voldemort doesn't have.
Ron Weasley: Yeah?
Harry Potter: Something worth fighting for.
Sirius Black: Get away from my Godson!
[punches Mr. Malfoy in the face]
Dolores Umbridge: Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven. But you will be pleased to know from now on, you will be following a carefully structured, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic. Yes?
Hermione Granger: There's nothing in here about using defensive spells.
Dolores Umbridge: Using spells? Ha ha! Well I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom.
Ron Weasley: We're not gonna use magic?
Dolores Umbridge: You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way.
Harry Potter: Well, what use is that? If we're gonna be attacked it won't be risk-free.
Dolores Umbridge: Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class.
Dolores Umbridge: It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.
Harry Potter: And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?
Dolores Umbridge: There is nothing out there, dear! Who do you imagine would want to attack children like yourself?
Harry Potter: I don't know, maybe, Lord Voldemort!
Harry Potter: First we've got to find a place to practice where Umbridge won't find out.
Ginny Weasley: The Shrieking Shack?
Harry Potter: It's too small.
Hermione Granger: The Forbidden Forest?
Ron Weasley: Not bloody likely!
Ginny Weasley: Harry, what happens if Umbridge does find out?
Hermione Granger: Who cares? I mean, it's sort of exciting, isn't it, breaking the rules.
Ron Weasley: Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger?
Hermione Granger: Anyway, at least we know one positive thing that came from today.
Harry Potter: What's that?
Hermione Granger: Cho couldn't take her eyes off you, could she?
Sirius Black: If anyone's got a right to know it's Harry. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't even know Voldemort was back! He's not a child, Molly!
Mrs. Weasley: He's not an adult either! He's not James, Sirius.
Sirius Black: He's not your son.
Mrs. Weasley: He's as good as! Who else as he got?
Sirius Black: He's got me!
Harry Potter: This is mad. Who'd want to be taught by me? I'm a nutter, remember?
Ron Weasley: Look on the bright side. You can't be any worse than old toad face.
Harry Potter: Thanks, Ron.
Ron Weasley: I'm here for you, mate.
[Dumbledore has arrived at Harry's trial, which was moved up]
Cornelius Fudge: Oh! Albus... I see you got our notice about the time change of the hearing...
Albus Dumbledore: I must have missed it; but by a happy mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early.
Harry Potter: Are you all right? I heard Umbridge gave you a rough time the other day.
Cho Chang: Yeah, I'm OK. Anyway, it's worth it. It's just... learning all this makes me wonder, if he'd known it...
Harry Potter: Cedric *did* know this stuff. He was really good. It's just, Voldemort was better.
Cho Chang: You're a really good teacher, Harry. I've never been able to stun anything before.
[Cho and Harry look up]
Cho Chang: Mistletoe.
Harry Potter: Probably full of Nargles, though.
Cho Chang: What are Nargles?
Harry Potter: I've no idea.
Harry Potter: [to Dumbledore] LOOK AT ME!... What's happening to me?
Sirius Black: It's been 14 years, and still not a day goes by that I don't miss your dad.
Neville Longbottom: Fourteen years ago, a Death Eater named Bellatrix Lestrange used the Crutiatus Curse on my parents. She tortured them for information, but they never gave in. I'm quite proud to be their son. But I'm not sure I'm ready for everyone to know just yet.
Harry Potter: We're going to make them proud, Neville. That's a promise.
Hermione Granger: How'd you get away?
Ginny Weasley: Puking Pastilles. It wasn't pretty.
Ron Weasley: Told them I was hungry and wanted some sweets. Of course, they told me to bugger off and ate the lot themselves.
Hermione Granger: [shocked] That was clever, Ron!
Ron Weasley: It's been known to happen.
Severus Snape: [watches a touching memory between Harry and Sirius] I may vomit.
[Harry sees a little boy crying, and Fred and George are comforting him]
Fred Weasley: What's your name?
Nigel 2nd Year: Nigel.
George Weasley: It's gonna be fine, Nigel.
Fred Weasley: Yeah, it's not as bad as it seems. See? It's fading already.
George Weasley: You can hardly see ours anymore.
Fred Weasley: And the pain stops after a while.
Dolores Umbridge: Wands away. There will be no need to talk.
Hermione Granger: [sotto] No need to think is more like it.
Bellatrix Lestrange: Neville Longbottom, isn't it? How's mum and dad?
Neville Longbottom: Better, now they're about to be avenged!
Hermione Granger: [Harry walks in, Hermione runs to him and hugs him] Oh, Harry!
[pause, she lets go]
Hermione Granger: Are you all right? We overheard them talking about the dementor attack. You must tell us everything.
Ron Weasley: Let the man breathe, Hermione.
Hermione Granger: And this hearing at the Ministry. It's just outrageous! I've looked it up, they simply can't expel you. It's completely unfair!
Harry Potter: There's a lot of that going around, Hermione. So what is this place?
Ron Weasley: Headquarters.
Hermione Granger: Of the Order of the Phoenix. It's a secret society. Dumbledore formed it back when they first fought You-Know-Who.
Harry Potter: You couldn't have put this in a letter, I suppose. I've gone all summer without a scrap of news.
Ron Weasley: We wanted to tell you, mate. Really, we did. Only...
Harry Potter: Only what?
Hermione Granger: Only Dumbledore made us swear that we wouldn't tell you anything.
Harry Potter: [pause] Dumbledore said that? But why would he want to keep me in the dark? Maybe I could help. After all, I'm the one who saw Voldemort return, I'm the one who fought him, I'm the one who saw Cedric Diggory get killed!
Harry Potter: [to Snape] He's got Padfoot! He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!
Dolores Umbridge: Padfoot? What is Padfoot? And where what's hidden? What is he talking about Snape?
Severus Snape: [pause] No idea.
Kreacher: [to Harry] Nasty brat standing there as bold as brass. Harry Potter, the boy who stopped the Dark Lord. Friend of Mudbloods and blood-traitors alike. If my poor mistress only knew...
Sirius Black: Kreacher! That's enough of your bile. Away with you!
Kreacher: [smiles] Of course Master. Kreacher lives to serve the noble house of Black.
Hermione Granger: You've done it, Neville! You've found the Room of Requirement!
Ron Weasley: The what?
Hermione Granger: It's also known as the Come and Go Room. The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has real need of it, and is always equipped with the seeker's needs.
Ron Weasley: So, say you really needed a toilet...
Hermione Granger: Charming, Ronald. But yes, that is the general idea.
Harry Potter: It's brilliant! It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back!
Sybil Trelawney: 16 years I've lived and taught here! Hogwarts is my home! You can't do this!
Dolores Umbridge: Actually, I can.
[McGonagall arrives and tries to comfort Trelawney]
Dolores Umbridge: [to McGonagall] Something you'd like to say, dear?
Minerva McGonagall: Oh, there are several things I would like to say!
Albus Dumbledore: [Dumbledore arrives]
Albus Dumbledore: Professor McGonagall, might I ask you to escort Sybil back inside?
Minerva McGonagall: [to Trelawney] Sybil, dear, this way.
Sybil Trelawney: [shakes Dumbledore's hand] Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Dolores Umbridge: Dumbledore, may I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree #23, as enacted by the Minister...
Albus Dumbledore: You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster.
Dolores Umbridge: For now.
Hermione Granger: He really is out there, isn't he? We've got to be able to defend ourselves. And if Umbridge refuses to teach us how, we need someone who will.
Luna Lovegood: [about her father] We believe you, by the way. That He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and you fought him, and the Ministry and the Prophet are conspiring against you and Dumbledore.
Harry Potter: Thanks. Seems you're about the only ones that do.
Luna Lovegood: I don't think that's true. But I suppose that's how he wants you to feel.
Harry Potter: What do you mean?
Luna Lovegood: Well if I were You-Know-Who, I'd want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it's just you alone you're not as much of a threat.
Hermione Granger: What's wrong with your hand?
Harry Potter: Nothing.
[Harry hides his left hand under his book and shows her his right hand]
Hermione Granger: Your other hand.
[grabbing his left arm from under his book]
Hermione Granger: You've got to tell Dumbledore!
Harry Potter: No. Dumbledore's got enough on his mind right now. Anyway, I don't want to give Umbridge the satisfaction.
Ron Weasley: Bloody hell, Harry, the woman's torturing you! If the parents knew about this...
Harry Potter: Yeah, well I haven't got any of those, have I Ron?
Hermione Granger: Harry, you've got to report this! It's perfectly simple, you're being...
Harry Potter: No, it's not! Hermione whatever this is, it's not simple. You don't understand.
Hermione Granger: Then help us to!
Sirius Black: This is my parent's house. I offered it to Dumbledore as headquarters for the Order. It's about the only useful thing I've been able to do.
Cornelius Fudge: Dawlish, Shacklebolt, you will escort Dumbledore to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy.
Albus Dumbledore: Ah, I thought we might hit this little snag. You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to - what is the phrase? - come quietly.
Lord Voldemort: I need that prophecy.
Sirius Black: You'll have to kill me.
Lord Voldemort: Oh, I will.
Albus Dumbledore: [after Sirius' death] I know how you feel, Harry.
Harry Potter: No you don't.
Harry Potter: It's my fault.
Albus Dumbledore: No, the fault is mine. I knew it was only a matter of time before Voldemort made the connection between you. I thought by distancing myself from you, as I have done all year, he'd be less tempted and therefore you might be more protected.
Harry Potter: The prophecy said neither one can live while the other one survives. It means one of us is going to have to kill the other, in the end.
Albus Dumbledore: Yes.
Harry Potter: Why didn't you tell me?
Albus Dumbledore: For the same reason you tried to save Sirius. For the same reason your friends saved you. After all these years, after all you've suffered, I didn't want to cause you any more pain. I cared too much about you.
Harry Potter: [teaching the DA] Stunning is one of the most important spells in your arsenal. It's sort of a wizard's bread and butter really.
[Ron takes a huge bite out of a sausage]
Hermione Granger: [disgusted] Do you ever stop eating?
Ron Weasley: What? I'm hungry.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [to Harry] How dare you speak his name! YOU FILTHY HALF BLOOD!
Harry Potter: [fighting Bellatrix Lestrange] Crucio!
Lord Voldemort: [taunting Harry] You have to mean it, Harry. You know the spell. She killed him. She deserves it.
Rubeus Hagrid: It's changing out there. Just like last time. There's a storm coming, Harry. And we all best be ready when she does.
Harry Potter: [watching the Centaurs drag Umbridge away] I'm sorry, Professor... But I must not tell lies!
Dolores Umbridge: Predict something.
Sybil Trelawney: Erm. You... are in great danger!
Dolores Umbridge: Lovely!
Severus Snape: You sent for me, Headmistress?
Dolores Umbridge: Ah, yes. The time has come for answers, whether he wants to give them or not. Have you bought the Veritaserum?
Severus Snape: I'm afraid you have used up all my stores interrogating students, the last of it on Miss Chang. Unless you wish to poison Potter - and I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did - I cannot help you.
Lucius Malfoy: [walking with Bellatrix slowly up to Harry] Haven't you always wondered what was the reason for the connection between you and the Dark Lord. Why he was unable to kill you when you were just an infant. Don't you want to know the secret, of your scar. All of the answers are there, Potter, in your hand. All you have to do is give it to me, I can show you everything.
[all of the death eaters start closing in around them]
Harry Potter: I've waited fourteen years...
Lucius Malfoy: I know.
Harry Potter: Think I can wait a little longer. NOW!
Albus Dumbledore: [looking down at Harry that is being tortured by Voldemort in his mind] Harry... It's not how you are alike. It's how you are not...
Sirius Black: I want you to take the others and get out of here.
Harry Potter: What? No, I'm staying with you!
Sirius Black: You've done beautifully. Now let me take it from here.
Ron Weasley: You did everything you could. No one could win against that old hag.
Hermione Granger: Even Dumbledore didn't see this coming. Harry, if it's anyone's fault, it's ours.
Ron Weasley: Yeah, we talked you into it.
Harry Potter: Yeah, but I agreed. I tried so hard to help, and all it's done is made things worse. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore, because I don't want to play anymore. All it does is make you care too much. The more you care the more you have to lose. You maybe it's just best to...
Hermione Granger: To what?
Harry Potter: To go it alone.
Harry Potter: Hey Big D. Beat up another 10 year old?
Dudley Dursley: This one deserved it.
Harry Potter: Five against one. That's very brave.
Dudley Dursley: Well you're one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night. At least I'm not afraid of my pillow. "Don't kill Cedric!" Who's Cedric, your boyfriend?
Nymphadora Tonks: They're very clean, these Muggles. It's unnatural.
Hermione Granger: It means the Ministry's interfering at Hogwarts.
Hermione Granger: That foul, evil old gargoyle! We're not learn how to defend ourselves, we're not learning how to pass our O.W.L.s. She's taking over the entire school!
Sirius Black: The latest intelligence is that Fudge doesn't want you trained in combat.
Ron Weasley: Combat? What does he think, that we're forming some sort of wizard army?
Sirius Black: That's exactly what he thinks. That Dumbledore is assembling his own forces to take on the Ministry. He's becoming more paranoid by the minute. The others wouldn't want me telling you this, Harry, but things aren't going at all well with the Order. Fudge is blocking the truth at every turn, and these disappearances are just how it started before. Voldemort is on the move.
Hermione Granger: [about the mass breakout from Azkaban] Dumbledore warned Fudge this would happen. He's going to get us all killed because he can't face the truth.
Sirius Black: We think Voldemort wants to build up his army again.
[everyone turns to look at Sirius]
Sirius Black: Fourteen years ago he had huge numbers at his command, not just witches and wizards but all manner of dark creatures. He has been recruiting heavily and we have been attempting to do the same. But gathering followers isn't all he's interested in...
[Moody coughs loudly from the corner]
Sirius Black: We believe Voldemort may be after something...
Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Sirius!
Sirius Black: Something he didn't have last time.
Harry Potter: You mean, like a weapon?
[Sirius opens his mouth to speak]
Mrs. Weasley: No! That's enough! He's just a boy, you say much more and you might as well induct him into the Order straight away.
Harry Potter: Good! I want to join! If Voldemort's raising an army then I want to fight!
Hermione Granger: Harry, are you sure?
Harry Potter: I saw it! It's just like with Mr. Weasley! It's the same door I've been dreaming about for months, only I couldn't remember where I'd seen it before! Sirius said Voldemort was after something, something he didn't have last time, and it's in the department of Mysteries!
Hermione Granger: Harry, please just listen! What if Voldemort meant for you to see this? What if he's only hurting Sirius because he's trying to get to you?
Harry Potter: What if he is? I'm supposed to just let him die? Hermione, he's the only family I've got left!
Neville Longbottom: [fighting the Death Eaters] Petrificus Totalus!
Luna Lovegood: [grabbing Nevilles arm] Well done Neville.
Dolores Umbridge: [after Snape leaves] Very well. You give me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security, you leave me with no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue.
Hermione Granger: [glaring at Umbridge] That's illegal!
Dolores Umbridge: [putting a picture of Cornelius Fudge on her desk face down] What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him.
Arthur Weasley: [raising his glass] To Harry Potter, without whom I may not be here. To Harry.
Sirius Black: [at doorway] To Harry.
Dolores Umbridge: [in a calm, relaxed voice] You know, I really hate children.
Harry Potter: [sees that Luna is barefoot] Aren't your feet cold?
Luna Lovegood: A bit. But all my shoes have mysteriously disappeared. I suspect the Nargles are behind it.
Hermione Granger: When are you going to get it into your head? We're in this together!
Fred Weasley: You know, George, I've always felt out futures lay outside the world of academic achievement.
George Weasley: Fred, I've been thinking exactly the same thing.
[Hermione screams as Grawp grabs her and lifts her up]
Rubeus Hagrid: Grawpy, that is not polite!
Ron Weasley: Hagrid, do something!
Rubeus Hagrid: We talked about this! You do not grab, do you? That is your new friend, Hermione!
[Ron swings a tree branch at Grawp's foot. Grawp looks down, puzzled, and shifts his foot slightly, knocking Ron back]
Hermione Granger: Grawp! Put-me-down!
[Grawp stares blankly]
Hermione Granger: *Now*!
[Grawp puts Hermione down gently and turns away shamefully]
Ron Weasley: Are you alright?
Hermione Granger: Fine. He just needs a firm hand, that's all.
Harry Potter: I think you've got an admirer.
Dolores Umbridge: Let me make this quite plain. You have been told that a certain Dark Wizard is at large once again. This is a lie.
Harry Potter: It's not a lie! I saw him. I fought him.
Dolores Umbridge: [shouting] Detention, Mr. Potter!
Harry Potter: So according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead OF HIS OWN ACCORD.
Dolores Umbridge: Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident.
Harry Potter: [angrily] It was murder! Voldemort killed him! You must know!
Dolores Umbridge: [shouting] Enough!
Mrs. Arabella Figg: [she has been asked to describe "them"] One was very huge... the other, very skinny.
Cornelius Fudge: We mean the dementors, not the boys!
Ron Weasley: Maybe you don't have to do this all by yourself, mate.
Seamus Finnigan: Me mam didn't want me to come back this year.
Harry Potter: Why not?
Seamus Finnigan: [sarcastically] Let me see... because of you! The Daily Prophet's been saying a lot of things about you, Harry. About Dumbledore as well.
Harry Potter: And your mum believes them?
Seamus Finnigan: Well, no one was there the night Cedric died.
Harry Potter: Oh, well I guess you should read the Prophet then, like your stupid mother. It'll tell you everything you need to know.
Seamus Finnigan: Don't you dare talk about my mother like that!
Harry Potter: I'll have a go at anyone who calls me a liar!
Cornelius Fudge: [referring to Lord Voldemort] He's back!
Dolores Umbridge: [Harry has come in to do his detention] You're going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter.
[Potter opens his bag for his quill but Umbridge stops him]
Dolores Umbridge: No, not with your quill. You're going to be using a rather special one of mine. Now, I want you to write "I must not tell lies."
Harry Potter: How many times?
Dolores Umbridge: Let's see... As long as it takes for the message to sink in.
Harry Potter: You haven't given me any ink.
Dolores Umbridge: Oh, you won't need any ink.
Harry Potter: [sees a strange reptilian-like horse] What is it?
Ron Weasley: What's what?
Harry Potter: That. Pulling the carriage.
Hermione Granger: Nothing's pulling the carriage, Harry. It's pulling itself like always.
[Harry walks around the carriage, where Luna is already seated]
Luna Lovegood: You're not going mad.
[lowers her magazine, The Quibbler, which she has been reading upside down]
Luna Lovegood: I see them too. You're just as sane as I am.
Severus Snape: You're just like your father. Lazy, arrogant...
Harry Potter: Don't say a word against my father!
Harry Potter: I'm not weak!
Severus Snape: Then prove it!
Harry Potter: [stepping out of the Dursleys' house onto the street] Where are we going?. The letter said I have been expelled from Hogwarts.
Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: You haven't been. Not yet.
[looks at Kingsley]
Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Kingsley, you take point.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: Right.
Harry Potter: But the letter said...
Kingsley Shacklebolt: [interrupting Harry] Dumbledore has persuaded the Minister to suspend your expulsion, pending a formal hearing.
Harry Potter: Hearing?
Kingsley Shacklebolt: Uh-huh.
Nymphadora Tonks: Don't worry Harry. We'll explain everything when we get back to headquarters.
Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Shh! Not here, Nymphadora.
Nymphadora Tonks: [hair changes color from pink to bright red] *Don't* call me Nymphadora!
[Moody taps his staff twice and broomsticks fly up to them]
Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Stay in formation, everyone. Don't break ranks if one of us is killed.
Dolores Umbridge: Pardon me, Professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?
Minerva McGonagall: I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices.
Dolores Umbridge: So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom, Minerva.
Minerva McGonagall: Not at all, Dolores, merely your medieval methods.
Dolores Umbridge: I am sorry, dear, but to question my practices is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister himself. I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty.
Minerva McGonagall: Disloyalty?
Dolores Umbridge: Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared.
Harry Potter: [teaching Dumbledore's Army] Working hard is important, but there's something else that's even more important: believing in yourself. Look at it this way: every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now - students. If they can do it, why not us?
Albus Dumbledore: Witness for the defense, Albus Percival Wulfric... Brian... Dumbledore.
Vernon Dursley: Face it, Petunia! Our boy has gone yumpy!
Sirius Black: When all this is over we'll be a proper family. You'll see.
Young James Potter: Who wants to watch me take off Snivelly's trousers?
Mrs. Weasley: [Fred and George have just appeared out of thin air and Mrs Weasley screams] Just because you can use magic now does not mean you have to whip your wands out for everything.
Harry Potter: [about the Thestrals] So why can't the others see them?
Luna Lovegood: The only people who can see them are those who've seen death.
Harry Potter: So, you've known someone who died?
Luna Lovegood: My mum. She was quite an extraordinary witch, but she did like to experiment, and one day, one of her spells went badly wrong. I was nine.
Harry Potter: I'm sorry.
Luna Lovegood: Yes, it was rather horrible. I still feel very sad about it sometimes. But I've still got Dad.
Severus Snape: How touchingly paternal, Black. Perhaps Potter will grow up to be a felon, just like his godfather!
Lucius Malfoy: Let's just everybody, calm down... shall we?
[after seeing that Harry Potter has been expelled from Hogwarts]
Uncle Vernon Dursley: [baring his teeth and barely able to keep his composure] *Justice*.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [taunting Harry] I killed Sirius Black!
Bellatrix Lestrange: You coming to get me?
Bellatrix Lestrange: He knows how to play. Itty-bitty-baby-Potter.
Dolores Umbridge: [to the students at the great hall during their first dinner] I hope that we all are going to be good very good friends.
Severus Snape: [after Harry looks through his memories, grabs him by the shirt] Your lessons are at an end.
Harry Potter: I didn't...
Severus Snape: [tugs him and enunciates] Get... out!
[Snape lets Harry go making him leave]
Albus Dumbledore: Cornelius, I implore you to see reason. The evidence that the Dark Lord has returned is incontrovertible.
Cornelius Fudge: [defiantly] He is not back!
Dolores Umbridge: [walks in front of Harry with a straight face] Yes?
Harry Potter: [hesitates and looks at his scarred hand] Nothing.
Dolores Umbridge: [bends down] That's right. Because deep down you know that you deserve to be punished. Don't you Mr. Potter?
Dolores Umbridge: [to Harry] As I told you, Mr. Potter, naughty children deserve to be punished.
Lord Voldemort: You're a fool, Harry Potter, and you will lose everything.
Severus Snape: It appears there is a connection between the Dark Lord's mind and your own. Whether he is, as yet, aware of this connection is for the moment unclear. Pray he remains ignorant.
Harry Potter: You mean if he knows about it then, he'll be able to read my mind.
Severus Snape: Read it, control it, unhinge it. In the past it was often the Dark Lord's pleasure to invade the minds of his victims, creating visions designed to torture them into madness. Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only when he had them litterly begging for death would he finally... kill them. Used properly, the power of Occlumency will help shield you from access or influence. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your mind. You will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself! Legillimens!
Albus Dumbledore: [looking up at Fudge] Charges?
Cornelius Fudge: The Charges to the accused are as follows: that he did willingly, and in the full knowledge of the illegality of his actions, perform a Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle.
Dolores Umbridge: [holding clipboard and smiling at Trelawney] Could you please predict something for me?
Sybil Trelawney: [stops teaching and looks over at Umbridge with a surprised and unhappy face] I'm sorry?
Mrs. Arabella Figg: Dementors in Little Winging! Whatever next? The whole world's gone topsy-turvy!
Sirius Black: Fudge is using all his power, including his influence at the Daily Prophet, to smear anyone who claims the Dark Lord has returned.
Harry Potter: Why?
Remus Lupin: The Minister thinks Dumbledore's after his job.
Harry Potter: But that's insane! No one in their right mind could believe that Dumbledore...
Remus Lupin: Exactly the point. Fudge isn't in his right mind. It's been twisted and warped by fear. Now fear makes people do terrible things, Harry. The last time Voldemort gained power he almost destroyed everything we hold most dear. Now he's returned, and I'm afraid the Minister will do almost anything to avoid facing that terrifying truth.
Draco Malfoy: I'm surprised the Ministry's still letting you walk around free, Potter. You better enjoy it while you can. I expect there's a cell in Azkaban with your name on it.
Hermione Granger: Everyone, this is Loony...
[too late realizing her mistake]
Hermione Granger: ...Luna Lovegood.
Lucius Malfoy: Did you actually believe, or are you truly naïve enough to think that children stood a chance against us? I'll make this simple for you, Potter. Give me the prophecy now, or watch your friends die.
Neville Longbottom: Don't give it to him, Harry!
Harry Potter: Sirius, what are you doing here? If somebody sees you...
Sirius Black: I had to see you off, didn't I? What's life without a little risk?
Harry Potter: I just don't want to see you get shut back in Azkaban.
Dolores Umbridge: [over P.A] Boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other.
Dolores Umbridge: [standing with her Inquisitorial squad holding Cho Chang hostage] Take them!
Hermione Granger: Harry please, they are going to be here any minute.
Dolores Umbridge: [yelling at Centaurs] How dare you! You filthy half-breeds!
Dolores Umbridge: [pointing her wand at Centaurs] Incarcerous!
Sirius Black: [to Harry about the picture] The original Order of the Phoenix.
Dolores Umbridge: [to Harry, Hermione and the Centaurs] I WILL have order!
Mrs. Weasley: [at the dinner table on Christmas] Sit down everyone, sit down. That's it, now present time.
Dolores Umbridge: [pointing her wand at Harry, Ron and Hermione in the Forbidden Forest] For the greater good. I want to do what must be done.
Luna Lovegood: They're called Thestrals. They're quite gentle, really, but people avoid them, because they're a bit...
Harry Potter: Different.
Albus Dumbledore: It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.
Lord Voldemort: By which time I shall be gone, and you... shall be dead!
Arthur Weasley: This is very, very peculiar. It seems as if your hearing is to be in front of the entire Wizengamot.
Harry Potter: I don't understand. What has the Ministry of Magic got against me?
Seamus Finnigan: [in the grand hall] Harry! I... uh... I wanted to apologize. I know with everything me mam is saying in the Prophet is all very druddle. So, what I'm really trying to say is that... I believe you.
Albus Dumbledore: Don't fight him Harry, you can't win!
Cornelius Fudge: The Ministry of Magic is pleased to announce the appointment of Dolores Jane Umbridge as High Inquisitor, to address the falling standards at Hogwarts School.
Radio announcer: I don't know about you, it's just too hot today, isn't it? And it's going to get even worse. Temperatures up in the mid 30's Celsius, that's the mid 90's Fahrenheit, tomorrow maybe even hitting 100. So please, remember to cover up and stay cool with the hottest hits on your FM dial.
Hermione Granger: [after her faux pas about Luna's name] So... that's an interesting necklace.
Luna Lovegood: It's a charm actually. It keeps away the Nargles.
Luna Lovegood: Hungry. I hope they have pudding.
[the carriage starts rolling]
Neville Longbottom: [whispering] What's a Nargle?
Hermione Granger: [whispering] No idea.
[Cho stands waiting outside the Great Hall as the members of the DA exit after their detention with Professor Umbridge. As everyone ignores her or casts scathing looks at her, Harry finally appears]
Cho Chang: Harry...
[he merely pauses, barely looks at her, and walks away]
Uncle Vernon Dursley: I've reached my limit, do you hear? This is the last I'm gonna take of you and your nonsense!
[Umbridge, Hermione and Harry see a group of centaurs staring at them]
Dolores Umbridge: [backs away] You have no business here, centaur! This is a ministry matter.
[the centaurs ready their bows and arrows]
Dolores Umbridge: Lower your weapons! I warn you: under the law as creatures of near-human intelligence...
[one centaur fires his arrow at her]
Dolores Umbridge: [blocks it with her wand] Protego! How dare you, you filthy half-breed! Incarcerus!
[Umbridge's spell takes a rope and chokes one centaur, making it writhe from the rope's grip, Hermione tries to help him]
Hermione Granger: [gasps] Please! Please, stop it! Please!
Dolores Umbridge: NO, ENOUGH! I will have order!
[Umbridge suddenly screams as Grawp picks her up, all the centaurs yell and approach Grawp]
Dolores Umbridge: [to Grawp] YOU FILTHY ANIMAL! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!
Hermione Granger: [runs to the centaurs] Leave him alone! It's not his fault!
[Harry takes Hermione away from them]
Hermione Granger: No, he doesn't understand!
[the centaurs fires their arrows making Grawp release Umbridge]
Dolores Umbridge: [as the centaurs take her] Potter, do something - tell them I mean no harm!
Harry Potter: [contently] I'm sorry, Professor... but I must not tell lies.
Dolores Umbridge: [gets taken away] What are you doing! I am senior undersecretary Dolores Jane Umbridge! LET... ME... GOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Harry and Hermione look up and Grawp in gratitude]
Hermione Granger: Thank you, Grawp.
Dolores Umbridge: Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.
Harry Potter: They've got Padfoot.
Dolores Umbridge: Who's Padfoot? Who is he?
Severus Snape: [sarcastically] I have no idea.
Luna Lovegood: [regarding Hogwarts's Food] I hope they have pudding.